Best Day Ever
Hello Everyone~
Today had to be one of the best days that I have had in a while. Minus a few mishaps and discomforts. But thats not the point. Ok so there's this boy and he's an x-boyfriend of mine and I just can never get past the fact that what we had before is over now. Everytime I am in a relationship I can't keep it going because I am in love with this boy and he doesn't seem to notice my love for him. Even though its so passionate and comes out when I am with him. He still sees me as a friend.
Being his friend is more than enough, I mean I could just be in the same room with him and be happy. What we had was the greatest thing I have ever expierenced. I mean ok, so the relation lasted for about two weeks, as do all my relationships now, mmm could this be coincidence??? Anyways, those were the happiest two weeks of my life, he meant everything to me, I cannot say that I loved him, but that feeling developed over time. We spent as much time as we could together. I would go and see him at work and talk to him on the phone for hours and go to the movies with him, your typical boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. But then when I left on vaction for Arizona it seems as if things just began to fall apart. He wouldn't talk to me for more then 5 minutes and always seemed to be making up excuses for me to call him back.
The night I came back home I called to tell him that I was home, and that I couldn't wait to see him, but something wasn't right. This time he didn't answer the phone. HE ALWAYS ANSWERS THE PHONE FOR ME! So I was kind of like ok well maybe he's at work or something. I show up to his work, thats how eager I was to see him, but he wasn't there. He called in sick. I was so confused, so then I jumped to the conclusion that he was sleeping. Boy was I wrong. He was out with his friends getting completely wasted and when I called I heard the worst possible thing ever. I was on the phone and I remember this very vividly. I was on the phone and was like Hello. He replied as usual with, Whats up. But he was completely wasted. So I was trying to understand him but really couldn't then all of a sudden you hear. "Ashley, Ashley... No no don't go. Stay. Does anybody have a condom?" I was like what? How is this possible? How could you do this to the one person you said that you cared about and loved to be with all the time and loved to just hold in your arms? How! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!? That's what I was thinking of when I heard this, and then the tears came rolling down my cheekbones, and my heart must of shattered into a million peices and all was silent. Not a word was spoken after those 12 horrifying words. I had no choice but to hang up on him. Then I let my anger get to me, and had my friend call him back and tell him that it was over. Then I my friend told me that he called me a bitch and a stupid little whore? How could I be a stupid little whore when your the one that is asking for condoms while your girlfriend is on the phone? I don't understand that. Later on that night he called me and was like in a very soft whisper "Katy.. Katy.. Are you there.." I thought the nerve of him to call me after all he said to me and did to me. But something gave in and I answered " Yea I am here.." he goes did you try and call me earlier. I was like yes and he was like I'm sorry I didn't get your call I past out, but I heard that we are no longer together. I thought, your damn right you heard it because I was the one that said it! He was like yea I heard from my friend, who answered the phone, that you broke up with me. I was like yea that happened because I thought you cheated on me. He was like look can we talk about this in the morning? So I was like yea sure.
The next day I called him, as I was supposed to and he answered. I was like hello. It was an awkward silence for a duration of the conversation. Then he said I think we need a break! THIS TIME THERE WAS NO HOLDING BACK! I SAID A BREAK FROM WHAT WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER TWO WEEKS AND I HAVE ONLY SAW U ONE WEEK OF THE TWO!!! SO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU NEED A BREAK FROM! He says your to young. I was like well how long is this break gunna be. He goes I don't know. I was like HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY NOT KNOW! He goes I just don't well I go I am not gunna wait for you to make up your mind. If I am too young then fine. But I am not about to wait for you. That ended everything, our relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend, and our overall friendship.
Four months later I decide to go to dinner where he works. I wasn't sure if he had worked at that time or not. But when I walked in he walked right past me couldn't even look me in the eye. Just like he couldn't even look me in the eye when he said he wanted a break. The whole time I was there it was the most akward feeling ever. He wouldn't even talk to me. I was so sad and sickened by this I had to leave.
The next month, about a month into school, my friend the one who had been through the whole thing with me took me to lunch where he worked. Unfortunately, in which she knew he was working, she had some guys come with us. But before they showed up the one came and started talking to me and my friend and she told him about the guys and all that and I told him how I was scared and he was like good luck. They walked in and I thought I nearly lost my sight. As rude as that was it was the truth and I got up and told the one to sit in the inside incase I had to go to the bathroom. So here I am on the edge of my seat and my seat trying to keep as far of a distance as possible from the kid that I was sat next to and you can see my x in the corner trying to hold back the laughter he had bottled up inside. Then I got up to go to the rest room and my x (on the way back from the bathroom that is) was like pst.. Katy come here. So I went and started talking to him and he was like move over a little, and then just started cracking up. I was like its not funny its disgusting and he was like yea well if you need to get away come and talk to me. I was like alright then. So I talked to him a couple times.
