inside a desturbed mind

[tce]

ive concluded that there is no heaven or is there a hell. all there is, is darkness. once you life is up thats it. its over, done, finished. at first i was afraid of death. but now i welcome it. each day i wake up hating my life more and more. for every step forward i end up take 4 steps backwards. i feel like i am spinning my tires. and going nowhere. people say that my life is cool its not. no one knows the real me. my family is a shame. in public its a cheery and happy but at home its nothing but silence or arguing. my whole life has been a sham. nothing about me is really real its all a smoke and mirrors. there is nor future for me here. the only future here for me is my death.

ive played the card that i was dealt and i was dealt the losing hand

i failed

so when i look into a mirror i see me staring back asking my self do you realy want to wake to another day of this?