When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear - OTA

[movetheearth]

The repetitive thud thud thud of fists connecting with the punching bag are a big giveaway of where Ric is currently seeking solitude. He's got one earphone in his ear, music screeching out loud and angry from where the other dangling down, bouncing against his chest as he takes out his anger on the inanimate object.

There's no way to easily

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[mad_asahatter]

As the illness faded, most people returned to their normal emotional state. It felt better, it was a good different from the week or so of everyone feeling down. The discomfort faded, the tiredness was gone, people started to feel relieved -mostly to be out of the medical centre she figured. But what Phe couldn't understand was the odd signature she was getting from Rictor.

Usually, she had a fairly good grasp on Rictor's emotional setting, and it was never this convoluted, never this shaky and mixed up. For the first time, Phe was tentative about following that tendril of Ric's emotions to find him.

When she did find him, worked up and working out, she knew better than to just bounce in. Things were far too unstable and she couldn't just overload him on calm; it would be too sudden, too much, too different. So, as he continued to punch and wear himself out, Phe crosses her legs and plants herself on the floor, leaning against the wall and waiting for him to calm himself.

If he takes too long, then she'll nudge him along the right way, but only if it looks like he's going too far.

[movetheearth]

It would be so much easier to just let Ophelia quell the anger and mess of anxious feelings that knot and boil away in the pit of his stomach but in all honesty? Ric is kind of enjoying the heavy, angry sensation that thrums in his veins and makes him want to lash out. Wallowing in self pity and possibly punishing himself for what happened between him and Rogue.

The slap, upon reflection, might have been a step too far.

Maybe.

Watching Phe out of the corner of his eye Ric is pleased when she doesn't interrupt his workout, even bracing himself for the tendrils of emotion when Phe nudges him back on track. But they don't come and he allows the dark cloud he's beneath to fuel his workout. Finally though he needs a break and moving over to join Phe, Ric slides down the wall as he drains the water from his bottle.

He open and closes his mouth to respond but after a couple aborted attempts Ric just falls silent again. Which probably says more about his mood than anything else.

[mad_asahatter]

She was starting to learn, somehow, that everyone needed to experience their emotions sometimes. Constantly coddling Rictor, as much as she wanted to, was probably going to give him some kind of breakdown and she really didn't want to spark that. He was unstable at the best of times, it was easier if Phe just stuck close to take the edge off some things.

And he seemed to be able to mostly work through things there. The anger was slowly melting into the exhaustion, and while Phe could tell it wasn't gone, it was simply stamped down, it seemed better this way than for her to take it away.

When he joined her on the floor, she waited for him to figure out what he wanted to say, and when that didn't happen, she just wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling his head to her shoulder and started stroking her hand through his hair, soothing without adding her powers just yet.

[movetheearth]

Ric is almost sprawling across Phe, face buried against her neck as he lets her simple petting soothe his emotions. He doesn't even realize that there are tears rolling down his cheeks until he lifts a hand to his face and wipes at them, fingers damp with moisture. Sniffling Ric sits up a little more, swiping at his face with the corner of his sweaty t-shirt.

"I trusted her Phe, I trusted her." He could have started at the beginning, explained what happened but he doesn't just jumps in where it suits him. "She said all this shit about me, I mean I don't have problems Phe! I don't rely on drink or cigarettes I mean, what the fuck is she talking about?! Everyone enjoys a drink or two and smoking is my vice, sure but everyone has habits. I just..."

Ric reaches for the water bottle and drains the rest, head thudding back agains the wall. "She's like a sister to me Phe and she kissed him. How do I? How do I forgive that? How?"

[mad_asahatter]

Right there, Ophelia isn't the best sounding more for these matters, not in the least. Somewhere, under everything, she understands every word that Rictor says, even if the context is slightly muddled. There's enough there for her to recognise that this is an issue of Rogue and Martini and Rictor, and Phe sort of knew something would come because of Spokane.

As he thuds his head back, Phe shifts around and crawls into his lap, arms winding around his shoulders, hands cupping the back of his head and pressing her forehead to his. "Drinks are drunk and drunks are drink, it's simply a matter of what others think." Honestly, she wasn't keeping track. She understood that there were times when Rictor's emotions were dark and muddled and filled with grief, there was regret and self-depreciation and the sort of things she wanted to always take away from him.

"Families feud and don't get along, give a while and it'll be a different song." The best Phe could do from there out was to press her comforting love into him and just envelope him in the affection she had for him. Not taking anything away, but giving something to cling to.

[movetheearth]

Arms wrapped around Phe's waist, he shuts his eyes relaxing under the touch though the tension and anger in his body still doesn't quite subside. He nods, he should have known that Phe would understand him, wouldn't judge him for his actions or words. No she'd just show him love and affection, and selfishly that's all that Ric wants.

