Happy Christmas Eve.

[tc_the_she]

My eyes are a tad glazed over from staring blankly at the computer all day. I've been so tired that I really haven't done anything. It's still quite a blow to me that I'm back. It's even more of a blow that Laurence isn't. How is it possible to get so attached so quickly? But even as I wonder about that, I have to admit that all the most important non-family relationships in my life have happened similarly. I tend to dive head-first. Could be a good or bad thing. I dunno. Either way, it's happened. It's funny; we're across the Atlantic from one another, but my tummy still gets butterflies when he says certain things. I honestly just want to reach out and touch him. I want to feel him. How did any of this happen? I cannot and do not doubt his love and devotion. I trust him. I just... I want him here with me. I want to sob right now! But there isn't a bit of good that it would do. It's Christmas Eve, I'm healthy and so is he, we're with our families, and no one is at a loss for amenities. I should be happy.

So I will be. I'll smile and be grateful for all this good fortune. When he calls tomorrow, we'll talk as usual, and I'll dream of our next encounter... When next our fingers will touch, eyes will meet, noses nudge...

Happy Christmas Eve.