Fanfic - Visions of Rain (epilogue)
Epilogue
Blaine sank into the hard cushion of the chair, his legs stretched out before him. These stiff, lumpy chairs were becoming a bit too familiar for comfort, but he tried his best to relax for the wait anyway. He didn’t really have much of a choice. It wasn’t often that he beat Burt here, but today was an exception. The roads had been clear, and Blaine had been restless to get down to Lima.
But he didn’t want to just waltz into the back. As a minor, he still needed an adult with him, even with the written permission of his parents, and trailing along beside Burt was a lot less tense than following one of the nurses.
He shuffled his toes around inside his tennis shoes, watching the loose ends of the laces as they swung about in the air with his every movement. He wouldn’t have them for very much longer if his guess was accurate.
He shifted his gaze upward to look out at the sky peeking in through the windows, praying that the heavy clouds from earlier in the morning had cleared away. No such luck. It was still overcast. He slunk down a little further, his chin pressed uncomfortably close to his chest. At least the rain that had been falling since before he’d woken up had stopped. That had sucked to drive in. With any luck, the storm front would be moving out soon, and clear skies would return. Not that he’d get to enjoy them all that much, with Kurt being so sick and all, but still, the thought cheered him a tiny bit.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and ran his thumb over the screen to bring it to life. He needed to know the time but really didn’t feel like figuring out the hours and minutes on the little clock hanging above the nurse’s station. Only a few minutes had passed. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket. Still too early, but Burt would be there soon. He tapped the toes of his shoes together and closed his eyes.
It had been some time since Kurt had once again been admitted for treatment. He was being treated by a new doctor, who’d wanted to run Kurt through some extensive tests to see if his medication was working the way it should. Burt had been updated. Blaine hadn’t.
And he found that he wasn’t really all that upset about it.
Whatever the heck they were doing now seemed to be working, and that was enough. Kurt was far more subdued, a little quieter and less expressive, but he talked about the things he normally would have had they been hanging out on the floor of Blaine’s room or chatting somewhere in the halls of Dalton. Kurt seemed to be open with everyone about how he was doing and was steadily getting better. Admittedly, the recovery was pretty slow, and it wasn’t much, but it was enough. Blaine would take what he could get.
A shadow fell over him and he looked up to see Burt Hummel grinning down at him.
“You asleep there, kid?”
“Not quite.” Blaine straightened and stretched the bunched muscles in his back.
“Well, shall we?”
“I’m ready when you are.”
They walked up to the front and filled out their names on the colorful little nametags they’d been given, pasting them securely to their chests. The nurses knew who they were by this point. Blaine pulled at the hem of his shirt, tugging it a bit more firmly over his jeans, but it didn’t make the billowing fabric fit any better. It was still way too big for him. He’d need to have it altered later to fit his frame; maybe he could get Mercedes to help. She was better at this sort of thing than him. And he couldn’t bear to give up the stupid thing.
He followed Burt into the back where they toed off their shoes and emptied their pockets, handing everything to the orderlies. The movements were so familiar now that Blaine barely registered them. They walked into the large open room where the patients were allowed to congregate, and Blaine smiled when he spotted Kurt. He was seated in the large, extended windowsill at the far side of the room, a blanket spread over his bent knees. He was reading a novel Burt had brought him the last time they’d visited, and he looked to be about halfway through it. Blaine’s smile widened. They’d have to bring him a new one soon.
“Hey, Kurt.”
He lifted his head to look at them, folding his book closed, and a gentle smile graced his lips. “Hey.”
Burt walked up to his son and smoothed a hand over his hair. Kurt didn’t seem to mind that so much anymore. Just something else to get used to. “How are you doing today, kiddo?”
“All right. I’m ready to start eating real food again.”
Burt chuckled. “I hear you. If the food in here is as bad as it is in the cafeteria, then we need to break you out as fast as possible.”
“Please do.” He turned to Blaine, an eyebrow creeping up toward his hairline. “And what, pray tell, are you wearing?”
He gripped the hem of his overlarge shirt. “What, this?”
“Yes, that. It looked like you’re wearing a tent.”
Blaine sat down on the little empty space beside Kurt’s feet on the windowsill. “True, but Jo still thinks I’m an obese bum.”
Kurt’s face fell a bit and he looked down at the book in his lap. “I’m still sorry about that, you know. I didn’t mean to ruin her visit.”
