into the black & back again (weemo/firefly crossover)

[sobota]

okay, i'm sure only like five of you are actually going to read this. i wrote a firefly crossover starring some of our favourites from the weemo!verse. no idea what firefly actually IS? wikipedia has the answers you're looking for. uhm... i hope i didn't fuck up too badly.

(mcr makes a special guest appearance, including lyrics from the black parade.)

into the black & back again
pg13//multiple pairings (gabe/william; spencer/joe t; ryan/brendon; jon/andy implied)
+ sorry, warning for character death



"What the hell are you doing to my ship, JWalk!" Gabe shouted from the engine room door as the klaxons sounded around him; all he could see of his engineer was the bottoms of his flip-flops and the dirty, bedraggled ends of his jeans.

Jon shook one foot, and slid himself out of the bottom of the engine. "It wasn't nothing, Captain," he replied, pressing an orange button. The sirens stopped, leaving only the pleasant humming of the engine room.

"I just had to re-calibrate the CH6 output meter and… " (Here Gabe stared into the middle distance until Jon spoke something he could understand, like Chinese.) "Don't quite know why the alarms went crazy, but Serenity'll be just fine now."

Gabe nodded. "Make sure of that, okay? Didn't hire you to hurt my baby." Jon gave him a bit of a mock salute and squeezed past the engine to his hammock.

"Got any strawberries, Captain?" Jon asked, settling back with his little stuffed koala.

"You'd be the first to know," Gabe replied, turning and walking out of the engine room, nearly tripping over Ryan, who was lying across the gangway. "Qù nide!" Gabe shouted.

Ryan opened his eyes. "Mama, we're all full of lies." He stayed on his back, staring up at Gabe.

Gabe was not in the mood. "What? Wait...you know what... don't answer that." He stepped over Ryan and continued walking.

"Right now, they're building a coffin your size," Ryan said to Gabe's retreating back.

"Hope that's not a threat," Gabe countered, and made his way to the bridge.

He stood in the doorway. Joe had one hand on the controls, his other draped around Spencer's slim waist. Spencer's back was pressed against Joe, sitting on one of his legs. Gabe didn't move, but Spencer turned his head as Joe kept talking. His lips twitched and then he turned away to kiss Joe's temple. Joe paused and smiled, looking up at Spencer and pressing his lips briefly to Spencer's.

Spencer turned away and stood up. "Nihau, Captain."

Joe dropped his arm and gave Spencer a wry smile.

"You know, I dunno how you just… know somebody else is in the room," Joe muttered, glancing over the screen.

"Call it a soldier's intuition," Spencer murmured, his fingers raking slightly through Joe's hair. Gabe looked away again.

"You done making kissy faces," Gabe said, trying to train his face into a mask of the nonchalant captain. "Trohman, you got a status on the triangs for our latest jump point?"

"Hey, yeah, about that, something really doesn't seem… kosher," Joe replied. He tapped at the screen, bringing up the latest feed from Persephone. "I think maybe Pete fucked up."

"Pete's yellow, but he doesn't fuck up," Spencer replied. "His info is always solid. I'm thinking it was Ray, Captain."

"Gorramit, you always gotta disagree with me in front of the Captain," Joe mumbled, and Spencer arched an eyebrow his way.

"Why would Ray fuck up on some triangulation points," Gabe said. "And why aren't we figuring out where we're actually going?"

"On it, Captain," Joe replied, and Spencer gave him one last affectionate petting thing (Gabe wasn't sure how married couples showed affection-then again, Joe and Spencer were the only married couple he actually knew).

Spencer and he walked off the bridge. "There's been an issue with the hot water and pressure lately," Spencer said as they walked down to the common area. Ryan sat on a railing, looking at them.

"Nihau ma, Ryan," Spencer said conversationally. Gabe opened his mouth to warn Spencer that Ryan wasn't all there-as usual--but Ryan slid off the railing and walked up to Spencer.

They stood, and stared at each other. Spencer's arms were relaxed at his sides, and his blue eyes were level with Ryan's brown ones. A grin tugged at Ryan's lips, and he turned away, continuing the walk down towards the common area.

"I should have been a better son. I could have been a better son," Ryan chanted, and continued as he walked. Spencer looked at Gabe, who just shrugged and followed him.

Patrick was there, leaning against a wall, a book open in his hand. Ryan was sitting on the table, watching Patrick, who either didn't notice or didn't care.

"So, about that water pressure," Gabe said, attempting to pick back up on the conversation, opening and closing drawers, and then smoothing down his coat. "Yeah… I caught on to it too, but there ain't really nothing…"

"Maybe one of the pipes has corroded," Ryan said to Patrick's bent head.

"Maybe," Spencer said. "Any way to check that?"

"JWalk would know better'n anybody," Gabe replied. "I'll ask him."

Patrick looked up, and seemed shocked that there were people in the room. Ryan kept staring at him, and Patrick straightened his glasses a bit. "Hello, Captain, Spencer… Ryan." He stared at Ryan a bit, and then smiled. "How long until our next drop-off?"

"Dunno about that," Gabe said, tapping the table. "Seems like the feed might've been transmitted wrong."

Patrick nodded, and closed his book. Ryan still hadn't taken his eyes off of Patrick, but if it bothered him, he made an admirable show of not noticing. He straightened his glasses again.

"You don't really need those glasses do you, Patrick?" Ryan asked. Patrick cocked his head, and shrugged.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't," he said, and slipped out of the room.

There was a short silence-Ryan stared at the door Patrick had left from, Spencer looked at Ryan, and Gabe looked at a wall.

And then the klaxons sounded again.

"Gorramit, JWalk," Gabe muttered and got up. Spencer followed him as they tramped out of the common area-Spencer towards the bridge and Gabe towards the engine room.

"What in the gorram hell," came a voice from under Gabe's feet: Travis. Gabe looked down, seeing Travis coming up from his bunk.

"Well, you slept through the first ones, didn't ya," Gabe shouted, pushing open the engine room door. "JWalk, what the hell-"

"It ain't me Captain, I swear it," Jon shouted. "Those aren't engine trouble ringers, everything's shiny with Serenity."

Travis showed up behind Gabe. "Then what the hell is it?" Gabe asked. He had never heard these bells before. And they were piercing.

"Captain," came Joe's very scared, and very loud, voice over the PA. "You gotta get up here like yesterday!"

Gabe cursed a little bit more than was natural and made his way to the bridge. Spencer glanced over his shoulder and nodded.

"Seems we trigged an alarm system we never knew we had," Spencer said.

"Damnit I wanted to tell him," Joe said, but it was a throwaway joke, because his jaw was clenched and his knuckles white. "Never heard them before, and I'm thinking Serenity has something to say."

