for Josslyn
surrounded by others but alone with my thoughts,
i lay back on the grass.
i pause for a moment and try to remove all the thoughts
that resemble anything crass.
i close my eyes and wait to hear what God is saying.
the things He repeats day after day,
the things we miss because we can't be bothered with praying.
He talks to me where i lay.
the creak of a swing supporting the child that giggles,
the gulls cawing as they soar above,
the stick scratching the sand as a child draws squiggles,
calls back and forth filled only with love.
all these things sound like nothing particularly extraordinary.
but God enables me to hear His voice
not with my ears. He puts peace in my heart and removes all things scary.
then He speaks; listening isn't a choice.
He wraps His arms around me using light from the sun He created,
whispers between the blades of grass by my ears.
pours His love over me till my worthless human body has been fully sated.
i pray He'll let me lay here for years.
the moment is broken when a tiny blonde girl throws herself on me.
i blink and instinctively reciprocate her hug.
momentarily i'm crushed. then i look at her face, in her eyes and see the key.
God is found everywhere; if He chose, in a mug.
her tiny hands, delicate and fragile, press firmly to the sides of my face.
she turns my head and plants a kiss on my cheek.
then jumps up and tugs my hand, unsuccessfully trying to move me from my place.
she smiles in triumph as i get up on my feet.
as she drags me behind her, eager to show me what we're gonna play,
i reflect on what God has told me today.
all the love that He's filled me with wasn't put in me to stay.
love isn't love till i give it away.