Realizations
I haven't had much to post about as work is all that has been going on. I was working on a couple of other things, but I got tired of the constant stres it was causing so I just went to work. ANyway, I was a litle pissed off about something yeasterday, really hurt about the same thing and rather flustrated all around. I was talking to a friend of mine afterwords telling them about it. And they started laughing, at first this sort of bothered me till they explained. It seems the thing I was not realizing was that it's all rather trivial. I was more pissed at myself because I had thought I knew the people involved when apparently I was way off. I tend to bend-over backwards to help people, than they bend-over backwords to hurt me for it. I just need to quit helping people, need to quit being there for people. I know i'm a little fucked in the head, but noone seems to have a problem looking over that when they need something, and than throwing it up in my face as the reason they don't want to have anything to do with me. I'm just rambling I know. I got no reason to let this bother me other than just being another case for the statistics. I'd really like to prove them wrong, but it seems that never happens. The fact seems to be, I'm to messed up for anyone to deal with. OH well, only cost me some money, some heartache, and appears now some wasted time, to find these things out. I should make this post a sticky so I'll always remeber these things and quit forgetting and trying to prove them different.