Just another day
I know I don't post offten. Nothing much to say. Life just passes by for the most part. I'm gonna be in town on Friday, for over a week. I'm probably going to go to Tennessee next week though. Need to check on some apartments. My "ex" has been talking to me again. That causes me alot of anger flustration and bad memories. Another friend of mine no longer talks to me, this causes me alot of confusion, and pain at not knowing what happen, other than the reason I have. I thought our friendship was stronger than that. Guess I was wrong, that causes pain to. 'Las' is suppose to be coming in on Monday, can't let my hopes get up about that, but if it happens that will be a ray of happiness grander than I've seen in some time. If it doesn't, well, let's just not think on that shall we.
I'm sitting at the receiver for a load I've been dealing with sense last Wed. I'm sick and tired of it and refuse to move off there property till they take it off. Was suppose to come off last Friday, but they were short so had to reschedule, so they set it for this morning, I was an hour late and they refused cause I was late, and now that is why I'm sitting here waiting.
Gonna see if maybe I can make 'haunt' this year. I know i've been saying that for years, but got to do something.
So what is this all for? Why do we do what we do? I made a rant a couple of years ago about how religion was created to give people something to look forward to. And now I'm seeing why that could be really usefull. I mean I go through the cycle. I getup, I work, I play my game. With eating sleeping, and showering mixed in. It's rather mondain, and boring existence. And to what goal? I mean, I have noone to share my life with currently, and everytime I do have someone I chace them away for some reason or the other. I want excitment in my life. I want a purpose again. I miss having a reason beyond myself to go on. That is part of the reason I'm looking at moving. Possibly in doing so I can find something beyond these 18wheels, to do. This truck has become my padded room. I know I'm safe here, I'm in control here. Noone or nothing can harm me, or tell me I'm worthless. I can manifest my delusion of greatness here. But outside this truck, people exist. These people judge, they belittle, they knock me down. They do it to raise there selves up. They can't seem to coexist with people who are great and ask nothing of them to prove it. I heard someone on the radio the other day that was talking of arrogant (sp?) and confidence. I've been called arrogant a few times now. But by there deffinition I'm not. I would be confident. I don't have to put someone else down to prove my greatness, I know i'm great. Why are people so threatened by this? Why does it pain them to be around someone great? Notice I did not say greater, but great. I don't claim to be better than anyone, I'm simply me. I watch the commuter train go by. All those people just going to and fro work. I envy them, well the happy once atleast, and the once that can put on the show of happiness and people don't try to take it away from them.
Well that is all.
I'm sitting at the receiver for a load I've been dealing with sense last Wed. I'm sick and tired of it and refuse to move off there property till they take it off. Was suppose to come off last Friday, but they were short so had to reschedule, so they set it for this morning, I was an hour late and they refused cause I was late, and now that is why I'm sitting here waiting.
Gonna see if maybe I can make 'haunt' this year. I know i've been saying that for years, but got to do something.
So what is this all for? Why do we do what we do? I made a rant a couple of years ago about how religion was created to give people something to look forward to. And now I'm seeing why that could be really usefull. I mean I go through the cycle. I getup, I work, I play my game. With eating sleeping, and showering mixed in. It's rather mondain, and boring existence. And to what goal? I mean, I have noone to share my life with currently, and everytime I do have someone I chace them away for some reason or the other. I want excitment in my life. I want a purpose again. I miss having a reason beyond myself to go on. That is part of the reason I'm looking at moving. Possibly in doing so I can find something beyond these 18wheels, to do. This truck has become my padded room. I know I'm safe here, I'm in control here. Noone or nothing can harm me, or tell me I'm worthless. I can manifest my delusion of greatness here. But outside this truck, people exist. These people judge, they belittle, they knock me down. They do it to raise there selves up. They can't seem to coexist with people who are great and ask nothing of them to prove it. I heard someone on the radio the other day that was talking of arrogant (sp?) and confidence. I've been called arrogant a few times now. But by there deffinition I'm not. I would be confident. I don't have to put someone else down to prove my greatness, I know i'm great. Why are people so threatened by this? Why does it pain them to be around someone great? Notice I did not say greater, but great. I don't claim to be better than anyone, I'm simply me. I watch the commuter train go by. All those people just going to and fro work. I envy them, well the happy once atleast, and the once that can put on the show of happiness and people don't try to take it away from them.
Well that is all.