"Well… duh," Gabe snapped. "But what?" He looked out, but there was nothing in the ship's field of vision.

Serenity rocked dangerously, but nothing had hit it. "You wanna keep her steady there, Joe," Gabe muttered.

"It's like we got some strong magnets holding us," Joe said. "Can't break out of them." His arms strained, and Spencer touched his back.

"Don't hurt yourself," Spencer whispered.

"Or my ship," Gabe added.

"You better run like the devil 'cause they're never gonna leave you alone," Ryan said from the entrance of the cockpit.

"You know, if you ain't got nothin' better than that, you might wanna leave, dongma," Gabe said.

"Michael James Way, Alliance official 43-A7."

"Serenity doesn't ring bells for Alliance," Gabe said. "If she did we wouldn't ever get any sleep."

"She does for this one. B-612, the ship's name is Disenchantment." Ryan pushed his hair out of his face, and tipped his head to the side.

"B-612s are Alliance ships," Spencer said. "But… they haven't been around since U-Day. Didn't think Serenity would be older than that."

Gabe looked at Spencer, and then the klaxons stopped.

Disenchantment had docked, but Gabe didn't see how. It wasn't as if he had given permission for the dock; Joe hadn't pressed the buttons for the docking equipment to even budge.

"Hey, Captain, there's someone here to see you, name of Michael Way?" Travis sounded strained, and he coughed. "Says he's official."

"Official," Gabe echoed.

"Official like Alliance official," Joe muttered. "I'm gonna kill Ray. Maybe Pete too."

"Not yet," Spencer murmured. "Let's go see what Michael Way wants."

---

He didn't look like any Alliance official Gabe had ever seen. He was slight; looked easy to break, shy. He had kohl around his eyes.

"He's a sly one, ain't he," Travis breathed.

"Shut up," Gabe said. "Man with kohl round his eyes ain't always interested in ruttin' with other men."

"Not always," Spencer said with a smirk. He had a thin line of the stuff on his lower lids. Gabe always thought it made him look fetching, but now wasn't really time.

"Gabriel Eduardo Saporta," Michael said.

"Captain," Gabe said automatically.

"I don't think the Alliance would recognise your status as Captain," Michael replied.

"Well we do, you sly liumang," Travis said. Usually, Gabe questioned Travis's loyalty. Alliance pissants pissed off everybody on the ship.

But this really wasn't the time to declare loyalties. Spencer took Travis's arm-"Ow, gàn"-and frog marched him out of the bay. Gabe watched them for a few moments and then turned to stare at Michael.

"Is this official Alliance business or are you just in the habit of harassing Fireflies?"

"Both," Michael replied. "I'm going to have to see your papers. You have a Companion on board, don't you?"

Gabe's hand automatically went to his side, fingers curling around the grip of his gun. "What's William got to do with official Alliance business?" Gabe asked, his voice flat and solid. (Brick wall talk, Travis called it. Can't get past it, Joe would add.)

"Fireflies aren't generally in the habit of keeping Companions on board, especially legitimate ones," Michael replied. "I'm also going to need to see your papers for this… ship." He looked around, and cleared his throat.

Gabe backed to the PA system, his eyes trained on Michael. He couldn't see weapons, but then, he never knew where Spencer hid his weapons either.

"Stump, bring down the papers for Serenity and for William."

"Ah, yes Captain," came Patrick's voice.

He didn't take long (Gabe guessed he hadn't been far). And he came with company: Spencer and a berated Travis. Travis had his gun out and ready though, his finger on the trigger.

And then there was William.

William didn't walk; he glided. He stopped at one of the upper gangways, and looked down at the crowd. "I assure you, Mr Way, that my business on board Serenity is legitimate, as is everything else on this ship."

Michael looked at William for a long time; Gabe didn't blame him. If he could look that way at William without being slapped or lectured, he would. William made any warm blooded creature in the room change his mind about things (including Travis). It was his hips and his lips and his fingers and his long, long legs.

"I sincerely doubt that everything on this ship is as legitimate as you are," Michael said, and took the thin sheets of plastic from Patrick. Gabe saw Patrick slip one more hologram into the stack, but didn't say anything. Patrick normally knew his way around Alliance officials.

Michael looked over each sheet meticulously, and William glided down to join the rest of the crew, standing near Gabe. He pushed his hair out of his face. He smelled like vanilla. Gabe didn't think that scent existed anymore.

"Giving you a little bit of trouble there, Way? Ain't that hard to read."

Michael looked at Gabe. "You know, harassing an Alliance official isn't the best of ideas," he said, his eyes narrowing.

"I'm sure he meant nothing by it," William purred. Gabe had never heard a man purr like that, but he wasn't going to complain. William moved closer to Michael.

Michael shifted a bit, reached up to touch the side of his face, but said nothing as William cocked a hip in his direction. "Yes, well…" He stared at William, looking down the line of his body, and then going back to the holograms. "Your papers are legitimate, sir," he said to William. "And your papers have been faked well enough to seem legitimate, Saporta."

Gabe's upper lip curled. "Course."

Michael got to the sheet Patrick had slipped into the stack, and looked at it for a few minutes.

His head snapped up, and he looked at Patrick, standing there. Short, pudgy little Patrick, who was quiet and clean and a damn good cook.

Michael's eyes widened. "Oh… I'm terribly sorry sir, I had no idea…"

"No, I suppose you wouldn't," Patrick said. "Is there a reason we got a warning signal for your B-612?"

Damn that Ryan.

"I have no idea," Michael replied.

"Hmm," Patrick said, and nodded. "Now, unless you have other business on the ship…"

Michael glanced at William, and shook his head.

William's lips curled into a smile, and he leaned forward to give Michael a kiss. A chaste kiss, but Gabe was suddenly glad the hot water wasn't working on Serenity.

Michael stared at William, blinking. He nodded, and nodded at Patrick. "Right… keep out of Alliance airways, and maybe you won't get any trouble from us," he snapped at Gabe, and walked to his ship.

The ship took a collective breath. William raised an eyebrow.

"The drop point Pete gave you was in Alliance territory," Patrick said into the sudden emptiness of the bay. "Seems kind of unusual for a Wentz job."

"Shouldn't have been… gorramit," Gabe mumbled.

---

"It was Ray!"

"Oh, so you let your apprentices do all your fact checking now, huh?"

Pete's face fuzzed out for a second, and when the lines came back into order, Pete's lip was lifted in a snarl. Gabe hated that face. Hated it with every fibre of his being.

"Look man, I gave Ray the right numbers. Maybe his finger slipped and put you in Alliance territory. I told you a million times the stuff's on an outpost."

