had a bad day again...
Last week was a rough week. Lots of emotions running through me and lots of unresolved issues finally catching up. It was pretty low. But I took the weekend off and ran away from everything and everything for a few days. It definitely helped. I'm not 100% yet but I'm worlds better than where I was.
Perspective is a funny thing. When you've got it, the world seems right and you feel like you can do or face anything. When you lose it, you feel like it's time to give up. I've got my perspective back but it's still a little flawed. After doing a lot of thinking this weekend I'm thinking I might really need to find a therapist. It probably won't happen for monetary reasons but sometimes I think it might help to just have someone to talk too. My problem is that when I start feeling bad I shut everyone out. I don't want them to think I'm crazy/over-dramatic/self-absorbed, etc. So I just tend to close myself and spend a lot of time in solitary confinement (i.e. sitting alone in my apartment watching TV). Problem with this is that everything gets bottled up and eventually it has to come out. Unfortunately when you haven't talked to anyone about your problems up to that point, it's certainly not going to happen when you're a crying, depressive mess. Such is the vicious circle.
Anyway, I just wanted to update on the feelings I've been having lately. I really need to do heavy duty, thought provoking writing. I've been using my paper journal a lot but I don't get any feedback from that. And as most of us can attest too, one of the best things about LJ is the friends and the honest feedback they provide.
Perspective is a funny thing. When you've got it, the world seems right and you feel like you can do or face anything. When you lose it, you feel like it's time to give up. I've got my perspective back but it's still a little flawed. After doing a lot of thinking this weekend I'm thinking I might really need to find a therapist. It probably won't happen for monetary reasons but sometimes I think it might help to just have someone to talk too. My problem is that when I start feeling bad I shut everyone out. I don't want them to think I'm crazy/over-dramatic/self-absorbed, etc. So I just tend to close myself and spend a lot of time in solitary confinement (i.e. sitting alone in my apartment watching TV). Problem with this is that everything gets bottled up and eventually it has to come out. Unfortunately when you haven't talked to anyone about your problems up to that point, it's certainly not going to happen when you're a crying, depressive mess. Such is the vicious circle.
Anyway, I just wanted to update on the feelings I've been having lately. I really need to do heavy duty, thought provoking writing. I've been using my paper journal a lot but I don't get any feedback from that. And as most of us can attest too, one of the best things about LJ is the friends and the honest feedback they provide.