My $80,000 Frustration
Jason was off today. I find more and more than I feel MORE frustrated and MORE out of control on the days when he is home. If Jason is away, I move smoothly through my daily routines. I get up with Sam, change her diaper, get her dressed, feed her breakfast. . . I let the dogs out, get them food and water, give them their medicine. I do the dishes, fold the laundry, vacuum the floors . . . There are challenges along the way, and I often find myself calling to somebody: "Hang on a second. I'm _______!" but it all works out just fine. When Jason is home, I have the expectation (perhaps foolishly) that I'm going to have a partner. So, when I'm nursing Samantha and the dogs are whining at the door, I don't gently pull her off, put her on her blanket, and go let them out. I call to Jason: "I'm nursing Sam. Please let the dogs out!" Of course, he usually has headphones on and can't hear me. So, I let the dogs out and THEN go track him down and say something like: "Please take off your headphones so you can actively contribute today." And that starts a fight.
Jason asked me to read the novel he's been working on today. He said he would watch Sam while I accomplished this. After about 10 minutes, I heard her fussing and went to check on them. She was lying on the floor, crying, while he sat in a chair across the room playing on his cell phone. That is NOT watching her! When I said, "She is upset. You have to put your phone down and pay attention to her," Jason said: "You're on the phone 90% of the time you're with her." This infuriated me for several reasons, most notably: 1. He's not THERE to know if I'm on my phone and 2. I read the news on my phone while Sam is breastfeeding. This is NOT the same thing.
I started Sam's bedtime at 6:30. I got her in bed by 7:00, but she was up again at 7:20. I made the comment to Jason that: "I don't think you understand that I am still parenting around the clock. Remember when you were on paternity leave and we took turns getting up with her? I still do that. I haven't slept through the night in six and a half months." His comment was: "Well, I go to work. When you make $80,000, you can talk about how hard your life is."
Really?!?! He apologized almost immediately, but such things really can't be taken back once they've left your mouth. I am very, very frustrated.
Jason asked me to read the novel he's been working on today. He said he would watch Sam while I accomplished this. After about 10 minutes, I heard her fussing and went to check on them. She was lying on the floor, crying, while he sat in a chair across the room playing on his cell phone. That is NOT watching her! When I said, "She is upset. You have to put your phone down and pay attention to her," Jason said: "You're on the phone 90% of the time you're with her." This infuriated me for several reasons, most notably: 1. He's not THERE to know if I'm on my phone and 2. I read the news on my phone while Sam is breastfeeding. This is NOT the same thing.
I started Sam's bedtime at 6:30. I got her in bed by 7:00, but she was up again at 7:20. I made the comment to Jason that: "I don't think you understand that I am still parenting around the clock. Remember when you were on paternity leave and we took turns getting up with her? I still do that. I haven't slept through the night in six and a half months." His comment was: "Well, I go to work. When you make $80,000, you can talk about how hard your life is."
Really?!?! He apologized almost immediately, but such things really can't be taken back once they've left your mouth. I am very, very frustrated.