"Okay, genius, why don't you give me the ACTUAL numbers right the gorram hell now!"

Pete reached up and started touching the screen. The screen next to the vidscreen lit up, and Gabe sent the scrolling numbers to Joe.

"You really need to get laid, Gabe," Pete said.

"Oh yeah, and I've got tons of ladies and gents lining up outside my door right this second to give me the pleasure."

Pete laughed. "See you when I see you." And then he blinked out.
Gabe took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, mumbling. He went to the engine room to check on Serenity.

Ryan was sitting next to the bulk, murmuring something. Gabe cleared his throat, and Ryan looked over at Gabe.

"You talking to Serenity," Gabe said. Something about the way Ryan was leaning against the engine, his hands black with grease, the side of his face pressed onto a clean, probably warm spot…it made Gabe's stomach tighten.

"I'm telling her a story," Ryan replied. He continued murmuring.

"What kind of story?" Gabe asked, sitting down with Ryan. Ryan kept murmuring to Serenity.

"When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band." Ryan closed his eyes. "He said son when you grow up, would you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned."

"Does this have a happy ending?" Gabe asked, and Ryan opened his eyes.

He smiled, a real smile, not a feral one that made Gabe think of wild dogs.

"I think so," Ryan replied. Gabe smiled in return, but he suddenly felt like he was intruding on a very private conversation.

"Hey, where's JWalk?"

Ryan opened his eyes. "He hurt his arm and my brother is fixing it."

Gabe nodded and got up, closing the door behind him.

---

Andy, Ryan's brother, was a good doctor, but he probably had the worst bedside manner Gabe had ever seen. Some docs in the trenches that were real callous bastards had treated him, but at least you could crack a smile out of those guys.

"Kaimén," Gabe said to the medical bay doors, and they opened with an ingratiating sigh.

Andy was laughing as he stitched Jon's arm. As far as Gabe knew, Andy didn't exactly know how to laugh. Jon must have told the funniest joke in the 'Verse to get Andy to crack a smile, let alone laugh.

Gabe cleared his throat. "Ryan's telling Serenity stories."

"He does that," Jon said, blushing and watching as Andy suddenly stopped smiling and went back to stitching Jon's arm. "I think she likes it. Which one was it this time?"

"Something about a marching band and being the leader of a bunch of broken down losers."

"Sort of like the Independents, then," Andy said. Maybe he meant it as a joke, but Gabe didn't take those sorts of statements lightly. Not when he and Spencer lost so many friends…

Gabe took a deep breath. "You should probably remember who took you and your brother in and who are keeping you two outta Alliance hands," he said quietly. "What happened to you, JWalk?"

"Nothing much," Jon said, shifting and looking at Andy. "Was just messing around trying to figure out the pipes and pulled my arm out too fast, took out a chunk."

"You gotta be more careful. Don't think you can be a mechanic with one arm."

Jon smiled and nodded. "You got it, Captain. Hey… this outpost we're going to… any chance of strawberries?"

Gabe opened his mouth to answer, but Andy cleared his throat.

"I think… I think I may still have some left over. They're frozen though."

Andy wasn't so bad after all.

---

As far as outposts went, this one was like the last one Pete had sent the crew to. Far enough from the Alliance to not care about its laws and governances but close enough to still get a solid supply of shipments. It wasn't extraordinarily busy, but it wasn't a ghost world either. Just an average, suburban world.

They still hid the ship behind an outcropping and floating near a ravine, just in case. William took his ship, mumbling something about having clients, finally, and that he would be back in plenty of time to leave. Travis went off, probably to find more ammunition or weaponry or whatever it was Travis liked to buy.

It was always Spencer and Gabe on these types of missions, and Gabe usually talked while Spencer listened (or not, Gabe never knew with Spencer). This was a two-day job, and the first part was always reconnaissance.

"So you and Joe are actually married," Gabe said, picking up the conversation after they stopped to get some strange fried delicacy (every world had something different-this tasted like frog legs). Gabe pulled off the skin and popped it in his mouth, licking his fingers.

Spencer made a face and took careful bites of his maybe-frog-leg-on-a-stick. "Yes, Joe and I are actually married. Although I don't see why that matters, especially on the ship."

"It doesn't. But where'd you find someone to marry you? Ain't there a law or something against two gents getting hitched?"

"Sorry sir, but… I don't think that's any of your business," Spencer replied, smiling. "But gents don't have to stay gents, and buying yourself a new identity is cheaper than ever. You should know that."

Gabe finished his frog leg in silence. Maybe William would know. If he got enough courage to ask how gents didn't stay gents. He snuck a peek at Spencer's tight fitting leather trousers.

"Cash and prizes are still all there," Spencer said, and Gabe cleared his throat, looking off into the distance.

Nearing the outskirts of town, the roads got rougher, so they rented a couple hover bikes that had seen better days but would get the job done. Spencer radioed Joe for the coordinates of the warehouse, and at the end of the conversation, Joe's voice crackled, "Come back safe, both of you. Love you."

Gabe wondered where William was right then, who he was entertaining.

They approached the shipping warehouses from a hidden point past some natural walls, and stepped off the hover bikes, stashing them. Gabe leaned against the wall to check his ammunition, and a gun materialised in Spencer's hand.

"You ever gonna tell me where you hide your stuff," Gabe said, not looking up.

"Well Captain, you're more than welcome to figure that out yourself. If you want to lose a hand or both."

Gabe smiled and winked at Spencer. "Sorry, I go for the tall, lanky types."

Spencer nodded. "Don't let him break your heart, Captain," Spencer said quietly, then hauled himself up the wall.

He was promptly shot at. He jumped backwards off the wall, landing on his feet, kicking up dust.

"Oh for the love of Buddha," Gabe said. He clicked his radio. "Travis, we're gonna need backup." He gave the coordinates.

"Ah man, Captain… women!"

Spencer laughed. "Let him have his women, Captain," he said. "It's not a human, we can figure out how to bypass it."

"But what if I feel like being a bastard?" Gabe sighed. "Enjoy your ladies, Travis."

"You're the best, Captain," Travis said, clicking off, but not before Gabe heard a few giggles.

"It might be an automatic security system," Spencer said, and continued brushing off the dust. Gabe looked around, scanning the wall. "We might need to go another way."

Gabe stood up and hauled himself up the wall. Spencer said, "Captain!" But Gabe didn't pay attention. He trained his eyes on the warehouse, and could almost see-

The shot was more intense this time, and Gabe wasn't as graceful as Spencer. He could hear the skin sizzle on his arm as he landed on his back.

"Ouch," he mumbled, and stayed on his back, staring up at Spencer.

