IotPF, episode one!
Damnit, Baka-Tsuki, fix what's wrong with your server NAO!!
Hmph.
I was talking to a guy last night and, well... I kinda want to do this now. And hell, it's better than working!
Warning for general retardedness, no doubt emphasized by a lack of uniformity.
(One night at Garan-no-Dou, the phone rings...)
Good evening, this is Garan-no-Dou... architectural monster hunting doll-making magical detective agency.
Eh... what?!?
Yes, what can we do for you?
... Niisan, what kind of people are these...?
Well, whatever. I'm looking for my brother, Tohno Shiki. Would you know anything about his whereabouts?
Hmmm... that kid hasn't been around here for a few days.
But... you do know him? What's his business with you people?
Nothing important, we're just acquaintances really. Is he missing?
Yeah, he hasn't come home for a few days. And he knows what kind of things happen to him when he doesn't come home. I thought I'd beat this behavior out of him.
Hmm, well, to be honest, our detective is out of town at the moment. And our other kid is in a bit of a sulk... and this isn't the sort of thing that would interest her anyway.
What isn't?
Oh, you came in. Hey, have you seen that Tohno Shiki?
Tohno? Not for a few days.
Then he really is missing.
Curses! And with all those suspicious people running around the city... Niisan is so impressionable...
What's up?
Hold up, Shiki... What suspicious people, Tohno-san?
The... fanboys...
Huh?
You haven't heard?
I've been a bit swamped... the kid who's out of town usually does my financial paperwork. So what's the story?
Well... the city seems to be in the process of being taken over. A bunch of kids just suddenly popped up and started running all over taking panty shots...
Oh, I get it. Anime fanboys, eh?
It's not funny! People like that could really have a bad influence on Niisan...
Yeah... I see now why you want to find him so fast. Hang on a minute.
Touko, you didn't hear about the invasion?
Even you knew before me, eh? That's annoying. Want to go look for Tohno?
I guess, if there's nothing better to do.
Okay, but watch out if you're going outside. I hear these people can be scary and dangerous.
Yeah, whatever.
And check in with the other girls. We don't want any more pictures of them winding up on the internet.
... A few more will make a difference...?
So you guys can help me?
Well, we'll do what we can. If you have any maids, cat ears or short skirts, you might want to put them under lock and key. We'll let you know when we have news.
Aah! Hisui and Kohaku!
Good luck, Tohno-san!
(Meanwhile, elsewhere in the city...)
Aagh, damnit! These guys are everywhere! I'm getting the creeps just walking around here!
Rin, calm down! We have to stay focused!
Yeah... yeah, I know. I'm just pissed 'cause I still can't figure out where they all came from. Plus, they act so weird...
Yes, you're right. They all walk around as if in a daze. It's a bit unsettling.
And they all swarm around Sakura like flies around honey... We've got to get rid of them fast!
Yo.
Yipe!
Gyah!
... A bit on edge?
D-don't come at us from above! Especially not in this situation!
If you were a bit more alert, I wouldn't be able to take you by surprise.
That doesn't mean you should do it!
But you realize you were in danger just then, right?
Yeah, right. Saber and I have already taken out fifteen of these guys just tonight.
Oh? What are you doing with them?
Well, we were using the basement in my mansion, but we're running out of room. We might have to ask Tohno-san for help soon.
You know them? Then have you seen Tohno Shiki?
Akiha called us a while ago asking that, but we haven't seen him. Knowing him, he's done something stupid...
We're trying to find the vampire and the nun, but when we're searching over two cities...
Yeah... and where is Emiya?
That jerk's missing too!
That doesn't sound good.
Shirou can... behave foolishly...
What she means is, he's a gigantic flaming goofball idiot without an ounce of sense in his head and he's probably already become part of the zombie hoard.
Well, if they've eaten his brain, we can't do anything for him. We'll have to treat him like all the others.
Wait, you two! They aren't really zombies, we don't have to kill them!
You sure, Saber? Look at the way they're acting. These guys don't look human to me.
But Rin, fanboys always act this way! It's perfectly natural!
Maybe, but these guys are much worse than usual. I'm sure it's not normal... The more I think about it, the more I think they're really some kind of zombie fanboy army.
Well, Emiya or not, I like this kind of thing a lot better. And I'm sure we'll find those guys somewhere along the way.
Gah! Am I the only one who's worried about Shirou?!?
We can worry after we find him! There are a lot of other people in danger too! We should find the other girls and warn them, and contact Tohno-san too.
All right...
You two coming?
Woah, she's way over there already... Come on, Saber!