Then later on I called him. This was a while after the blind date incident, and it was an out of the blue call. He was so nice we talked for quite a while. So then he told me to call him the next day, and I did and he was like can me and my friend stop by.. I was like sure why not, because lets face it, I would do anything to be near him. I would do anything to have it the way we had it before. ANYTHING! So him and his friend came over and we all played basketball and he told me to call him later that night and I did and he was all dissappointed because I didn't show up to see him at work. But oh well. Then we stopped talking for a while after that, like it got all wierd between us for like no reason. I mean I was so lost as to why. But then like a little while later he gave me a ride home. Thats when I decided I loved him and that no matter what he does I can't get enough of him.
Which brings me to today. After all the shit I have been hearing about him dating some chick from my school. Turns out that he really wasn't and listen now. So I called him up as a last resort because I just got home from this game and it was like 7:30 and I hadn't eaten anything yet. So I called him and he didn't answer. Which was typical. So I didn't expect to hear from him because thats how it usually goes down. But then the phone rang and I thought it was like my dad or something. But no it was him. I was like what the heck! So I answered it and I was talking to him, and I was like God I haven't eaten all day. He was like I will take you to get food if you pay. I was like seriously. He was like yea my families out of town and I have nothing to do and all I have eaten all day is potatoe chips because I have no one to make food for me. So I was like I will make you food. He was like seriously. I was like hell yea. He was like so are you trying to chill. I was like yea. Hold on. Then I discussed it with my sister and her friend and we decided that he should come over, and so he did. He gets to my house and at first its just me and him and we are just like hangin out and like stuff and then my sister got home and we went to mcdonalds because I couldn't make food, because it took to long. So he was like lets go to McDonalds so we did and it all unfolded to be a wonderful night. SO hear I am love struck and happy as could be!
It was a fantastic ending to my day and a fantastic last good-bye before I left for Florida. What could be better then spending time with the person your obsessed with?
Closing to this journal is the song that I dedicate to him and its these lines that get me everytime
"Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide"
Meaning.. Even though the best times decline into the worst and even though you say the wrong words they are right... And out of everything that I have doubted about you.. You and I were meant to be.
Today had to be one of the best days that I have had in a while. Minus a few mishaps and discomforts. But thats not the point. Ok so there's this boy and he's an x-boyfriend of mine and I just can never get past the fact that what we had before is over now. Everytime I am in a relationship I can't keep it going because I am in love with this boy and he doesn't seem to notice my love for him. Even though its so passionate and comes out when I am with him. He still sees me as a friend.
Being his friend is more than enough, I mean I could just be in the same room with him and be happy. What we had was the greatest thing I have ever expierenced. I mean ok, so the relation lasted for about two weeks, as do all my relationships now, mmm could this be coincidence??? Anyways, those were the happiest two weeks of my life, he meant everything to me, I cannot say that I loved him, but that feeling developed over time. We spent as much time as we could together. I would go and see him at work and talk to him on the phone for hours and go to the movies with him, your typical boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. But then when I left on vaction for Arizona it seems as if things just began to fall apart. He wouldn't talk to me for more then 5 minutes and always seemed to be making up excuses for me to call him back.
The night I came back home I called to tell him that I was home, and that I couldn't wait to see him, but something wasn't right. This time he didn't answer the phone. HE ALWAYS ANSWERS THE PHONE FOR ME! So I was kind of like ok well maybe he's at work or something. I show up to his work, thats how eager I was to see him, but he wasn't there. He called in sick. I was so confused, so then I jumped to the conclusion that he was sleeping. Boy was I wrong. He was out with his friends getting completely wasted and when I called I heard the worst possible thing ever. I was on the phone and I remember this very vividly. I was on the phone and was like Hello. He replied as usual with, Whats up. But he was completely wasted. So I was trying to understand him but really couldn't then all of a sudden you hear. "Ashley, Ashley... No no don't go. Stay. Does anybody have a condom?" I was like what? How is this possible? How could you do this to the one person you said that you cared about and loved to be with all the time and loved to just hold in your arms? How! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!? That's what I was thinking of when I heard this, and then the tears came rolling down my cheekbones, and my heart must of shattered into a million peices and all was silent. Not a word was spoken after those 12 horrifying words. I had no choice but to hang up on him. Then I let my anger get to me, and had my friend call him back and tell him that it was over. Then I my friend told me that he called me a bitch and a stupid little whore? How could I be a stupid little whore when your the one that is asking for condoms while your girlfriend is on the phone? I don't understand that. Later on that night he called me and was like in a very soft whisper "Katy.. Katy.. Are you there.." I thought the nerve of him to call me after all he said to me and did to me. But something gave in and I answered " Yea I am here.." he goes did you try and call me earlier. I was like yes and he was like I'm sorry I didn't get your call I past out, but I heard that we are no longer together. I thought, your damn right you heard it because I was the one that said it! He was like yea I heard from my friend, who answered the phone, that you broke up with me. I was like yea that happened because I thought you cheated on me. He was like look can we talk about this in the morning? So I was like yea sure.
