Merry Christmas????
This year for the Johnson Christmas the "parents" have decided that no one's house is big enough and they rented a hall. Then they proposed a few ideas for spending a little less this year on presents so we'd all agreed to discuss it all at Heather's. Well, I'm downstairs with Alex and Trina's kids, and they start discussing it. Instead of calling me up to participate in the conversation, Trina says, she's entertaining the kids, and we've talked so there's no need to have her input. Mom didn't appreciate that so she went to get dad to come down and swap up with me.
We talked about it and I put the following points forward.
- The parents wanted to get a Santa - I said hey, I'm in as long as we have a consistent story that everyone in the family tells all the little kids so that we don't ruin the illusion and spirit of the jolly guy coming down the chimney to bring them presents on Christmas Eve.
- The hall - the parents want to pay for it, Trina feels the need to be overly aggressive about paying as well - I said look, all the parents know that we assumed that we'd all chip in and are quite willing to do so. If they still want to split the hall 3 ways rather than 8 then I don't really care and all the power to them. If you want money just let me know our share and you'll get it.
- Presents for kids under 18 - in our families, until you turn 18 you get a present. The parents want to lessen the amount we're all paying for them - I have no problem with that! Basically - everyone chips in $20 for each kid (with the exception of your own and immediate nieces or nephews) and then the family (i.e. mom, me & Trina) goes together and each kid gets a $60 present. For me, there's 8 other kids so I chip in $160 each year. I think the theory now is that each parent will buy their kiddo an extra $25 present and put it under the tree from everyone else and call it square. (this year, I'd spend $75 on presents as opposed to $160). Mom & I talked last night and our problems are these - I now don't feel like I'm actually "giving" anything to any of the other kids in the family, and mom's choked cuz' now she's not buying anything. I guess we'll see how that one plays out. This one seems to be the big discussion point.
- The adult gift exchange - we do a $20 unisex gift, wrap it up and do a chinese gift exchange. Some thoughts for spicing it up were: attach a theme, split it so it's girls and guys, and up the limit to $25. I honestly don't know where that ended up.
You may ask, if I ended up coming upstairs to specifically discuss this, then why don't I know how it all turned out? Well, it’s because supper was ready, and all the kids were starving from their romps in the outdoors so I got up to make Alex’s plate, and Heather got up to make Evan’s plate. Trina stayed talking to Brenda, and Mat was outside so I then started to get her kid’s plates ready too. It was kind of odd, because normally Alex is the last to get her plate because I usually get hip checked out of the way by Trina. Apparently Trina and Brenda continued the discussion - mom was around but couldn’t hear anything because there was too much noise from the starving children - and made some decisions for the family and no one knows what they are at this point. I’m sure I’ll get a memo at some point.
Mom called me again last night to discuss it again, and I said pretty much here’s my opinion…..
- Hall - don’t care,
- Santa - as long as it doesn’t ruin my children’s spirit of Christmas and believing in Santa, and I can keep the illusion alive as long as possible, I don’t care
- Presents for kids - Christmas is about the kids, so as long as mine have presents to open (and traditionally they get one at the Johnson Christmas get together) then I don’t care. Yes, I feel like I’m not giving anyone anything, but the spirit in which the suggestion was first put forth is valid. I know my kid better than anyone else, I’m spending less money, and all the kids still get a present…….so I don’t care.
- Adult exchange - I like one exchange for everyone, and I’d like to see a broader theme - i.e. things that are round (as long as it has something round you’re good - a gift card with round bubbles on it, a bottle of wine with round grapes on it, etc.), as opposed to the “exotic beers” theme that was suggested. But, I like the exchange cuz’ it’s fun and makes me feel Christmassy, so I don’t care.
It boils down to, if Brenda and Trina want to make the decisions, then go for it. I’m anxious to see what actually happens.
So then I get a phone call from Mom this morning and she’s got some more information for me…..apparently the gift is from no one in particular, it’s just basically something that they can open at the family gathering and…unless the child is going to be there, they don’t get a present. Which means that Tessa and Calum (my cousin Debbie’s kids), who have only ever come to one family Christmas because they live in Kelowna, will never again get a Christmas present from us, when they have gotten them for the last 12 years. And the explanation for that is because they’re not going to be there. That means that Marci’s step-kids and mine will not get presents unless they’re there. Umm, NO! First of all Tessa, Calum and Daulton will never be there if Christmas is held on some weekend in December because they’re in school in different provinces. And Marci’s only every second year. Second, we’ve already set a precedent by buying presents for all the kids every year and I’m not prepared to stop that. Third, what kind of explanation is “because you’re not here” to a kid - it’s shit that’s what it is. Christmas for kids is about presents and I’ll be buggered if any of the kids in this family are going to think they’ve done something wrong and that we don’t like or love them anymore because we stop sending them presents. The fight is on I tell ya!