Roger!
(End of episode one!)
___
Hmph.
I was talking to a guy last night and, well... I kinda want to do this now. And hell, it's better than working!
Warning for general retardedness, no doubt emphasized by a lack of uniformity.
(One night at Garan-no-Dou, the phone rings...)
Good evening, this is Garan-no-Dou... architectural monster hunting doll-making magical detective agency.
Eh... what?!?
Yes, what can we do for you?
... Niisan, what kind of people are these...?
Well, whatever. I'm looking for my brother, Tohno Shiki. Would you know anything about his whereabouts?
Hmmm... that kid hasn't been around here for a few days.
But... you do know him? What's his business with you people?
Nothing important, we're just acquaintances really. Is he missing?
Yeah, he hasn't come home for a few days. And he knows what kind of things happen to him when he doesn't come home. I thought I'd beat this behavior out of him.
Hmm, well, to be honest, our detective is out of town at the moment. And our other kid is in a bit of a sulk... and this isn't the sort of thing that would interest her anyway.
What isn't?
Oh, you came in. Hey, have you seen that Tohno Shiki?
Tohno? Not for a few days.
Then he really is missing.
Curses! And with all those suspicious people running around the city... Niisan is so impressionable...
What's up?
Hold up, Shiki... What suspicious people, Tohno-san?
The... fanboys...
Huh?
You haven't heard?
I've been a bit swamped... the kid who's out of town usually does my financial paperwork. So what's the story?
Well... the city seems to be in the process of being taken over. A bunch of kids just suddenly popped up and started running all over taking panty shots...
Oh, I get it. Anime fanboys, eh?
It's not funny! People like that could really have a bad influence on Niisan...
Yeah... I see now why you want to find him so fast. Hang on a minute.
Touko, you didn't hear about the invasion?
Even you knew before me, eh? That's annoying. Want to go look for Tohno?
I guess, if there's nothing better to do.
Okay, but watch out if you're going outside. I hear these people can be scary and dangerous.
Yeah, whatever.
And check in with the other girls. We don't want any more pictures of them winding up on the internet.
... A few more will make a difference...?
So you guys can help me?
Well, we'll do what we can. If you have any maids, cat ears or short skirts, you might want to put them under lock and key. We'll let you know when we have news.
Aah! Hisui and Kohaku!
Good luck, Tohno-san!
(Meanwhile, elsewhere in the city...)
Aagh, damnit! These guys are everywhere! I'm getting the creeps just walking around here!
Rin, calm down! We have to stay focused!
Yeah... yeah, I know. I'm just pissed 'cause I still can't figure out where they all came from. Plus, they act so weird...
Yes, you're right. They all walk around as if in a daze. It's a bit unsettling.
And they all swarm around Sakura like flies around honey... We've got to get rid of them fast!
Yo.
Yipe!
Gyah!
... A bit on edge?
D-don't come at us from above! Especially not in this situation!
If you were a bit more alert, I wouldn't be able to take you by surprise.
That doesn't mean you should do it!
But you realize you were in danger just then, right?
Yeah, right. Saber and I have already taken out fifteen of these guys just tonight.
Oh? What are you doing with them?
Well, we were using the basement in my mansion, but we're running out of room. We might have to ask Tohno-san for help soon.
You know them? Then have you seen Tohno Shiki?
Akiha called us a while ago asking that, but we haven't seen him. Knowing him, he's done something stupid...
We're trying to find the vampire and the nun, but when we're searching over two cities...
Yeah... and where is Emiya?
That jerk's missing too!
That doesn't sound good.
Shirou can... behave foolishly...
What she means is, he's a gigantic flaming goofball idiot without an ounce of sense in his head and he's probably already become part of the zombie hoard.
Well, if they've eaten his brain, we can't do anything for him. We'll have to treat him like all the others.
Wait, you two! They aren't really zombies, we don't have to kill them!
You sure, Saber? Look at the way they're acting. These guys don't look human to me.
But Rin, fanboys always act this way! It's perfectly natural!
Maybe, but these guys are much worse than usual. I'm sure it's not normal... The more I think about it, the more I think they're really some kind of zombie fanboy army.
Well, Emiya or not, I like this kind of thing a lot better. And I'm sure we'll find those guys somewhere along the way.
Gah! Am I the only one who's worried about Shirou?!?
We can worry after we find him! There are a lot of other people in danger too! We should find the other girls and warn them, and contact Tohno-san too.
All right...
You two coming?
Woah, she's way over there already... Come on, Saber!
Roger!
(End of episode one!)
___