The Myth of "It Could Never Happen to Me"
I have been reading a lot of articles about babies who have died from hyperthermia after being left in cars. Some of these incidents are blatant cases of neglect, but others are tragic accidents. There was an article in the Washington Post a few years ago that I just stumbled upon that was tragic, shocking, and humbling. Called "Fatal Distraction," it discussed the 15-25 cases per year where an otherwise responsible parent leaves a child in a car because he or she just forgot.
I am a frequent "lurker" on the birth board of What to Expect and BabyCenter. When stories like this pop up in the news, mothers are quick to judge. Their posts are expletive-filled and hateful. The message is the same, over and over. A parent who would leave their child in a car on a hot day is a monster. They would NEVER do this because they CARE about their children. These parents deserve to be prosecuted, and life in prison is too gentle a sentence.
After reading the Washington Post article (I've copied the link below), I made signs for my husband and I to hang in our cars. They have a picture of our daughter and read: CHECK FOR SAM. My sister noticed this when she got in my car the other day and said: "That's ridiculous. You would never forget Sam. You're a good mother."
Nobody INTENDS to forget their child in the car. (Some truly bad parents intend to leave their children in the car while they do other things, but that's a completely different issue.) It's an issue of stress and time-management and distraction. I have often been halfway to work and realized I've forgotten my curriculum bag or my classroom keys. I have zoned out while driving home and missed the turn onto my street. It is not uncommon for me to climb in the car on a busy day only to realize I don't have any bottles prepared. When you are rushed and over-worked, stuff happens.
About a week ago, I was running around trying to complete a long list of errands. I was carting Sam around in her baby carrier. In the parking lot at Target, I was trying to snap her in. I went too quickly (and obviously wasn't paying enough attention) and pinched the skin of her cheek hard enough to make her cry. I felt AWFUL. I would have told you prior to this incident that I would NEVER be so careless as to make that mistake . . . but on a busy, errand-filled day, it's easy to stop being vigilant.
I guess the point of all this is that parents are too quick to judge each other. I have immense sympathy and compassion for mothers and fathers who have made sincere mistakes with their kids -- even when these mistakes turn into fatalities. An overtired mother who falls asleep in bed with a colicky infant and rolls over her? A frustrated dad who forgets to drop off his child at daycare? There but for the grace of God go I.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/27/AR2009022701549.html
I am a frequent "lurker" on the birth board of What to Expect and BabyCenter. When stories like this pop up in the news, mothers are quick to judge. Their posts are expletive-filled and hateful. The message is the same, over and over. A parent who would leave their child in a car on a hot day is a monster. They would NEVER do this because they CARE about their children. These parents deserve to be prosecuted, and life in prison is too gentle a sentence.
After reading the Washington Post article (I've copied the link below), I made signs for my husband and I to hang in our cars. They have a picture of our daughter and read: CHECK FOR SAM. My sister noticed this when she got in my car the other day and said: "That's ridiculous. You would never forget Sam. You're a good mother."
Nobody INTENDS to forget their child in the car. (Some truly bad parents intend to leave their children in the car while they do other things, but that's a completely different issue.) It's an issue of stress and time-management and distraction. I have often been halfway to work and realized I've forgotten my curriculum bag or my classroom keys. I have zoned out while driving home and missed the turn onto my street. It is not uncommon for me to climb in the car on a busy day only to realize I don't have any bottles prepared. When you are rushed and over-worked, stuff happens.
About a week ago, I was running around trying to complete a long list of errands. I was carting Sam around in her baby carrier. In the parking lot at Target, I was trying to snap her in. I went too quickly (and obviously wasn't paying enough attention) and pinched the skin of her cheek hard enough to make her cry. I felt AWFUL. I would have told you prior to this incident that I would NEVER be so careless as to make that mistake . . . but on a busy, errand-filled day, it's easy to stop being vigilant.
I guess the point of all this is that parents are too quick to judge each other. I have immense sympathy and compassion for mothers and fathers who have made sincere mistakes with their kids -- even when these mistakes turn into fatalities. An overtired mother who falls asleep in bed with a colicky infant and rolls over her? A frustrated dad who forgets to drop off his child at daycare? There but for the grace of God go I.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/27/AR2009022701549.html