(no subject)
I don't want to look on my Facebook page today. It hurts too much today. This has been coming along for a little while now, I am homesick. Facebook becomes painful - seeing the people I miss, the events I miss, the groups that I miss. We missed the 10th anniversary of Northshield. We will miss Eithni and whymc's wedding. We will miss a lot.
Part of this is because we didn't get to say good bye to so many of our friends. We were coming off an anti-social period. I had been sort of making noise that I wanted to start going back to SCA events, but John wasn't ready, or, probably too stressed with work and then looking for a new job. And then when the new job came, things moved so quickly that my head still spins thinking abou it.
And part of this is that folks are moving on, and I don't feel like I am...
Don't get me wrong - I am glad we moved and it was the right thing at the right time.
I am doing what I can to change careers and it will take time. I know that.
And making new friends and finding new niches takes time.
And, I even got some good news on a development today that I am working on, so things are really progressing.
But I still feel static. (which is really funny considering we just moved 850 some miles away)
I have moved around a lot growing up. I have now lived in 6 states. When I was a kid, I went to 6 different school districts in three different states (not inlcuding nursery school). I went to three different schools in the 6th grade alone.(and they were three different kinds of schools at that - an elementary school, a middle school, and then, for a month, a 6th grade center. And no, I can't really explain that last one) My parents were not in the military, we moved for better jobs or because, in the case of the Orlando, FL area, we moved to a circle of hell and needed to get out. I moved to grad school and that was a painful expirence for me. So, I know how moving works, how long it takes, how hard it can be. I didn't think things would just happen overnight. But it is still hard and it still hurts.
You can know a blow is coming beforehand but you can't stop that hurt. All you can do is try to brace yourself, but it is still going to hurt a hellava lot.
Seeing caoilfhionn and saraidh when they came out helped. And we are looking forward to seeing arebekah in November.
This too, shall pass, I know. Tomorrow is another day, and I will work on this new development I hinted at.
I miss you guys!