Motherhood

Jan 03, 2012 12:03

Little Samantha Bea was born December 9, 2011 after 30 hours of labor. My water broke Wednesday evening, and Samantha came at 1:22 Friday morning. It has been an interesting transition since we've been home. My mother took a week off work to help us (I had a significant amount of tearing and later developed an infection that landed me in the ER -- so we needed the assistance!). It was great to have her around -- mainly just to assure me that I was doing things correctly. Jason went back to work right before Christmas, so Sam and I have had a little more than a week to work out our schedule on our own.

I have discovered that every day comes with its own challenges. There are some days (like today!) when she nurses, falls asleep, and is content for two or three hours. There are other days that she nurses constantly, never seems full, and fusses endlessly. There have been nights when she has slept almost all the way through (other than a feeding or two) and nights when she hasn't slept at all. I struggle on the days when she refuses to sleep but, when she does sleep, I find myself missing her and checking on her neurotically. My needs have become almost irrelevant. I take a shower when and if she decides to fall asleep after her morning feeding. I eat when and if I can get her settled quietly. Sometimes, when Jason gets home at 9:00, I am still in my pajamas and am eating a dinner of goldfish crackers while she breastfeeds.

I love her tremendously. I worry about her constantly. Life is completely different now. Welcome to motherhood. =)
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