Blaine patted Kurt’s knee, trying to cheer Kurt up a bit. “Don’t worry about it, Kurt. I already told you that you didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t exactly something you could control. And hey, she still wants to meet you.”
Kurt winced. “You sure about that?”
“Of course. How could she not, when I can’t help but extol your many virtues every time she calls?”
Kurt snorted, but his grin belied the humor creeping back into his mood. “Many virtues, huh?”
“You know it.”
They fell into a comfortable silence, and Kurt leaned forward to hug his knees to his chest, his eyes fixed on the boy in front of him. “I was right, you know.”
“Mmm? About what?”
“Pink.” He reached forward and traced the design on the front of Blaine’s shirt, the bright fuchsia of his nametag. His smile was bright as his eyes trailed up to Blaine’s face. Blaine felt his heart skip a beat as he lost himself in Kurt’s blue gaze. “It really is a good color on you.”
---
Burt and Blaine stayed with Kurt for a while longer, Burt promising to return later in the day with Finn and, if he could clear it with the nurses, something more edible than Kurt’s current choice of cuisine.
A cool rush of air hit Blaine’s face as he stepped out into the misty afternoon. It wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been when he first arrived here, but he still shrugged his jacket a little closer to his body to ward off the chill. Burt stepped up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He’d been incredibly kind to Blaine, letting him spend the night periodically and coming with him to visit Kurt. Blaine didn’t know how he was ever going to repay the man for all that he’d done.
“Do you mind if I treat you to lunch? We could bring something home to Finn.”
He shook his head. “Not at all. That’s perfectly fine with me.”
“Do you mind pizza?”
“No. I’m up for most anything,” he said with a grin, but his face fell as soon as he saw Burt’s grim expression. “Burt? Is everything okay?”
“I’ve just…” he swallowed and walked over to one of the benches near the handicapped parking, sitting down heavily on the hard wooden surface. “I need to tell you something.”
Blaine was starting to get worried, and he set himself down beside the older man. Though he remained silent, a thousand questions were written all over his face.
“I haven’t been entirely honest with you, kid, and with school coming up so soon, I think you need to know this.”
“So you’re sending Kurt back to Dalton?”
“For the time-being, yeah. Carole and I have already paid for the new semester, and I don’t know how well Kurt would handle the stress at McKinley. He’s-I still don’t think he’s safe there. Not with that Karofsky kid hanging around.”
Blaine nodded. Only he and Kurt knew the real reason behind Karofsky’s harassment of Kurt, and the sexual overtones of the bullying made Blaine all the more wary of sending Kurt back to the school. He’d tell Burt about it if things got to be too much for Kurt at Dalton. The man needed to know about things like that if Kurt needed to switch schools again.
“But I can’t be there at Dalton, and you’ve been here throughout this whole mess. I just…you’re such a good kid, Blaine.” He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “I need someone to look out for him when I can’t be there.”
Blaine didn’t trust himself to speak. He didn’t feel that he was the right person to trust with this, whatever it might be, but there really wasn’t anyone else, was there? Not unless Burt and Carole suddenly decided to ship Finn off to Westerville too. “Why are you telling me this? I don’t really mind-I’m more than willing to look out for Kurt when we’re at school-but I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.”
“Because you need to know what’s really going on with Kurt.”
“What do you mean?”
“He was misdiagnosed. Earlier. That’s one of the reasons why he relapsed this last time. Dr. Thompson had his suspicions because some of Kurt’s symptoms didn’t fit well with bipolar, and since Kurt’s responding to the new medication, everything seems proving him right.”
“Burt, sir, what’s going on?”
“We’re not exactly sure where it came from, but the doctors are pretty sure they’ve got it right this time.”
“Burt, what’s wrong with Kurt?”
Burt turned his head and locked his grey eyes with Blaine’s hazel. “Schizophrenia, Blaine. Kurt has schizophrenia.”
Schizophrenia. Blaine’s mind went blank for a moment before a sudden rush of thoughts bombarded his brain.
Schizophrenia. That was that thing where people had different personalities, right? Where they saw things and went absolutely nuts for no reason? He felt something catch in his throat.
“Blaine?”
He lowered his head and stared at the sidewalk. So. Schizophrenia. He sucked in a deep breath and screwed his eyes shut, his mind racing. What did it really matter, in the end? He’d already gone this far; what did it matter that they actually had a name for what was wrong with Kurt? It was all the same in the end. He sighed. “That’s…that’s pretty heavy.”
