(no subject)
Just...fuck life. There is no poetic way of putting it. Life is such a cruel, unsufferable bitch...I fucking hate being on this lonely, evil planet.
Sat here, home on New Year's eve...my phone is in my hand. I literally have no-one to talk to about it, no-one wants to know. I don't really blame them, the story of heartbreak is a familiar and rather boring one...until you have to experience it yourself.
I hate to sound all soppy, but my heart really does feel like it is breaking. I know full well he doesn't feel the same about me, but part of me is saying I need to tell him and then I can start to move on. I want to get completely drunk and ring him up, just tell him and then never have to see him again.
But I can't, I physically can't do it. I don't know if any alcohol in the world can help me muster up the strength to do it.
I've been sat here sobbing for the past half hour. For once I am grateful, its been building up for so long, but have never been able to get it out. My mood has been all over the place over the past few weeks, I feel so happy when I see him, and elated for the following few days, then the dark cloud or realization sets in. I might as well just admit it, he will never be mine. No matter how much I like him, no matter how much I think we have in common, I am just going to have to accept it.
But I really need to tell him.
I can understand why no-one wants to listen to this drivvel. Hell, if a friend was feeling this, I wouldn't want to listen to it. But its getting really difficult. My friends are not the ones that have to feel like this, that have to think about it constantly. I am meant to be revising for my exams, instead, I am sat here in a black pit.
Sat here, home on New Year's eve...my phone is in my hand. I literally have no-one to talk to about it, no-one wants to know. I don't really blame them, the story of heartbreak is a familiar and rather boring one...until you have to experience it yourself.
I hate to sound all soppy, but my heart really does feel like it is breaking. I know full well he doesn't feel the same about me, but part of me is saying I need to tell him and then I can start to move on. I want to get completely drunk and ring him up, just tell him and then never have to see him again.
But I can't, I physically can't do it. I don't know if any alcohol in the world can help me muster up the strength to do it.
I've been sat here sobbing for the past half hour. For once I am grateful, its been building up for so long, but have never been able to get it out. My mood has been all over the place over the past few weeks, I feel so happy when I see him, and elated for the following few days, then the dark cloud or realization sets in. I might as well just admit it, he will never be mine. No matter how much I like him, no matter how much I think we have in common, I am just going to have to accept it.
But I really need to tell him.
I can understand why no-one wants to listen to this drivvel. Hell, if a friend was feeling this, I wouldn't want to listen to it. But its getting really difficult. My friends are not the ones that have to feel like this, that have to think about it constantly. I am meant to be revising for my exams, instead, I am sat here in a black pit.