038
[Marked Private // Hackable with some patience]
Still no word nor sign from Father. I fear the worst, although I hope against all hope that my fears will not be confirmed. It is like him, after all, to disappear on occasion, and he may only be hiding from the world, even from me. I wish he would not; I hate to think of himself, all alone, with not a single soul for company. Mrs. Lovett's disappearance was especially hard on him, I know, and if it has driven him once again to madness, he will be a long time in recovering.
I would give anything at all to see him happy, healthy. To see him smile, without pain in his eyes. To hear him laugh, without the taint of madness in his tone. I know it is foolish thing to dream of, for he has little about which to smile, and even less about which to laugh.
Some time ago, I promised Gaz that I would keep Dib from killing Zim. I thought that, perhaps, I would do it myself, if necessary, to keep my promise. I do not think I realized until now the price one must pay to exact revenge.
Father once admitted to me that before he killed Turpin, he had killed others, as a sort of practice for the moment he would lay the blade to Turpin's throat. At the time, I thought nothing of it. But it hurt Father to do so, more than I think he is aware that it did. As much as I love Father, I do not wish to become like him, nor I wish Dib to become like him, either.
When all is said and done, when this war is over, I will not be returning home. I could not go back, knowing all that I do about other worlds. I cannot go back to Anthony, especially when my heart belongs elsewhere.
[/Private]
[ooc: Icon reads as 'Working' until hacked.]
Still no word nor sign from Father. I fear the worst, although I hope against all hope that my fears will not be confirmed. It is like him, after all, to disappear on occasion, and he may only be hiding from the world, even from me. I wish he would not; I hate to think of himself, all alone, with not a single soul for company. Mrs. Lovett's disappearance was especially hard on him, I know, and if it has driven him once again to madness, he will be a long time in recovering.
I would give anything at all to see him happy, healthy. To see him smile, without pain in his eyes. To hear him laugh, without the taint of madness in his tone. I know it is foolish thing to dream of, for he has little about which to smile, and even less about which to laugh.
Some time ago, I promised Gaz that I would keep Dib from killing Zim. I thought that, perhaps, I would do it myself, if necessary, to keep my promise. I do not think I realized until now the price one must pay to exact revenge.
Father once admitted to me that before he killed Turpin, he had killed others, as a sort of practice for the moment he would lay the blade to Turpin's throat. At the time, I thought nothing of it. But it hurt Father to do so, more than I think he is aware that it did. As much as I love Father, I do not wish to become like him, nor I wish Dib to become like him, either.
When all is said and done, when this war is over, I will not be returning home. I could not go back, knowing all that I do about other worlds. I cannot go back to Anthony, especially when my heart belongs elsewhere.
[/Private]
[ooc: Icon reads as 'Working' until hacked.]