An undeniable dilemma
I know it's been a while. These days I seem to be slow to respond, but quick to contemplate. For instance, I've adopted a very definite "wait-and-see" attitude with a girl in my life that I think I want to attract, but am not sure how to do it. That doesn't mean that I haven't taken any action on the matter, but rather that I am trying to choose my actions wisely and disperse them sparsely. This contemplative/passive/active pattern seems like it should lend itself to me posting more often, but I'm now a lot more worried about presenting well-considered, unified thoughts rather than just spouting off my own opinion. I've realized that when I do spout or rant, it's usually me simply wanting to feel my power. That's may have been cool enough for me in the past, but I'm now realizing that I want others to feel my power more on the subconscious level. For whatever I do next, I need followers. I'm not accustomed to needing this, and the resulting dilemma more often than not sends me on an individual path rather than a partnership. I realize that I may want to be the change I want to see in others, but for it to matter, they have to want to go along with my flow. Time to contemplate.