"Lasers," Spencer said, and opened Gabe's jacket to tear the hem off his shirt and wrap it around Gabe's arm. "What in the hell were you doing?"

"Seeing if I could see where they were shooting from."

Spencer tried not to roll his eyes and helped Gabe sit up. "Let's go to another part of the warehouse, Captain," he said carefully.

Gabe got up, stretching and popping his back. "That's probably an excellent idea, Spencer." He hobbled a bit to his hover bike, but hey, everything was still working.

Spencer went first, keeping away from the walls and making his way around the warehouse. "There are guards around this way," he said when they killed the hover bikes and crouched behind some crates.

Gabe nodded. "We just can't have an easy job," he muttered. "There are only four of them."

"And the ones that are gonna come running out when we go out guns blazing," Spencer replied. "I'm thinking this is going to be a snatch and grab in the middle of the night. How many are we looking for, again?"

"Three crates, but they've got specific numbers down the side." Gabe closed one eye. "Dunno how big they are though."

"Gonna need the truck? Why can't Pete ever give us specifics?"

"It's Pete."

Spencer nodded, and stood up, walking around the crates.

"Are you outta your gorram mind," Gabe hissed, but Spencer had already knocked the guard out and was stripping him down, changing him quickly and dragging his half naked body behind the crates.

"Way to show initiative," Gabe said as Spencer licked his thumb and wiped off the kohl from under his eyes.

"What are the numbers, Captain?" Spencer asked. "And I'm less conspicuously tall."

Gabe gave him the numbers and Spencer nodded.

"Be back shortly, Captain."

---

"YOU LET HIM GO BY HIMSELF!"

"HOW IN THE GORRAM HELL WAS I GONNA FOLLOW HIM!"

"YOU'RE USUALLY A SMART MAN, CAPTAIN! YOU COULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT!"

Gabe and Joe stood nose to nose on the bridge. Well, nose to chest. Gabe was one of the tallest people on board, and if it weren't for Patrick, Joe would be one of the shortest.

"You let the love of my life go traipsing into a fucking warehouse… and now he's fucking DYING."

"He's gonna be fine. Andy's got everything-"

"Gèpì, Captain," Joe said. He shook his head. "I gotta go see how he's doing. You think I can leave you here alone for a few minutes?" He didn't wait for Gabe's answer and left the bridge.

Ryan slipped in unnoticed as Gabe sat at the controls.

"Did you see this?" Gabe said when Ryan sat in the co-pilot's seat.

"I see a lot," Ryan replied, looking out the window. "Did he get the crates?"

Gabe nodded. "Can Andy help him?"

"Spencer's in a lot of pain. He doesn't cry, though. He cries a lot in my head."

Gabe pushed a few controls, blinking.

"It's okay to cry. Sometimes it helps." Ryan hummed a bit. "Joe loves Spencer. Spencer won't die because someone loves him."

Gabe looked at Ryan. Ryan was looking at the controls, his head cocked. "You know how to fly this thing?"

"I know how to do a lot." Ryan touched the vidscreen. "Mama, we're all gonna die."

"We all die," Gabe muttered, and pushed the controls to get Serenity in the air.

---

Andy was washing the blood off his hands when Gabe came into the medical bay. "Who's got the ship?" he said. Joe was sitting next to Spencer, stroking his hand.

"Your brother," Gabe replied.

Joe looked up. "What," he said, but there wasn't any venom in his voice. "Does he know how to fly the ship?"

"He knows a lot," Andy and Gabe said at the same time. Andy gave Gabe a look, and then a nod.

"Spencer will be fine," Andy said to Joe. "Relax."

Joe sighed and nodded. "Maybe I can… maybe I should go back to the bridge," he said, not letting go of Spencer's hand.

"He's not going to go anywhere," Andy said. "When he wakes up I'll come and get you." He dried his hands and sat down. "Gabe and I will watch him."

Joe looked at Gabe. "Well, if it's anything like the last watching Gabe did, I don't know if I can trust that."

Gabe bit his lip. "I would've followed him Joe, I swear…"

"It's… it's not gonna be okay for a while Captain, but he's gonna be okay, so I guess I can count my blessings. At least for now." Joe walked out of the medical bay.

Gabe looked at Andy, and then took Joe's seat next to Spencer, watching him.

"That burn on your arm," Andy started.

"It'll be fine," Gabe replied. "Gotten worse injuries." He looked at Spencer. "Hey, doc, how can a gent… uh… become a lady without losing his cash and prizes?"

Andy raised an eyebrow. "Something you want to tell me, Captain?"

"Oh no, just something I heard about."

"As far as I know, they can't. But I didn't study a lot of homeopathic medicine in university, so I really have no idea. There are rumours of some sort of potion, but nothing really concrete." He looked at Spencer. "He does have rather feminine features, though," he said, mostly to himself.

"It got him in trouble during the war. Lonely boys, you know."

Andy frowned. "Unlucky."

Gabe looked at Andy. For all his seriousness, his inability to take a joke and his annoying smart-ass tendencies, he was a good doctor. And he had long hair, which Gabe marvelled at.

"They let you keep your hair at the university?" Gabe asked.

Andy touched his ponytail. "It's the only thing I fought about." He looked at Spencer. "Let me know if he starts waking up, I'm going to go foraging for something that doesn't have meat in it."

---

Travis stuffed his mouth full off the cornmeal pancakes Patrick had made. "They was beautiful, Captain. Boobs! You know how long it's been since I've seen boobs!" Little bits of pancake flew out of his mouth.

"That's gross," Jon said, cutting carefully into his pancake that was drenched in syrup, his other obsession. Gabe wondered if Jon was referring to Travis's food spitting or boobs. "I asked at the market about strawberries. Seems there's been some sort of harvesting issue this season." Jon sighed. "I'm glad I saved some of Andy's frozen ones."

Patrick smiled from his place at the head of the table-Gabe had let him sit there because he made pancakes. "I might have some dehydrated ones, Jon," he said. Patrick was the only one on the ship that called Jon by his first name. It didn't seem natural.

"Really!" Jon smiled and then cleared his throat. "I mean. That's great, thanks."

The doors slid open and William walked in. He looked clean, relaxed. Gabe could swear he was glowing. "Are those pancakes?" William said, gliding to the table. "I haven't had pancakes in a really long time."

"Patrick made them," Gabe said, and William smiled, sitting down next to him.

William was a very rare sight on the main ship, choosing to stay on his little hopper. Gabe felt his breath catch. He passed William the plate, and William's fingers brushed his own. Gabe swallowed.

"Xièxiè, Shepard Patrick," William said, bowing his head towards Patrick. "You are always very kind to us."

