Why my sister can't watch my daughter
My mother has launched a campaign on behalf of my sister. Every single time I see my mother, she says: "You should really let your sister babysit for Samantha." Last night, while we were out eating ice-cream she added: "Samantha doesn't have another biological aunt. It's for HER benefit, not your sister's. You should REALLY let her watch her so they can develop their relationship."
Up until this point, I haven't thought too much about WHY I didn't want Cara watching Sam other than the fact that she has "bad judgement." But after I got home last night, I start thinking through all my whys and wherefores. Here are the real reasons I don't think Cara is an appropriate babysitter for Samantha.
1. Cara thinks she knows more than everyone, ESPECIALLY when it comes to child development and psychology. I don't trust her to follow my instructions. I think that, if she disagreed with something I asked her to do, she would just do it her own way with the justification that: "I'm doing it for Samantha. I know better than her mother what she needs."
2. I don't like the way she interacts with Samantha when the three of us are together. Cara is very apt to snatch Samantha out of my arms without asking either her or me if that's what we want. When Samantha cries, she doesn't always give her back, even when I ask. I have had to get up and forcibly take her because Cara says: "Just let her cry. She has to get used to other people!" Cara uses a loud, shrill voice to talk to Samantha and, even though she can't see that it irritates her, I can.
3. Cara is an alarmist. If Samantha went over to Cara's house and she found a bruise on her, I don't think she would call me and say: "Hey? Did you notice the bruise on her leg? What happened?" I think her mind would instantly go to child abuse. I can SO picture her calling DCFS and thinking: "Rachel's too close to the situation to see what's happening. I'm doing her family a FAVOR by being proactive."
4. I don't think her environment is emotionally stable. Cara has been on psychiatric medicine for the past decade. Her live-in boyfriend is bipolar and is on his own cocktail of drugs. I've gone through a bout of depression myself, and I don't think her issues are her FAULT. However, I don't think she's the appropriate caregiver for my six month old.
So, I know WHY Cara isn't going to watch Samantha. The problem is that these aren't really the sorts of reasons you want to share over a family dinner. I feel like my only option at this point is to keep making up excuses time after time until Cara and my mother give up and stop asking. Sigh!
Up until this point, I haven't thought too much about WHY I didn't want Cara watching Sam other than the fact that she has "bad judgement." But after I got home last night, I start thinking through all my whys and wherefores. Here are the real reasons I don't think Cara is an appropriate babysitter for Samantha.
1. Cara thinks she knows more than everyone, ESPECIALLY when it comes to child development and psychology. I don't trust her to follow my instructions. I think that, if she disagreed with something I asked her to do, she would just do it her own way with the justification that: "I'm doing it for Samantha. I know better than her mother what she needs."
2. I don't like the way she interacts with Samantha when the three of us are together. Cara is very apt to snatch Samantha out of my arms without asking either her or me if that's what we want. When Samantha cries, she doesn't always give her back, even when I ask. I have had to get up and forcibly take her because Cara says: "Just let her cry. She has to get used to other people!" Cara uses a loud, shrill voice to talk to Samantha and, even though she can't see that it irritates her, I can.
3. Cara is an alarmist. If Samantha went over to Cara's house and she found a bruise on her, I don't think she would call me and say: "Hey? Did you notice the bruise on her leg? What happened?" I think her mind would instantly go to child abuse. I can SO picture her calling DCFS and thinking: "Rachel's too close to the situation to see what's happening. I'm doing her family a FAVOR by being proactive."
4. I don't think her environment is emotionally stable. Cara has been on psychiatric medicine for the past decade. Her live-in boyfriend is bipolar and is on his own cocktail of drugs. I've gone through a bout of depression myself, and I don't think her issues are her FAULT. However, I don't think she's the appropriate caregiver for my six month old.
So, I know WHY Cara isn't going to watch Samantha. The problem is that these aren't really the sorts of reasons you want to share over a family dinner. I feel like my only option at this point is to keep making up excuses time after time until Cara and my mother give up and stop asking. Sigh!