"Why can't it be better now? Why did she bring it up? I just... it hurts Phe." It's an ache that won't go away, consuming Ric much like the other dark thoughts in his head. Ophelia is right though, this will eventually come to pass and the anger that Ric feels right now towards Rogue and, in part, towards Martini will subside. He'll get his priorities right and come to see that sometimes things happen for reasons we don't quite understand at the time. It wasn't like Rogue was trying to intentionally hurt his feelings, that doesn't make his anger any less right now.

Ric presses his lips to Phe's, it's a needy kiss a mix of open-mouthed pressure and slick lips.

[mad_asahatter]

Because the feelings are attached to Martini, Phe won't touch them. She understands that Rictor would do better without them now, but she still can't bring herself to remove something from what makes them who they are together. Even if it's a fight.

On his own, Rictor has the feel of cotton about him; smooth and soft and nice to wrap up in. There are times, of course, when it's too hot, when it gets a little smothering and you need to take a break. With Mark, with his boy, it was like being in a cotton candy machine; fluffy and soft and sweet. The times they had their falling out, it was still the cotton candy taste and feel, but just the crystals instead of the fluff, and Phe understood the need for those moments to make the rest of the time as sweet as it did.

Leaning into him, giving up what she could to ease the pain, Phe just trailed her hands through his hair and nipped his lip, pushing her love and adoration and worry into him, soothing back the anger for now. Her kisses moved along his jaw, to under his ear and down his neck, until she tightened her arms around him and pulling him into a hug while everything she felt for him was right there to feel. "Time needs time and time to go. Not now but soon, and then you'll know."

[movetheearth]

Clinging to Phe he lets her comfort him, easing the anger and frustration but not taking it away. He buries his face against her shoulder, shakey breaths betraying the fact that he is close to tears but won't shed any willingly.

Finally sitting up he offers Ophelia what can be best described as a watery smile. "He said, Julio, you're going to regret everything so much and a part of me is terrified to find out what Martini really means by it. I know, I can't change the past but... Phe I'm... I hit her. I'm just so angry and it's not just about this it's about everything."

Slightly gripping her arm Ric pulls it gently back, guiding Phe's hand till it's pressed over his stomach, "I feel sick to my stomach that Rogue did this and I reacted how I did." He draws her hand up till it's palm flat over where his heart is. "And it hurts here because I'm scared I'll lose everyone." He slowly he lifts her wrist till her palm is loosely cupping his cheek and Phe's fingertips are resting against his temple. "And I'm messed up in here because I never... there's just too much shit up there and not enough brain cells."

And this is the first and probably the only time, in a very long time that Ric'll ever willingly admit just how messed up his is on the inside.

[mad_asahatter]

It physically hurts her that Rictor is hurting, at all, anywhere, nevermind in his heart and his head and his stomach. She's just torn at wanting to take it all away from him and still knowing that he needs this, to deal with it himself. "She's a big girl, you know she is. She's not the type to claw and hiss." That was Rictor's style, the under the table sort of blows, and that was fine in her book, her own methods were questionable. "But give it some time, wait and see. You can grovel and plead if it's what needs be."

To whatever extent she could, Phe pulled Ric close, coaxing his head onto her shoulder and under her chin while she stroked along the back of his head. "Need some stones to straighten it out, so that you know what it's all about. Find out the score, don't run and hide. It's bound to flit off like the dwindling tide."

If this was about Spokane, it would sort itself out. Phe knew that for sure, moods would simmer and people would apologise and everyone would move past it. But if it was more, if it really was an airing of those skeletons she knew her Bric-a-Brac had all locked up inside, well, it would take a while. And Phe would help draw the line in the sand if she could, but Rictor needed to take that first step.

"It might hurt now, but not forever. Ophelia won't leave you, not now, not never."

[movetheearth]

Cuddling up against Ophelia, Ric allows some of that anger to release and not be quite so knotted up inside of him. Instead he just huffs, swiping at tears and breathing in the soft, sweet scent that was distinctly Ophelia. He nods at her words, the physical comfort providing him with that same sense of grounding that Ric gets from contact with the earth.

She always knew how to stop things seeming so bad, even when she wasn't using her mutation. It's Phe's deep down inner gut feeling that she latches onto around Ric that brings him comfort. There's no doubt in Ric's mind that Ophelia won't go, not unless she's forced to because they love each other. Heck, she still loves him after he'd bailed on her.

"Love you my princess." The words are muffled as Ric buries his face against her shoulder and sighs softly.

[mad_asahatter]

She smiles softly, resting her cheek on the top of his head. "I love you too, darling."

There were moments when she knew she needed to be coherent and out of the haze. She allowed herself those when they needed to come and functioning without the noise around her was so much easier with Elisabeth's help and that connection. What troubled her was the depth of Ric's despair.

She could clean out, surely. Take away some of the weight. Things that she could feel from other issues -the Daken problem, taking the worry and fear from that, the Wade issue, taking the pain and resentment from there, a little of his concern for Emma going away and his displeased feelings towards the Captain. She could clean out the unnecessary things.

"You know he does too. So does she. It's just a mess, it's just muddled. It's not meant to be like this, it won't last like that. It can't."