Patrick blushed, looking down at his plate. Seemed even Shepards got flustered around Companions. Not that Gabe could blame him.

The door opened again, and Gabe looked up.

"Spencer," Gabe shouted, and stood up, walking towards the door. Spencer let go of Andy's arm and clasped Gabe's tightly.

"I'm fine, Captain," Spencer said, and smiled. "Just coming to see you before going to see Joe." He looked at the table. "Pancakes?"

"Patrick," Gabe replied. "We already bought some up for Joe, so he might have saved some."

"I doubt it," Spencer replied.

Ryan came up with a plate. "You can have mine, then," he whispered, and smiled. "You're not hurting, Spencer?"

"Hell yes, I'm hurting," Spencer said, and gave a short, low laugh, wincing a tiny bit. "But I'm not going to lay around and be a bum. It's just a scratch."

Andy took Ryan's plate and thanked his younger brother. Ryan just smiled and went back to the table, taking a pancake off Travis's plate.

---

Gabe stood in front of William's door, hesitating for a moment before knocking.

"Please, come in," William called, and Gabe opened the door, slipping in.

"Uhm… it's me…" Gabe stood near the door, in case William told him to get lost.

"Have a seat, Gabriel," William said. "I'll be out in a moment."

Gabe looked for a place to sit, and chose the least slouchy sofa he could find. He looked around, and then closed his eyes. It smelled like vanilla and mint and some sort of nut Gabe didn't know the name of. And then there was sandalwood and nutmeg and Gabe didn't know if he was hungry or lonely.

When he opened his eyes again, William was standing in front of him with a tray of tea. Gabe had never seen William outside of what he usually wore, but he guessed William was just heading for bed, in his black silk trousers and matching long sleeved top, embroidered in white.

William sat down slowly, his legs folding under him. He set the tray down and poured two cups, bowing over each one. Gabe held his hand out, was going to protest, but William shook his head.

"This is my ship, these are my rules," he whispered. And then smiled.

Gabe nodded and took the cup. William took his, and waited until Gabe took the first sip before taking his own.

"What's on your mind, Gabriel?" William murmured, glancing over the edge of his cup.

"Too much," Gabe replied. William nodded. "Spencer is injured. I mean, it's not too serious, but it could've been, and now he's laid up. He's one of my best guys… the best, really. I messed up big time."

"It was a mistake. Spencer is entirely capable of taking care of himself, and he decided to go by himself. And he succeeded, even though he was injured." William continued drinking, and Gabe tried to figure out what the flavour was. It wasn't sweet, but not bitter like some teas. Tasted like home.

"Is there any way to become a woman without surgery?" Gabe blurted out.

"Yes," William said, looking up at Gabe. "It's difficult and painful, but…" He paused. "There are some drugs that have been distilled from… well. In Earth that Was, there were some animals that could change sex spontaneously in some conditions, like drought or something like that. So, there is a serum that… I'm not a doctor, but the serum changes you. I'm assuming it was manufactured during a time of distress, when the female population was very low."

William set down his cup and took Gabe's out of his hands. He rubbed Gabe's hands, his hair falling in his face.

"Where can you find something like that?" Gabe's hands went nearly limp in William's fingers, and he could barely suppress a sigh.

"Are you planning on becoming a woman, Gabriel?" William asked with a smile. "You don't really have the features."

"No… but I think Spencer might have done something like that so he and Joe could get hitched legally."

William smiled. "Yes. Yes he did. He asked me the same questions you're asking now. I happen to have some myself. Sometimes I have clients that enjoy being with a woman in bed, but prefer male Companionship."

Gabe looked at William. "I'd prefer you anywhere," he whispered, and told himself that he was very stupid to be doing what he was about to do, but did it anyway.

William's lips were as soft as they looked, and his hip fit so perfectly under Gabe's hand that he cursed himself for taking so long. William's hand rested against Gabe's chest, but instead of pushing him away, moved downward.

They pulled away, and William touched his lips. "It's polite to ask," he whispered, but leaned forward and kissed Gabe again, slipping into his lap.

Gabe fiddled with the ridiculous not-buttons on William's shirt, his fingers sliding against the silk. William pulled away, taking Gabe's fingers off and undoing his top slowly, letting the silk fall away and kissing Gabe again.
Gabe grasped William's sides as they kissed. William was so slim and fragile, but the way his muscles moved under Gabe's fingers belied how strong William actually was. Gabe pulled away and looked up at William.

"Don't push me away now," Gabe pleaded.

"Please, no," William murmured, and stood up, pulling Gabe easily to his feet. "Come with me," he said, and Gabe stumbled after William, his hand clasping William's.

---

Ryan sat in the bridge, reading a book Patrick had given him. He looked up and cocked his head.

"What's sex like?" he asked Joe.

Joe nearly spat water over his controls, but swallowed painfully, coughing because it burned. "Uhm… wow. I'm not really sure how to answer that question, Ryan."

"Oh, okay," Ryan replied. "I'm thinking it must be nice."

Joe smiled. "It can be. What am I saying? It is! But… only when both people are enjoying it."

"I don't think my brother really enjoys sex."

Joe shook his head. "I don't think your brother really enjoys anything."

Ryan looked back at the book. He could hear Gabe and William whispering, and hoped they were enjoying themselves.

Serenity glided through the stillness of the stars.

A sleek black ship followed it.

---

Patrick unfolded the vidscreen from his bag, and opened it, tapping in his code.

"I've been getting a signal again," he said into the blankness. "Can't get a reading on it, but it's been following us for a good twenty clicks. Sigma Sigma Delta four, over and out."

He closed the vidscreen and left his room, wondering what had heard him that time.

---

The ship was quiet except for the humming of the engine and Spencer's laboured breathing.

A door, surprised at its instructions, opened and closed with barely a sigh.

The hardest part is letting go of your dreams.

---

Gabe woke up, his legs tangled in William's. William's eyes were opened, and he was looking at Gabe. "What time is it?" Gabe mumbled, but made no move to actually move.

William stroked Gabe's hip and smiled. "It's still night," William whispered. "Well, time wise. It's always night in space."

Gabe leaned closer and kissed William. William opened his mouth to Gabe, holding him as close as he could.

Gabe pulled away and tucked himself into William's arms.

"We shoulda done this a long time ago, William," Gabe mumbled.

"No we shouldn't have. Good things come to those who wait."

William felt the ghost of a laugh against his collarbone. "Patience isn't something I'm fond of," Gabe mumbled. But his eyes were closing again. It had been a long time since he had such a nice sleep.

---

It took a while for anyone to notice Ryan was gone. He was good at hiding, and Serenity was good at hiding him.

