to bed or not to bed
so i sit here, contemplating whether or not my bed is calling me. is it because of this terrible sickness i have aquired, or because i need to wake up in only a few hours, well more like 8 hours, for a class. a class which i must sit through and listen to a 65 year old man tell me how to teach. how can he tell me how to teach. he should tell me how to prepare myself for death. he's dying. wait. aren't we all. now that sleep has evacuated my mind, death presumes it's place. what a strange word. death. kinda scary. i know i can say how much i wish i could die some days, just to get away from the shit that happens in life, but to actually die. to be dead. death. scary. i want to say i like death, yet at the same time, my brain is screaming,
YOU
FOOL!
i am a fool. i contemplate sleep when i know i should be sleeping. i contemplate death when i know i should celebrate life. life in this wonderfully fucked up world. isn't that awesome. fantabulous as some would say. like my roomate. ha, i admire her. her strength to not contemplate death. fantabulous.
i once heard this song, actually i only wish i heard a song. a song that could stick in my myelinating mind, right in the middle of my frontal cortex and just forever dwell. kind of like death.
i have a friend. an awesome friend at that. imagine seeing this person every day for a certain number of days. knowing who he is yet never really knowing. never wanting to know. scared some would say, others would say a fuckup. i would say wonderful. isn't it thought. seeing people, never knowing them for all they can be because you think before you know. don't we all. we all think before we know, before we even care to know. that's why death would be so wonderful. if we could all die, we could all know each other after death. and i mean know. we wouldn't even necessarily care, but we would know.
well this friend. he would know. for some strange reason i feel as if he knows alot. alot more than me, which is another fantabulous thing. for all those days that i did not feel or even care to know him, i know now, that he knows.
i just thought of how weird the word know is as well. death. know.
KNOW DEATH
YOU
FOOL!
i am a fool. i contemplate sleep when i know i should be sleeping. i contemplate death when i know i should celebrate life. life in this wonderfully fucked up world. isn't that awesome. fantabulous as some would say. like my roomate. ha, i admire her. her strength to not contemplate death. fantabulous.
i once heard this song, actually i only wish i heard a song. a song that could stick in my myelinating mind, right in the middle of my frontal cortex and just forever dwell. kind of like death.
i have a friend. an awesome friend at that. imagine seeing this person every day for a certain number of days. knowing who he is yet never really knowing. never wanting to know. scared some would say, others would say a fuckup. i would say wonderful. isn't it thought. seeing people, never knowing them for all they can be because you think before you know. don't we all. we all think before we know, before we even care to know. that's why death would be so wonderful. if we could all die, we could all know each other after death. and i mean know. we wouldn't even necessarily care, but we would know.
well this friend. he would know. for some strange reason i feel as if he knows alot. alot more than me, which is another fantabulous thing. for all those days that i did not feel or even care to know him, i know now, that he knows.
i just thought of how weird the word know is as well. death. know.
KNOW DEATH