“I know.” Burt sounded so defeated. This was a mistake. He’d already loaded this boy with too much as it was, even if Kurt needed a friend. “I’m so sorry to ask this of you. I know Kurt’s only your friend, but he really seems to trust you. I…damn it, I shouldn’t have asked you to do this. We can find something else. I’m sorry, Blaine. This isn’t fair to you.”
Blaine straightened and lightly slapped his knees. “Okay,” he breathed. “Okay.”
“What?”
“I can do that. I can keep an eye on him.” He turned to Burt and gave him a light smile. “I know what’s going on, right? Like, everything. And I’ve already been through this much, and I’m still here. Besides,“ he grinned a little wider, “I’m sure that I could tell you more than the school if something’s wrong.”
Blaine suddenly found himself crushed against the hard plane of Burt’s chest, warm, strong arms wrapped around his shoulders. The man’s voice was choked with emotion and so quiet that Blaine almost couldn’t hear him, but it made him feel warmer than he had in months. “You’re a good kid, Blaine. You’re a good kid.”
---
Back
Beginning
---
Notes: Whew. Sorry for spamming my flist, guys. I just wanted to get this whole thing posted at one time so it was out of my hair. The song from part four is Closer to Heaven by Alan Parsons Project. If you'd like to hear it, you can find it here.
Also, please do not think that schizophrenia means that a person has multiple personalities, as implied by Blaine's musing in the epilogue.This is a completely false and rather archaic way of seeing this disorder. One of the main symptoms of schizophrenia is hallucination (typically audible hallucinations, but visual hallucinations can happen as well). Before Disassociative Identity Disorder (DID, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder, which is also an incorrect description, but I'm not going to get into that) was accepted as a valid diagnosis (though the nature of the condition is still debated), people often believed schizophrenics to have multiple personalities due to their responses to their hallucinations as well as a potential change in overall demeanor (unfortunately, as the disease progresses, schizophrenics can have some changes in personality, including becoming violent and/or paranoid), which perpetuated the myth that schizophrenics had multiple personalities. Feel free to send me a message if you'd like to talk about the subject. I'm definitely not any kind of expert on it, but I'm more than willing to discuss this if you'd like. I don't bite. Promise. :)
I hope you enjoyed this beast, and thanks for reading. ♥
Blaine sank into the hard cushion of the chair, his legs stretched out before him. These stiff, lumpy chairs were becoming a bit too familiar for comfort, but he tried his best to relax for the wait anyway. He didn’t really have much of a choice. It wasn’t often that he beat Burt here, but today was an exception. The roads had been clear, and Blaine had been restless to get down to Lima.
But he didn’t want to just waltz into the back. As a minor, he still needed an adult with him, even with the written permission of his parents, and trailing along beside Burt was a lot less tense than following one of the nurses.
He shuffled his toes around inside his tennis shoes, watching the loose ends of the laces as they swung about in the air with his every movement. He wouldn’t have them for very much longer if his guess was accurate.
He shifted his gaze upward to look out at the sky peeking in through the windows, praying that the heavy clouds from earlier in the morning had cleared away. No such luck. It was still overcast. He slunk down a little further, his chin pressed uncomfortably close to his chest. At least the rain that had been falling since before he’d woken up had stopped. That had sucked to drive in. With any luck, the storm front would be moving out soon, and clear skies would return. Not that he’d get to enjoy them all that much, with Kurt being so sick and all, but still, the thought cheered him a tiny bit.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and ran his thumb over the screen to bring it to life. He needed to know the time but really didn’t feel like figuring out the hours and minutes on the little clock hanging above the nurse’s station. Only a few minutes had passed. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket. Still too early, but Burt would be there soon. He tapped the toes of his shoes together and closed his eyes.
It had been some time since Kurt had once again been admitted for treatment. He was being treated by a new doctor, who’d wanted to run Kurt through some extensive tests to see if his medication was working the way it should. Burt had been updated. Blaine hadn’t.
And he found that he wasn’t really all that upset about it.
Whatever the heck they were doing now seemed to be working, and that was enough. Kurt was far more subdued, a little quieter and less expressive, but he talked about the things he normally would have had they been hanging out on the floor of Blaine’s room or chatting somewhere in the halls of Dalton. Kurt seemed to be open with everyone about how he was doing and was steadily getting better. Admittedly, the recovery was pretty slow, and it wasn’t much, but it was enough. Blaine would take what he could get.