Spencer had taken to hobbling around the ship, resting when needed. He was still bandaged up, and Andy advised him not to do much more than walking in case he disturbed the injuries. Spencer waved him off, but he sat a lot more than usual.

"Anyone seen Ryan?" Jon asked as he came into the common room to get something to eat. He looked sceptically at the pressed fruit sheet before tearing off a perforated chunk. "Man, it's gonna be good to have some cash floating around to buy less disgusting food."

"I haven't," Spencer said, shifting to get comfortable in his chair. "But I think he shows himself when he wants to be seen." He smiled at Jon. "So don't worry 'bout it."

Jon shrugged. "Well, let him know I've been looking for him."

Spencer nodded, and shifted again. When Jon left, Spencer thought about it for a minute. Ryan liked Jon-everybody did-and if Jon couldn't find him…

He hobbled away to find Patrick.

---

By that evening, everyone was a little bit more worried.

They ran through all the normal hiding places, and the not so normal ones, and the ones that weren't technically supposed to exist on a legitimate ship like Serenity. William even looked on his ship.

"There's a ship that has been following us for the past two days," Patrick said.

"Oh and this wasn't important two days ago," Gabe said. "Everybody on this ship is fired."

"Technically, we're not actually working for you. We're just passengers. Well. Some of us." Patrick raised an eyebrow. "I couldn't compromise my intelligence."

"What? Shepards don't have intelligence, cái guài," Gabe mumbled.

"Shepards aren't born Shepards," Patrick replied. "Sometimes we even keep our old jobs. And this is my old job now."

Gabe sat back. The ship was full of secrets, and it was in his usual policy not to ask questions, but this was almost getting crazy. "So what's the black ship doing following us?"

"I don't really know," Patrick said. "It's emitting a signal, but it's not one I recognise, or my superiors. It might be Alliance, but it also just might be an unsigned ship owned by a rich bastard who had nothing better to do than follow around Fireflies looking for bounty."

"Well, he found it if he's got Ryan," Gabe said, tipping his chair back.

"Who is he?" Spencer asked.

Patrick shrugged. "I'm waiting on a transmission from my superiors, and I guess we'll go from there."

"You know how to handle a gun, Patrick?"

"Are you still a Browncoat?"

Gabe smiled. Patrick would do fine.

---

Ryan wasn't exactly scared. The ship was comfortable, and he wasn't chained down or locked in some chair with electrodes coming out of his head. But he was alone in a room on a ship that he didn't know, and wasn't speaking to him.

In fact, nobody was speaking to him. He couldn't hear anyone on the crew. He couldn't hear anyone expressing worry or having an orgasm or crying or laughing. So all in his head was silence.

He hummed a bit, and wandered around his space. He found a sheet of paper and a pen, sitting down and drawing a little grid. He filled it in with random numbers.

"Two by two, hands of blue. Three by three, set us free. Four by four, nevermore."

"There is never less than there is enough," a voice answered him, and Ryan didn't look up from the paper.

"There is nothing we can't see. There is nothing we can't hear. There is nothing we can't do."

"Mama, we all go to hell," it answered again. It wasn't coming from anywhere. Maybe from Ryan's imagination.

"It's really quite pleasant, except for the smell."

"Ryan, can you hear me?"

Ryan nodded. "You don't make sense, you aren't plausible, and yet, here you are."

"Well, here I am."

A door opened, and Ryan got up and walked out.

---

"His name is Brendon Urie, and you're probably not going to believe this."

"At this point, I'm willing to believe anything," Gabe replied.

"He's an Academy boy as well." Patrick paused. "He's like Ryan, in a way."

Andy frowned. "Ryan told me that he had died."

"Wait… Ryan knows his kidnapper," Gabe said.

Patrick shook his head. "Impossible, if the Academy works like it's rumoured to work. Probably Ryan… sensed his death." Patrick frowned. "So if Urie is actually dead, then this is just someone impersonating him."

"Unless the Alliance just stated he was dead. It says he's dead on his identity card, but then it's saying that Spencer is dead on his."

Spencer snorted. "More like somebody in my nice leather pants that I never got back," he mumbled to himself.

"Stuff it Spencer. You have about eighty pairs."

"I liked those!"

Patrick sighed. He touched the side of his face, rubbing his temple. "So Brendon. Or not, whatever. He's going to be crazy like Ryan."

"My brother is not crazy!"

"Okay, Andy, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but when someone strips your amygdala, you're going to be crazy," Patrick said. "So, Brendon is able, we think, to read minds and predict the future."

"And probably kill us all with his brain," Gabe said.

"That too," Patrick replied.

"I was kidding."

Patrick tapped his portable vidscreen. "I wasn't."

---

"You're dead."

Brendon shrugged, sitting at the table. "Death is one way of escaping the Academy."

Ryan frowned. Brendon was blank. His mind was blank; his voice was blank. But he could feel Brendon, inside his mind, looking around his memories, picking up and putting down his emotions, almost like he was in a store.

"Quit it!"

Brendon stopped. Ryan's head stopped hurting.

"You're not taking me back to Academy."

"I don't know," Brendon said. "I don't know what I'm going to do. You do, though."

"No I don't. I can't." Ryan took another sheet of paper, another pen, and sat down. He drew the grid again.

"You're dead," Ryan said again.

"Would it make you feel better if I were?" Brendon asked, watching Ryan filling in numbers again.

"I saw you, on the table, dying. You were screaming for your mother."

"Mama!" Brendon took a deep breath. "Maybe. Maybe that's the last thing you saw before you killed that man. Maybe you just don't remember."

"How'd you get out?"

"My mother saved me."

Ryan stopped scribbling in the numbers, and looked up at Brendon. "You're dead."

"I'm invincible."

---

"So what exactly are we dealing with?" Gabe looked over Patrick's portable vidscreen, half wondering where he could get his own; they were damned handy.

"Okay, so the story with the Academy is that they took precocious, super intelligent children and took them to an Alliance-run medical facility to run tests on them and manipulate their emotions and train them to become emotionless and ruthless. One way of doing this was to remove the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls emotion and spontaneous action." Patrick paused. "Then they pumped their brain full of hormones and put weapons in their hands-"

Andy held up a hand. "Please…this is my baby brother."

"Brendon was in one of the first batch of students, like Ryan."

Spencer put his hand on Andy's back.

"The 'official' report of his death stated suicide, but according to the account of his death I got from my inside sources, something went wrong in surgery and he reportedly died on the table." Patrick stopped.

"So… you're saying that both Brendon and Ryan are like this?"

"I'm saying that Brendon is probably worse."

