(no subject)
goodmorning
i have 10 minutes till my first class of the day starts. 10 whole minutes. do you know what i could write it 10 minutes. so much stuff. my weekend was relaxing, yet at the same time boring. saturday night my friend ryan and i thought it would be fun if we smoked a whole pack. so we did, not at all once, but through a period of three hours. how crazy we are! ha
so i was reading in someone's journal once, how they thought that in order to be a good friend you have to be able to be alone at times. then i questioned myself. am i able to do that? am i sometimes too overbearing? do you want to hang out with me? do you even miss me? questions like this, and i cannot get them out of my head, no matter how many times, the people i think are my friends tell me that they love me. i love you they say, but the next day when i have no homework and know that they don't either, they don't want to be around me, but i love you. fuck i love you.
i hate you is what they are really thinking. i hate you because you are you. you are friendly. you are fun. you are loud but you know how to be quiet. you are sensitive and emotional. you care. you listen. you love. i hate you.
so me, what do i do when i know that is exactly what they are thinking. the thoughts that are precisely running trough their heads. smile because i know i love them and i know they love me
i have 10 minutes till my first class of the day starts. 10 whole minutes. do you know what i could write it 10 minutes. so much stuff. my weekend was relaxing, yet at the same time boring. saturday night my friend ryan and i thought it would be fun if we smoked a whole pack. so we did, not at all once, but through a period of three hours. how crazy we are! ha
so i was reading in someone's journal once, how they thought that in order to be a good friend you have to be able to be alone at times. then i questioned myself. am i able to do that? am i sometimes too overbearing? do you want to hang out with me? do you even miss me? questions like this, and i cannot get them out of my head, no matter how many times, the people i think are my friends tell me that they love me. i love you they say, but the next day when i have no homework and know that they don't either, they don't want to be around me, but i love you. fuck i love you.
i hate you is what they are really thinking. i hate you because you are you. you are friendly. you are fun. you are loud but you know how to be quiet. you are sensitive and emotional. you care. you listen. you love. i hate you.
so me, what do i do when i know that is exactly what they are thinking. the thoughts that are precisely running trough their heads. smile because i know i love them and i know they love me