Wildlife
I was just lying here in bed, light off, roaming the internet in preparation for going to sleep, when a gigantic spider scurries across the screen, effectively setting in motion a chain of events that nearly gave me a heart attack.
Faster than I've ever moved before, I sat up, wrenched the blanket from my body, and scrambled/leapt off the foot of the bed, running to the light switch to turn it on. I looked back at the bed and there it was: A pale, kind of beige color, and way bigger than your typical house spider in Michigan.
"Frak me," I said.
I opened my door and grabbed some tissue with the intent of squishing it and it was just sitting on the bed, taunting me, daring me to come and get it. And, of course, I froze, and found myself unable to move because it was really big and what if it bit me through the tissue or touched me or something? I moved closer and it ran underneath the bedding and frak, that was so no cool.
The phone rang (because Malaysians have no sense of time and calling at 11:45 at night isn't considered bad timing) and Alice came out, and I'm just perched in the middle of my room, clutching three tissues in my hand, semi-hyperventilating and, yes, crying. Crying because I didn't have the greatest day today, head aching, vomit feeling in the back of my throat, lack of ability to write this speech, and general lethargic feelings that are getting harder and harder to control. So this was just the icing on top of the horrible durian flavored cake.
Of course, Alice didn't even really notice me right away and I tried to take matters into my hands by being brave and beating the bed with a pillow, hoping to smash the spider in the process. Then I walked along the bed, hoping my weight would kill it if the pillow hadn't.
I was trying to will myself to go to bed when Alice finally took notice and asked me what the problem was. I told her there was a massive spider in the bed and spiders are just about my least favorite thing in the world. She started looking for it and I lifted up the two bed sheets and there it was. I immediately dropped the sheets and started backing up and Alice went and got some super toxic spray and started spraying it. Then I told her about the tissues and she physically went and grabbed the spider and killed it.
Oh, thank the gods. She was surprised that I thought it was a big spider. She told me that big spiders in Malaysia are really tarantula sized (which I really did not need to hear, thanks). This clinches it: I can't live in a country where that spider is considered small. No way, no how.
This is the first incident I've had on this trip with spiders. I've had my issues with flies and mosquitoes (I'm going to be wearing the scars from my itching for quite a while, that much I know), but I've been lucky about the spiders. Until now, I mean.
But at least I know for sure it's not in the room. I can go to sleep and have nightmares that involve me not doing the homework that was due tomorrow (just can't shake the lethargy that prevents me from doing anything) or giving a bad speech at the closing ceremony and I'll take either of those dream themes over eight legged ones any day of the week. (Especially Thursdays.)
Also? For those of you keeping count? I've been told I look like Kristen Stewart by four people. Two people have told me I look like Princess Diana. Three random people have told me I am beautiful and one asked me how it happened. The novel standard of beauty they have here almost makes up for the big spiders, but not quite.
Faster than I've ever moved before, I sat up, wrenched the blanket from my body, and scrambled/leapt off the foot of the bed, running to the light switch to turn it on. I looked back at the bed and there it was: A pale, kind of beige color, and way bigger than your typical house spider in Michigan.
"Frak me," I said.
I opened my door and grabbed some tissue with the intent of squishing it and it was just sitting on the bed, taunting me, daring me to come and get it. And, of course, I froze, and found myself unable to move because it was really big and what if it bit me through the tissue or touched me or something? I moved closer and it ran underneath the bedding and frak, that was so no cool.
The phone rang (because Malaysians have no sense of time and calling at 11:45 at night isn't considered bad timing) and Alice came out, and I'm just perched in the middle of my room, clutching three tissues in my hand, semi-hyperventilating and, yes, crying. Crying because I didn't have the greatest day today, head aching, vomit feeling in the back of my throat, lack of ability to write this speech, and general lethargic feelings that are getting harder and harder to control. So this was just the icing on top of the horrible durian flavored cake.
Of course, Alice didn't even really notice me right away and I tried to take matters into my hands by being brave and beating the bed with a pillow, hoping to smash the spider in the process. Then I walked along the bed, hoping my weight would kill it if the pillow hadn't.
I was trying to will myself to go to bed when Alice finally took notice and asked me what the problem was. I told her there was a massive spider in the bed and spiders are just about my least favorite thing in the world. She started looking for it and I lifted up the two bed sheets and there it was. I immediately dropped the sheets and started backing up and Alice went and got some super toxic spray and started spraying it. Then I told her about the tissues and she physically went and grabbed the spider and killed it.
Oh, thank the gods. She was surprised that I thought it was a big spider. She told me that big spiders in Malaysia are really tarantula sized (which I really did not need to hear, thanks). This clinches it: I can't live in a country where that spider is considered small. No way, no how.
This is the first incident I've had on this trip with spiders. I've had my issues with flies and mosquitoes (I'm going to be wearing the scars from my itching for quite a while, that much I know), but I've been lucky about the spiders. Until now, I mean.
But at least I know for sure it's not in the room. I can go to sleep and have nightmares that involve me not doing the homework that was due tomorrow (just can't shake the lethargy that prevents me from doing anything) or giving a bad speech at the closing ceremony and I'll take either of those dream themes over eight legged ones any day of the week. (Especially Thursdays.)
Also? For those of you keeping count? I've been told I look like Kristen Stewart by four people. Two people have told me I look like Princess Diana. Three random people have told me I am beautiful and one asked me how it happened. The novel standard of beauty they have here almost makes up for the big spiders, but not quite.