A shadow fell over him and he looked up to see Burt Hummel grinning down at him.
“You asleep there, kid?”
“Not quite.” Blaine straightened and stretched the bunched muscles in his back.
“Well, shall we?”
“I’m ready when you are.”
They walked up to the front and filled out their names on the colorful little nametags they’d been given, pasting them securely to their chests. The nurses knew who they were by this point. Blaine pulled at the hem of his shirt, tugging it a bit more firmly over his jeans, but it didn’t make the billowing fabric fit any better. It was still way too big for him. He’d need to have it altered later to fit his frame; maybe he could get Mercedes to help. She was better at this sort of thing than him. And he couldn’t bear to give up the stupid thing.
He followed Burt into the back where they toed off their shoes and emptied their pockets, handing everything to the orderlies. The movements were so familiar now that Blaine barely registered them. They walked into the large open room where the patients were allowed to congregate, and Blaine smiled when he spotted Kurt. He was seated in the large, extended windowsill at the far side of the room, a blanket spread over his bent knees. He was reading a novel Burt had brought him the last time they’d visited, and he looked to be about halfway through it. Blaine’s smile widened. They’d have to bring him a new one soon.
“Hey, Kurt.”
He lifted his head to look at them, folding his book closed, and a gentle smile graced his lips. “Hey.”
Burt walked up to his son and smoothed a hand over his hair. Kurt didn’t seem to mind that so much anymore. Just something else to get used to. “How are you doing today, kiddo?”
“All right. I’m ready to start eating real food again.”
Burt chuckled. “I hear you. If the food in here is as bad as it is in the cafeteria, then we need to break you out as fast as possible.”
“Please do.” He turned to Blaine, an eyebrow creeping up toward his hairline. “And what, pray tell, are you wearing?”
He gripped the hem of his overlarge shirt. “What, this?”
“Yes, that. It looked like you’re wearing a tent.”
Blaine sat down on the little empty space beside Kurt’s feet on the windowsill. “True, but Jo still thinks I’m an obese bum.”
Kurt’s face fell a bit and he looked down at the book in his lap. “I’m still sorry about that, you know. I didn’t mean to ruin her visit.”
Blaine patted Kurt’s knee, trying to cheer Kurt up a bit. “Don’t worry about it, Kurt. I already told you that you didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t exactly something you could control. And hey, she still wants to meet you.”
Kurt winced. “You sure about that?”
“Of course. How could she not, when I can’t help but extol your many virtues every time she calls?”
Kurt snorted, but his grin belied the humor creeping back into his mood. “Many virtues, huh?”
“You know it.”
They fell into a comfortable silence, and Kurt leaned forward to hug his knees to his chest, his eyes fixed on the boy in front of him. “I was right, you know.”
“Mmm? About what?”
“Pink.” He reached forward and traced the design on the front of Blaine’s shirt, the bright fuchsia of his nametag. His smile was bright as his eyes trailed up to Blaine’s face. Blaine felt his heart skip a beat as he lost himself in Kurt’s blue gaze. “It really is a good color on you.”
---
Burt and Blaine stayed with Kurt for a while longer, Burt promising to return later in the day with Finn and, if he could clear it with the nurses, something more edible than Kurt’s current choice of cuisine.
A cool rush of air hit Blaine’s face as he stepped out into the misty afternoon. It wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been when he first arrived here, but he still shrugged his jacket a little closer to his body to ward off the chill. Burt stepped up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He’d been incredibly kind to Blaine, letting him spend the night periodically and coming with him to visit Kurt. Blaine didn’t know how he was ever going to repay the man for all that he’d done.
“Do you mind if I treat you to lunch? We could bring something home to Finn.”
He shook his head. “Not at all. That’s perfectly fine with me.”
“Do you mind pizza?”
“No. I’m up for most anything,” he said with a grin, but his face fell as soon as he saw Burt’s grim expression. “Burt? Is everything okay?”
“I’ve just…” he swallowed and walked over to one of the benches near the handicapped parking, sitting down heavily on the hard wooden surface. “I need to tell you something.”
Blaine was starting to get worried, and he set himself down beside the older man. Though he remained silent, a thousand questions were written all over his face.
“I haven’t been entirely honest with you, kid, and with school coming up so soon, I think you need to know this.”
“So you’re sending Kurt back to Dalton?”
“For the time-being, yeah. Carole and I have already paid for the new semester, and I don’t know how well Kurt would handle the stress at McKinley. He’s-I still don’t think he’s safe there. Not with that Karofsky kid hanging around.”
