nostalgia (caution: emo)
I just saw the setlist for the first re-appearance of the Smashing Pumpkins. It brought back memories of listening to a lot of those songs on repeat through the first couple years of college when I was missing Ryan. Those were bittersweet times. I kind of miss the independence and loneliness I felt then. I don't know why - my life now is great. But I guess sometimes I feel like I'm on autopilot, or I don't process things as much as I should, because things go smoothly and I don't have to put a lot of effort into them. I feel like I've gotten shallower. I don't know if it's a function of aging and being less melodramatic, or just that there's not a present need to wallow in melancholia very often. Or maybe I'm just usually too tired from running around all day to reflect on such trivialities as emotion.