Uncertain next steps
So a few weeks ago I wrote a post about the student in my class who was violent and volatile in the classroom and how admin has written me up a few times. A lot of you guys have told me that I had put up with a lot in that I had expressed my concerns several times and it had fallen upon deaf ears.
I have since had the student removed from my classroom after bringing in union representation, who basically stated the fact that this child has severely affected the dynamic of the classroom with his unsafe behavior (he has threatened to kill me and other students as well). But simulataneously in this most recent writeup it was stated that I had not been working on my classroom management etc, which was not true and I typed up a rebuttal with proof to substantiate this. Essentially, it is an incredible mess since the tenor of my class was adversely affected by the behavior of a few of my students. Since this student left (to another class)it has been better and I am able to work "damage control" now.
In any event, the combination of stress and such had gotten me to the point where when I met with the union rep she advised I take personal necessity days to deal with the aftermath of this situation. Additionally, I went to my psychologist and she advised the same and I have been off this Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and have spring break next week as well. I didn't want to take the time but I have it and don't feel that I will be good for my kiddos when I am so completely spent by this rigomorale. I have had panic attacks and hyperventilation, anxiety attacks, etc.
I have also found out since I left that my coworkers are talking crap about me as well. (as teachers are prone to do). How do I go back to work on 3/31 without feeling like a failure and not embarrassed? I admit I have not been perfect but I am so nervous and I dread it already:(
I have since had the student removed from my classroom after bringing in union representation, who basically stated the fact that this child has severely affected the dynamic of the classroom with his unsafe behavior (he has threatened to kill me and other students as well). But simulataneously in this most recent writeup it was stated that I had not been working on my classroom management etc, which was not true and I typed up a rebuttal with proof to substantiate this. Essentially, it is an incredible mess since the tenor of my class was adversely affected by the behavior of a few of my students. Since this student left (to another class)it has been better and I am able to work "damage control" now.
In any event, the combination of stress and such had gotten me to the point where when I met with the union rep she advised I take personal necessity days to deal with the aftermath of this situation. Additionally, I went to my psychologist and she advised the same and I have been off this Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and have spring break next week as well. I didn't want to take the time but I have it and don't feel that I will be good for my kiddos when I am so completely spent by this rigomorale. I have had panic attacks and hyperventilation, anxiety attacks, etc.
I have also found out since I left that my coworkers are talking crap about me as well. (as teachers are prone to do). How do I go back to work on 3/31 without feeling like a failure and not embarrassed? I admit I have not been perfect but I am so nervous and I dread it already:(