Snape's Reflections on the Manifestations of Father: a drabble
Title: Reflections on the Manifestations of Father
Characters: Severus Snape (with mentions of Tobias Snape, Voldemort, & Dumbledore)
Word Count: 267
Rating: PG
Warnings: Un-beta'd; Angsty
Author's Notes: Post-HBP, Snape reflects on what Dumbledore means to him; written because Information Structures was way too interesting...
My life had been the awaiting of you and now you're gone.
If I could bring myself to desire, I would believe that I deserved you. However, my first father taught me br. that thought. To want is weak. Desire shameful. To take is all and if it cries, shame it.
My second father was someone I thought would be like you. He offered such promises as dreams are made on. Desire and want now riches. Take, of course, but desire and want what you take. He offered such seeming love and I let myself believe in the glittering facade. Gave myself to him and his beliefs. Became drunk on such low-voiced promises that had hitherto been denied me. Believed I was his and he was mine. Oh, yes, he taught me what it is to take. He took everything and gave nothing. If it cries shame it, indeed.
Then came my salvation. You. When I had nowhere to else to go and no one else to, there was you. The only wizard he ever feared. My last hope. I came to you with nothing but the clothes on my back and the screams of sorrows in my head. I came to you and you saved me. I came to you and you had showed me what it was to love and be loved. The definition of "unconditional." What it was like and what it was to feel that I was also allowed a part of it. I came to you and you met me halfway.
You were my father.
And now you're gone.
And I want to rage at you. For leaving me alone. For being like them in the end. Forcing my hand. Making me love you. Making me help you leave me alone.
Characters: Severus Snape (with mentions of Tobias Snape, Voldemort, & Dumbledore)
Word Count: 267
Rating: PG
Warnings: Un-beta'd; Angsty
Author's Notes: Post-HBP, Snape reflects on what Dumbledore means to him; written because Information Structures was way too interesting...
My life had been the awaiting of you and now you're gone.
If I could bring myself to desire, I would believe that I deserved you. However, my first father taught me br. that thought. To want is weak. Desire shameful. To take is all and if it cries, shame it.
My second father was someone I thought would be like you. He offered such promises as dreams are made on. Desire and want now riches. Take, of course, but desire and want what you take. He offered such seeming love and I let myself believe in the glittering facade. Gave myself to him and his beliefs. Became drunk on such low-voiced promises that had hitherto been denied me. Believed I was his and he was mine. Oh, yes, he taught me what it is to take. He took everything and gave nothing. If it cries shame it, indeed.
Then came my salvation. You. When I had nowhere to else to go and no one else to, there was you. The only wizard he ever feared. My last hope. I came to you with nothing but the clothes on my back and the screams of sorrows in my head. I came to you and you saved me. I came to you and you had showed me what it was to love and be loved. The definition of "unconditional." What it was like and what it was to feel that I was also allowed a part of it. I came to you and you met me halfway.
You were my father.
And now you're gone.
And I want to rage at you. For leaving me alone. For being like them in the end. Forcing my hand. Making me love you. Making me help you leave me alone.