Blaine nodded. Only he and Kurt knew the real reason behind Karofsky’s harassment of Kurt, and the sexual overtones of the bullying made Blaine all the more wary of sending Kurt back to the school. He’d tell Burt about it if things got to be too much for Kurt at Dalton. The man needed to know about things like that if Kurt needed to switch schools again.
“But I can’t be there at Dalton, and you’ve been here throughout this whole mess. I just…you’re such a good kid, Blaine.” He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “I need someone to look out for him when I can’t be there.”
Blaine didn’t trust himself to speak. He didn’t feel that he was the right person to trust with this, whatever it might be, but there really wasn’t anyone else, was there? Not unless Burt and Carole suddenly decided to ship Finn off to Westerville too. “Why are you telling me this? I don’t really mind-I’m more than willing to look out for Kurt when we’re at school-but I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.”
“Because you need to know what’s really going on with Kurt.”
“What do you mean?”
“He was misdiagnosed. Earlier. That’s one of the reasons why he relapsed this last time. Dr. Thompson had his suspicions because some of Kurt’s symptoms didn’t fit well with bipolar, and since Kurt’s responding to the new medication, everything seems proving him right.”
“Burt, sir, what’s going on?”
“We’re not exactly sure where it came from, but the doctors are pretty sure they’ve got it right this time.”
“Burt, what’s wrong with Kurt?”
Burt turned his head and locked his grey eyes with Blaine’s hazel. “Schizophrenia, Blaine. Kurt has schizophrenia.”
Schizophrenia. Blaine’s mind went blank for a moment before a sudden rush of thoughts bombarded his brain.
Schizophrenia. That was that thing where people had different personalities, right? Where they saw things and went absolutely nuts for no reason? He felt something catch in his throat.
“Blaine?”
He lowered his head and stared at the sidewalk. So. Schizophrenia. He sucked in a deep breath and screwed his eyes shut, his mind racing. What did it really matter, in the end? He’d already gone this far; what did it matter that they actually had a name for what was wrong with Kurt? It was all the same in the end. He sighed. “That’s…that’s pretty heavy.”
“I know.” Burt sounded so defeated. This was a mistake. He’d already loaded this boy with too much as it was, even if Kurt needed a friend. “I’m so sorry to ask this of you. I know Kurt’s only your friend, but he really seems to trust you. I…damn it, I shouldn’t have asked you to do this. We can find something else. I’m sorry, Blaine. This isn’t fair to you.”
Blaine straightened and lightly slapped his knees. “Okay,” he breathed. “Okay.”
“What?”
“I can do that. I can keep an eye on him.” He turned to Burt and gave him a light smile. “I know what’s going on, right? Like, everything. And I’ve already been through this much, and I’m still here. Besides,“ he grinned a little wider, “I’m sure that I could tell you more than the school if something’s wrong.”
Blaine suddenly found himself crushed against the hard plane of Burt’s chest, warm, strong arms wrapped around his shoulders. The man’s voice was choked with emotion and so quiet that Blaine almost couldn’t hear him, but it made him feel warmer than he had in months. “You’re a good kid, Blaine. You’re a good kid.”
---
Back
Beginning
---
Notes: Whew. Sorry for spamming my flist, guys. I just wanted to get this whole thing posted at one time so it was out of my hair. The song from part four is Closer to Heaven by Alan Parsons Project. If you'd like to hear it, you can find it here.
Also, please do not think that schizophrenia means that a person has multiple personalities, as implied by Blaine's musing in the epilogue.This is a completely false and rather archaic way of seeing this disorder. One of the main symptoms of schizophrenia is hallucination (typically audible hallucinations, but visual hallucinations can happen as well). Before Disassociative Identity Disorder (DID, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder, which is also an incorrect description, but I'm not going to get into that) was accepted as a valid diagnosis (though the nature of the condition is still debated), people often believed schizophrenics to have multiple personalities due to their responses to their hallucinations as well as a potential change in overall demeanor (unfortunately, as the disease progresses, schizophrenics can have some changes in personality, including becoming violent and/or paranoid), which perpetuated the myth that schizophrenics had multiple personalities. Feel free to send me a message if you'd like to talk about the subject. I'm definitely not any kind of expert on it, but I'm more than willing to discuss this if you'd like. I don't bite. Promise. :)
I hope you enjoyed this beast, and thanks for reading. ♥