clarity
sorry about the previous post (on the 18th), it was quite scattered.
last night i went out for dinner and drinks with a friend (she paid, bless her) and i told her honestly about my life. in her company i managed to eat/keep down food and even laugh. it was tonic for the soul when i was beginning to question my character. time flew and we didnt get home til about 1.30am. im still not sleeping though and gave up at 7.30am. she asked me some hard questions and helped me truly look at myself.
THANK YOU. im glad you enjoyed yourself too and it wasn't just me being self-indulgent. ~hugs~
toby txt me last night, she is in town with her new squeeze and unfortunately her plane was delayed so we didnt get to catch up. im really disappointed as it would have been great to catch up. she sounds really happy which is awesome to hear. she asked me how my love life was and i told her it was newly non-existant. she immediately admonished me for not calling her to debrief.
i may have lost a wonderful partner, but once again ive realised that i do have a support network that stretches near and far. i am not alone and i thank you all. i was close to losing it, but didnt through determination and your help. i know who i am. i AM a good person. my motives were pure. and as my friend last night pointed out, this break up could be a blessing in disguise.
i might try and put my motor in neutral for a while though.
maybe one day in a couple of years time i will find someone whose singular pupose in life matches mine. but for now, i dont want to know.
***
my aunt is doing well (actually she sounded a bit defeated, but thats to be expected). apparently this has been coming for a couple of months and neither of them could find the energy to bridge the widening gap. she has been coming to terms with it and has the support of her sisters and mother. and of course her sons and her favourite "nephew". grin
last night i went out for dinner and drinks with a friend (she paid, bless her) and i told her honestly about my life. in her company i managed to eat/keep down food and even laugh. it was tonic for the soul when i was beginning to question my character. time flew and we didnt get home til about 1.30am. im still not sleeping though and gave up at 7.30am. she asked me some hard questions and helped me truly look at myself.
THANK YOU. im glad you enjoyed yourself too and it wasn't just me being self-indulgent. ~hugs~
toby txt me last night, she is in town with her new squeeze and unfortunately her plane was delayed so we didnt get to catch up. im really disappointed as it would have been great to catch up. she sounds really happy which is awesome to hear. she asked me how my love life was and i told her it was newly non-existant. she immediately admonished me for not calling her to debrief.
i may have lost a wonderful partner, but once again ive realised that i do have a support network that stretches near and far. i am not alone and i thank you all. i was close to losing it, but didnt through determination and your help. i know who i am. i AM a good person. my motives were pure. and as my friend last night pointed out, this break up could be a blessing in disguise.
i might try and put my motor in neutral for a while though.
maybe one day in a couple of years time i will find someone whose singular pupose in life matches mine. but for now, i dont want to know.
***
my aunt is doing well (actually she sounded a bit defeated, but thats to be expected). apparently this has been coming for a couple of months and neither of them could find the energy to bridge the widening gap. she has been coming to terms with it and has the support of her sisters and mother. and of course her sons and her favourite "nephew". grin