Bedtime FAIL
Overall, I don't think I am a bad mother. My daughter goes to the doctor regularly. She takes nightly baths and is dressed in clean clothes. Her diapers are changed on a regular basis, and she eats when she is hungry. I read to her every day, and she owns an assortment of developmentally appropriate toys. I don't have screaming matches with my spouse in front of her. I sing her songs, dance around the house with her, and take her on frequent outings. She is hitting her development milestone appropriately and is generally a healthy, happy little girl.
However, there is one area in which I completely SUCK as a parent: bedtime. I cannot get bedtime right no matter what I do. Samantha absolutely refuses to sleep in her crib. She HATES that thing. When I try to put her in her crib, she screams bloody murder . . . and usually ends up gouging her face with fingernails that seem to do a good job of scratching her no matter how short I trim them. The only place she ever wants to sleep is in her swing . . . but she only likes her swing in the morning. Put her in the swing at 8:00 am, and she will grin contentedly at the mobile for five minutes before drifting off. Put her in the same swing at 8:00 pm, and she will holler furiously, kicking arms and legs so hard that the swing jerks spastically. We have tried a nightly routine of a bath, lotion, and a bottle. We have tried nursing her to sleep. Nothing works well. Usually, she works herself up into an exhaustion-fuelled meltdown at about 11:00 pm. This leads to my walking her around the house on my hip for half an hour, followed by an attempt at nursing (mostly unsuccessful). She has been falling asleep with me on the couch around midnight -- NOT my perfect arrangement.
I am hitting a frustrational wall with her sleeping right now. What seemed tolerable a few weeks ago is quickly becoming too stressful to bear. I feel like I have to brace myself every night around 7:30 -- emotionally fortifying my reserves for what is coming in the next several hours. I know this is a temporary problem. When she is 16 year old, I will not be coaxing her to drink milk and settle down. But right now, it seems like a permanent state. A BAD permanent state.
I am not a fan of the cry-it-out style of parenting. I might feel differently if my daughter could 'cry it out' in five minutes -- but she is far more likely to scream herself hoarse, have a choking fit, and scratch bloody rivets into her cheeks.
However, there is one area in which I completely SUCK as a parent: bedtime. I cannot get bedtime right no matter what I do. Samantha absolutely refuses to sleep in her crib. She HATES that thing. When I try to put her in her crib, she screams bloody murder . . . and usually ends up gouging her face with fingernails that seem to do a good job of scratching her no matter how short I trim them. The only place she ever wants to sleep is in her swing . . . but she only likes her swing in the morning. Put her in the swing at 8:00 am, and she will grin contentedly at the mobile for five minutes before drifting off. Put her in the same swing at 8:00 pm, and she will holler furiously, kicking arms and legs so hard that the swing jerks spastically. We have tried a nightly routine of a bath, lotion, and a bottle. We have tried nursing her to sleep. Nothing works well. Usually, she works herself up into an exhaustion-fuelled meltdown at about 11:00 pm. This leads to my walking her around the house on my hip for half an hour, followed by an attempt at nursing (mostly unsuccessful). She has been falling asleep with me on the couch around midnight -- NOT my perfect arrangement.
I am hitting a frustrational wall with her sleeping right now. What seemed tolerable a few weeks ago is quickly becoming too stressful to bear. I feel like I have to brace myself every night around 7:30 -- emotionally fortifying my reserves for what is coming in the next several hours. I know this is a temporary problem. When she is 16 year old, I will not be coaxing her to drink milk and settle down. But right now, it seems like a permanent state. A BAD permanent state.
I am not a fan of the cry-it-out style of parenting. I might feel differently if my daughter could 'cry it out' in five minutes -- but she is far more likely to scream herself hoarse, have a choking fit, and scratch bloody rivets into her cheeks.