---

"I love the Black," Brendon said as they ate. "It swallows everyone whole and spits them out different." He cut into his steak.

Ryan, who hadn't had steak in who knew how long, watched Brendon before cutting into his own. "Spits them out alone and cold and crazy."

"Much like us," Brendon said, pointing his fork at Ryan and jabbing it into the air.

"I'm not crazy."

Brendon nodded. "Yes you are. Or maybe, because I say I'm crazy, I'm not." He popped another bit of steak in his mouth, and chewed. "What did they tell you about 'Earth that Was'?"

"That it had gotten overpopulated and was dying, and so humans, to save their species, began terra-forming other planets, creating other worlds."

"We are used to people lying to us," Brendon said. "You know, I'm very good at playing the piano."

Ryan set down his fork and knife, nodding. "You know, my friends are going to come on this ship and they are going to kill you."

"That's very possible. Would you like to hear me play the piano?"

Ryan nodded, and they left together.

---

It was late, and they were all still huddled around the table. The ship hummed around them, and Gabe tried to keep his mind off the night before, when William lay against his chest, when he pressed his thighs against Gabe's sides, when he moaned Gabe's name…

Andy was saying something. "-What does he want with my brother?" he said, tapping the vidscreen, staring at Brendon's identity card.

"Maybe he just wants company," Gabe said. "He's supposedly dead, as far as we know there's nobody else on the ship, and Ryan is the only person who has a panda's chance in the desert of understanding him. We all get lonely."

"There is that chance," Patrick said. "And that's surprisingly perceptive of you, Captain."

"Well, I am layered like an onion," Gabe replied.

"But then again, he is missing a part of his brain. He may not be thinking rationally. Or, he may get tired of Ryan's company and that is dangerous for Ryan."

Gabe nodded. "So, do we just want Ryan back or are we killing this Urie character as well?"

"I'd like to meet Brendon," Andy said, coming back from his silence. "Maybe… maybe I can understand why my brother acts the way he does."

"Your brother and Brendon are two very different people," Patrick said. "Brendon's been alone in the Black for…" He looked at the vidscreen. "Two years now. Completely, utterly alone."

"Surprised he hasn't become a Reaver yet," Gabe said.

"We don't know that he hasn't."

Gabe took a breath. "Then we gotta get on that ship and rescue our baby brother Ryan."

---

Brendon had forgotten how to sleep, so seeing Ryan curled up in the bed in his room made him… not so much tired as closed off. One more thing he couldn't do, one more thing that made him less human.

"But you aren't human," the voice said. Brendon never knew where the voice came from, but he listened to it all the same.

"But I move the same as he does. I sit like him and we talk the same and he knows me. He loves me."

"Nobody loves you, Brendon," the voice admonished. "There's no such thing as love, you know that."

"I am capable of love."

"No you are not. Only humans are. Bring him back, and we will make him like you, so you might have a friend."

"If I come back, you'll strap me down again."

"We might."

Brendon closed his mind again. He sat on the edge of Ryan's bed.

Ryan sat up and grabbed Brendon's neck, squeezing. Brendon didn't move, just stared at Ryan while Ryan's thumb pressed against his larynx. He calculated how long it would take for Ryan to kill him. Probably not long if he pressed harder.

Brendon imagined gasping, begging for Ryan to let go. He imagined brain cells dying, Ryan's thumbprint bruising, staying on his throat as an ugly yellowing mark forever. He wondered if Ryan would toss him out of the ship, or maybe seal him off in the room and leave the ship for others to find.

They both knew Brendon could get out of the grip, and kill Ryan. So Brendon just waited. He knew Ryan would let go.

Ryan let go and sat back on the bed. He looked at Brendon, and then tilted his head.

"You're taking me back to the Academy."

"Yes, I am."

Ryan lay back down. "Don't leave me alone," he said, turning his back towards the wall.

Brendon slipped under the covers, and put his hand on Ryan's hip. Ryan curled against Brendon's chest. Brendon didn't move, but after a few moments relaxed against Ryan. His hand splayed against Ryan's back.

He still didn't sleep, but he wanted to remember.
---

It was easy getting on the ship, and Gabe was struck by how eerily silent it was. It was an expensive ship, done out in some sort of translucent plastic and white, and everything was automatic. There was no bridge, and no pilot, just a room with some wide screens, lighting up and flickering with a trajectory.

"They're going back to the Academy," Patrick whispered.

"Wouldn't that mean that Brendon would be recaptured," Gabe whispered in return.

"Yes," Andy said, and frowned. "And if they wanted to say he was dead…"

"The Alliance doesn't like to fail," Patrick murmured, his eyes flicking over each screen, seemingly reading each one quickly. He touched the screen on one.

"Shepard Patrick Martin Stump," a computerised voice said. "Sigma Sigma Delta Four." Patrick stepped back as the computer began scrolling through a giant list of numbers. If Gabe squinted, he could see names.

"What the gorram hell is that," Gabe hissed.

"How many people I've killed," Patrick replied. He looked back at Gabe. "I told you, sometimes Shepards have old jobs."

Gabe nodded. "Yes, because an assassin becoming a Shepard makes so much sense."

Patrick cleared his throat. "Woe, for the wages of sin are death, but the gift of God is eternal life."

Gabe nodded. "Didn't we have this agreement that you don't preach, I don't listen?"

Patrick touched the screen again, and typed in some numbers. The schematics of the ship came up. "Ryan is probably sleeping in one of these rooms," he said. "And I wasn't preaching, just stating a reason some assassins change their mind." He pulled out his gun, slipping it off safety.

Andy looked away. "Maybe we can save them both."

"Or maybe they'll both die," Gabe said as they left the room, the screens blinking off.

---

Ryan was sleeping when they found them. Brendon was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the three of them.

"I'm glad my ship let you in with no problems," Brendon said. "Ryan is sleeping now. I am supposed to take him back to the Academy, but you are here to stop me."

Gabe took a step back. He could deal with Ryan, but this kid was on a whole other level of weird. Brendon sat, patiently, not grabbing for Ryan and threatening to kill him. In fact, Ryan didn't even wake up when Brendon started talking. Something wasn't clicking right in Gabe's head. In fact, nothing was clicking right in Gabe's head. He needed a vacation.

Andy nodded. "I'm not going to let you take my brother back to the Academy. You shouldn't go back either."

Brendon smiled. "I have nowhere else to go. I could stay on this ship, and play my piano. I'm very good at the piano, you know?"

Patrick took a step closer, and then one more step closer. "What has he been telling you?"

Brendon looked at Patrick. "You know, I died once. And mama brought me back."

Patrick took one more step. "Who is your mother, Brendon?"

