Girl Crush
I spent the evening reading Reclaiming Miss Havisham. I have no idea who this chick is, but she's delightfully bitchy and writes haikus to her quilt.
The following are phrases that I am going to work into my vocabulary:
"Hurts worse than 8 bitches on a bitch boat"
"Spending money like it was a bodily function"
"I just rolled my eyes harder than I've ever rolled them before."
"I'm part of the camp that believes in living every week like it's shark week."
"I am extra crispy crazy today"
"I saw parts of my body I dont think doctors even know about yet."
"____________puts me directly in front of the fan the shit is going to hit."
"Crap on a crap cracker"
Here are some things that she wants that I now want:
Things she thinks are funny that I now think are funny:
This post about the design value of a dead hooker
Okay, we'd never be friends in real life because she appears to be pretty rich (in a my-parents-support-me kind of way) and she lives in San Fran, but that's why I love the internet.
The following are phrases that I am going to work into my vocabulary:
"Hurts worse than 8 bitches on a bitch boat"
"Spending money like it was a bodily function"
"I just rolled my eyes harder than I've ever rolled them before."
"I'm part of the camp that believes in living every week like it's shark week."
"I am extra crispy crazy today"
"I saw parts of my body I dont think doctors even know about yet."
"____________puts me directly in front of the fan the shit is going to hit."
"Crap on a crap cracker"
Here are some things that she wants that I now want:
Things she thinks are funny that I now think are funny:
This post about the design value of a dead hooker
Okay, we'd never be friends in real life because she appears to be pretty rich (in a my-parents-support-me kind of way) and she lives in San Fran, but that's why I love the internet.