The next day I called him, as I was supposed to and he answered. I was like hello. It was an awkward silence for a duration of the conversation. Then he said I think we need a break! THIS TIME THERE WAS NO HOLDING BACK! I SAID A BREAK FROM WHAT WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER TWO WEEKS AND I HAVE ONLY SAW U ONE WEEK OF THE TWO!!! SO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU NEED A BREAK FROM! He says your to young. I was like well how long is this break gunna be. He goes I don't know. I was like HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY NOT KNOW! He goes I just don't well I go I am not gunna wait for you to make up your mind. If I am too young then fine. But I am not about to wait for you. That ended everything, our relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend, and our overall friendship.
Four months later I decide to go to dinner where he works. I wasn't sure if he had worked at that time or not. But when I walked in he walked right past me couldn't even look me in the eye. Just like he couldn't even look me in the eye when he said he wanted a break. The whole time I was there it was the most akward feeling ever. He wouldn't even talk to me. I was so sad and sickened by this I had to leave.
The next month, about a month into school, my friend the one who had been through the whole thing with me took me to lunch where he worked. Unfortunately, in which she knew he was working, she had some guys come with us. But before they showed up the one came and started talking to me and my friend and she told him about the guys and all that and I told him how I was scared and he was like good luck. They walked in and I thought I nearly lost my sight. As rude as that was it was the truth and I got up and told the one to sit in the inside incase I had to go to the bathroom. So here I am on the edge of my seat and my seat trying to keep as far of a distance as possible from the kid that I was sat next to and you can see my x in the corner trying to hold back the laughter he had bottled up inside. Then I got up to go to the rest room and my x (on the way back from the bathroom that is) was like pst.. Katy come here. So I went and started talking to him and he was like move over a little, and then just started cracking up. I was like its not funny its disgusting and he was like yea well if you need to get away come and talk to me. I was like alright then. So I talked to him a couple times.
Then later on I called him. This was a while after the blind date incident, and it was an out of the blue call. He was so nice we talked for quite a while. So then he told me to call him the next day, and I did and he was like can me and my friend stop by.. I was like sure why not, because lets face it, I would do anything to be near him. I would do anything to have it the way we had it before. ANYTHING! So him and his friend came over and we all played basketball and he told me to call him later that night and I did and he was all dissappointed because I didn't show up to see him at work. But oh well. Then we stopped talking for a while after that, like it got all wierd between us for like no reason. I mean I was so lost as to why. But then like a little while later he gave me a ride home. Thats when I decided I loved him and that no matter what he does I can't get enough of him.
Which brings me to today. After all the shit I have been hearing about him dating some chick from my school. Turns out that he really wasn't and listen now. So I called him up as a last resort because I just got home from this game and it was like 7:30 and I hadn't eaten anything yet. So I called him and he didn't answer. Which was typical. So I didn't expect to hear from him because thats how it usually goes down. But then the phone rang and I thought it was like my dad or something. But no it was him. I was like what the heck! So I answered it and I was talking to him, and I was like God I haven't eaten all day. He was like I will take you to get food if you pay. I was like seriously. He was like yea my families out of town and I have nothing to do and all I have eaten all day is potatoe chips because I have no one to make food for me. So I was like I will make you food. He was like seriously. I was like hell yea. He was like so are you trying to chill. I was like yea. Hold on. Then I discussed it with my sister and her friend and we decided that he should come over, and so he did. He gets to my house and at first its just me and him and we are just like hangin out and like stuff and then my sister got home and we went to mcdonalds because I couldn't make food, because it took to long. So he was like lets go to McDonalds so we did and it all unfolded to be a wonderful night. SO hear I am love struck and happy as could be!
It was a fantastic ending to my day and a fantastic last good-bye before I left for Florida. What could be better then spending time with the person your obsessed with?
Closing to this journal is the song that I dedicate to him and its these lines that get me everytime
"Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide"
Meaning.. Even though the best times decline into the worst and even though you say the wrong words they are right... And out of everything that I have doubted about you.. You and I were meant to be.