"I do not know. I've never seen her." Brendon still didn't move, but something in Gabe's head started buzzing.

"Uh, Patrick…"

Patrick obviously felt it too, since he touched his temple. "Stop it, Brendon. We're not going to hurt you."

Andy leaned against the wall, holding his head. Gabe clenched his jaw.

Patrick touched his temple once more. "Brendon, stop it."

"I'm sorry, I'm only doing what I'm told to do."

Patrick stepped closer, and then collapsed.

Andy went down a few seconds afterwards, and then Gabe fumbled for his gun.

"Ah, hell," he muttered, and went down as well.

Ryan woke up.

---

"They'll wake up in a few moments," Brendon said. "I didn't kill them, just hurt them."

"Why would you do that?" Ryan said, slipping out of the bed and touching each of them.

Gabe's mind was scattered like tea leaves in a reading, Andy's stretched out like the taffy their mother would make on summer days back home. Patrick's was blank, but it sounded like bells being struck over and over and over.

"He told me to." Brendon stood up and went to touch Ryan. "Please… don't be angry. I didn't want to hurt them." He touched Ryan's face, his neck.

Ryan looked at Brendon. "I am capable of love."

Ryan kissed him, though he didn't know why.

---

Someone was playing the piano when Gabe woke up. The room was still plastic and white, which Gabe found cheering. No dungeons on this ship, at least.

They weren't chained to a wall, there was a screen set into a wall showing some television show that none of them recognised. Patrick was sitting in a chair at the table.

"You know, this kid has a messed up idea of prisoner," Gabe said, rubbing his head.

"He knows he can kill us with his brain, as you put it," Andy said. "So he's not terribly frightened of us."

"He believes he's immortal, and sent on a special mission," Patrick said. "He gets told what to do, given incredible amounts of wealth and then gets sent on his way."

"God complex," Gabe said. "So uh… how are we going to stop him from carrying out his mission?"

"We don't. We sit here and wait for Ryan to kill him." Patrick looked up from his vidscreen. "Unless you have telepathic powers you're not telling us about."

"How do we know Ryan is going to kill him?" Andy said, taking a seat at the table as well.

"We don't know that either," Patrick said. "We might just be going back to the Academy. Where they will kill us."

Gabe sat down. "Maybe we'll get fed before then. Incredible amounts of wealth means good food."

---

Ryan could play the piano as well, so Brendon would just sit and watch him. Brendon couldn't recognise any of what Ryan was playing, but after he was finished, Brendon would copy him, note for note. They would pass hours that way, playing the same song twice.

Sometimes they would talk between songs, sometimes not. Sometimes Brendon would read out loud to Ryan.

Ryan thought about that first kiss as they sat together on the couch. Brendon had pressed back, but then pulled away and walked out of the room.

Ryan tried kissing Brendon again, and Brendon dropped the book to hold onto him, pressing against Ryan and splaying his hands on Ryan's back once more.

(Neither of them were very good kissers, but neither of them really knew the difference.)

Ryan was free to go around the ship as he pleased, but he never stayed away for too long. It was too quiet. He couldn't even hear Andy and the others, although he was sure they were still on the ship. So he usually stayed near Brendon, because even though he was quiet, it meant that Ryan wasn't alone.

He knew Brendon wasn't sleeping, was watching him as he did, but somehow it didn't bother Ryan.

It made him feel protected, safe.

---

Another two days and they would be there. Another two days and they would be dead, or cut up, or whatever the Academy planned on doing to them.

"At least we'll die with a full stomach," Gabe pointed out. "Our last thoughts won't be 'Damn, I'm hungry'."

Andy snorted. "Wow, I feel so much better about my impending doom," he mumbled, touching the vidscreen on the wall to change the channel again. It was some crazy advertisement half in Chinese, half in English, for some energy drink. Or something. Andy was never sure.

Gabe sighed. "I wonder if we'd even know if Ryan killed him."

"Well, we'll know in about two days," Patrick said, tapping forlornly at his vidscreen, which might have saved them, had it worked. But of course it didn't work. Why would anything actually work for them anyway?

Gabe took another drink, and pushed another spoonful of soup into his mouth.

"Sometimes the heroes lose," he said.

"It's our turn, then," Patrick replied, leaning back. "That soup any good?"

---

Ryan held Brendon's hand and stroked his face, leaning down to kiss him again.

"Sometimes I feel tired," Brendon whispered against Ryan's lips. "And then sometimes I feel like I've been sleeping for my whole life. I don't know what to believe anymore. Faith is overrated."

Ryan didn't say anything, still stroking Brendon's face.

"I don't want to believe in anything," Brendon continued, as if Ryan had asked a question. He squeezed Ryan's hand. "I just want to know. The whole world is mine. Sometimes I wonder if I didn't dream it, and it's exactly like it is because I wanted it to be like this."

Ryan couldn't answer him, wouldn't want to anyway.

"Ryan, I want to sleep." Brendon put Ryan's hand against his chest. "Let me sleep. Sing me a song."

Ryan shifted, tilting his head. "Hush little baby, don't say a word," he whispered, his hand splayed against Brendon's chest. "Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don't sing, mama's gonna buy you…"

He pressed harder against Brendon's chest, but Brendon didn't struggle. Only his mind fought back, only for a little bit.

Brendon's hand curled into a fist, and he smiled.

It wasn't long until the blood gurgled out of Brendon's mouth, until he stopped breathing.

His hand relaxed.

His eyes were still open.

---

The door to their room opened, and Gabe grabbed for the gun that wasn't in his holster.

Ryan stood in the doorway. "We're damned after all," he said, and then turned back, leaving the door open.

Patrick got up first, and the rest filed out, quiet.

---

Docking the ship was no problem, and Travis was standing in the bay when they filed in, Andy with his arm around Ryan.

"Hey, you're back," Travis said, but his smile faded when Patrick came him, holding Brendon's limp body. "Oh… oh."

Patrick cleared his throat. "Is there a box big enough for him?"

"He ain't much bigger than Ryan," Travis said. "We still got the box he came in."

Patrick nodded, and Travis went to find it.

---

Gabe found Ryan in the bay, sitting next to the box that held Brendon's body. "Nihau ma," he said, sitting down next to him.

"Sleeping is such a strange thing," Ryan said, his fingers running along the grain. "We close our eyes, lose consciousness, hallucinate vividly, and some of us have amnesia about the whole experience when we open our eyes."

Gabe nodded. "What do you dream about, Ryan?"

"I don't dream. I can't." He looked at Gabe. "But your dreams are enough for me."

Gabe put his arm around Ryan's shoulder, and Ryan leaned his head against Gabe's chest, closing his eyes.