its pounding
Is it wrong of me if everytime I feel like something is wrong to go shopping?
I have gone shopping so much in the past couple months...?
I have this thing where everytime I go shopping I have to buy a hoodie :/
and Im in love with the little kids aberc. hoodies...there the only ones I like
Anytime I buy jeans, a hoodie, or underwear...I get really excited lol
It was just a random thing I felt I needed to let everyone know?
I've decided that if anyone is going to like pop...it can only be Pepsi and if it is diet it has to be diet Coke but I dont do pop unless I have a craving but thats not very often...so the new pop has changed it used to be water but that doesnt keep you alive or awake so I changed it...its ice tea which has always been my favorite and I used to be afraid that people would think I was weird because I liked tea but its ok because everyone does but the only good kinds are Arizona...thats my fav it puts me in a good mood...and Lipton Brisk that is also really good_besides the fact that the lipton reminds me of my dead grandma :(
I have this gut feeling...about what...I couldnt tell you but I hurts...really bad
I dont know why or how but it does
I worry ALOT about everything once Im told something or think something it gets stuck in my head all day and I think about it 24/7 my head starts to hurt and my brain feels like its swelling and about to burst
I sit down and try to do something but all I can do is think about it! I dont know if there is a name for this type of thing but its killing me...your killing me...everyones killing me
I cant take anymore of me worrying and everytime I sit down wait a couple minutes because my eyes are going crazy and looking everywhere my head spins my heart feels like its in my throat and is beating a hundred times harder and faster then normal...its almost like Im choking on my own heart
crying makes my eyes hurt...which makes me not be able to wear my contacts...which makes me have to wear my glasses...which makes me not happy
Oh wait but not like that matters anyways because Im already crying and I know its not because Im super happy/excited/lets throw a party happy. Its because Im a normal person just like everyone else out there in this world Im no different then you yourself...so stop acting like Im not
start realizing that I am a human being and I know YOU
I dont know every move you make I dont know every word you speak and I dont know every single little thing that is going through your mind...Ive let you in...whens my chance?
When my head stops spinning and my throat isnt swollen and I can see clearly then I will finish my couple words that I have to say because Im not one with words...I have nothing to complain about...and nothing to not look forward to...Im content but content doesnt mean everything...things are constantly changing...Im scared._is it wrong that every word you say is always on my mind...that I worry about you and your mind constantly
I feel like a little kid...you know when you used to play in the clothing racks at stores and your mommy would walk away to another rack and you would come out and not be able to see her...you look around in of what you can see without moving then your body starts to tingle and you start running you go around every rack running in to people and then just stop thinking the worst thing ever...you lost..your lost...but then theres hope you turn around in multiple circle and stop, hoping to see her...you take a couple step and see your mommys shoes you run and see her and you give her a huge hug and say "mommy I thought I lost you!" (all worried inside) and then she says back:
"Im right here...I always am and I always will be..."
You get a warm feeling inside and grasp her hand and never let go...because you hate that feeling of being lost, confused, scared and your fear of being without her.
I have gone shopping so much in the past couple months...?
I have this thing where everytime I go shopping I have to buy a hoodie :/
and Im in love with the little kids aberc. hoodies...there the only ones I like
Anytime I buy jeans, a hoodie, or underwear...I get really excited lol
It was just a random thing I felt I needed to let everyone know?
I've decided that if anyone is going to like pop...it can only be Pepsi and if it is diet it has to be diet Coke but I dont do pop unless I have a craving but thats not very often...so the new pop has changed it used to be water but that doesnt keep you alive or awake so I changed it...its ice tea which has always been my favorite and I used to be afraid that people would think I was weird because I liked tea but its ok because everyone does but the only good kinds are Arizona...thats my fav it puts me in a good mood...and Lipton Brisk that is also really good_besides the fact that the lipton reminds me of my dead grandma :(
I have this gut feeling...about what...I couldnt tell you but I hurts...really bad
I dont know why or how but it does
I worry ALOT about everything once Im told something or think something it gets stuck in my head all day and I think about it 24/7 my head starts to hurt and my brain feels like its swelling and about to burst
I sit down and try to do something but all I can do is think about it! I dont know if there is a name for this type of thing but its killing me...your killing me...everyones killing me
I cant take anymore of me worrying and everytime I sit down wait a couple minutes because my eyes are going crazy and looking everywhere my head spins my heart feels like its in my throat and is beating a hundred times harder and faster then normal...its almost like Im choking on my own heart
crying makes my eyes hurt...which makes me not be able to wear my contacts...which makes me have to wear my glasses...which makes me not happy
Oh wait but not like that matters anyways because Im already crying and I know its not because Im super happy/excited/lets throw a party happy. Its because Im a normal person just like everyone else out there in this world Im no different then you yourself...so stop acting like Im not
start realizing that I am a human being and I know YOU
I dont know every move you make I dont know every word you speak and I dont know every single little thing that is going through your mind...Ive let you in...whens my chance?
When my head stops spinning and my throat isnt swollen and I can see clearly then I will finish my couple words that I have to say because Im not one with words...I have nothing to complain about...and nothing to not look forward to...Im content but content doesnt mean everything...things are constantly changing...Im scared._is it wrong that every word you say is always on my mind...that I worry about you and your mind constantly
I feel like a little kid...you know when you used to play in the clothing racks at stores and your mommy would walk away to another rack and you would come out and not be able to see her...you look around in of what you can see without moving then your body starts to tingle and you start running you go around every rack running in to people and then just stop thinking the worst thing ever...you lost..your lost...but then theres hope you turn around in multiple circle and stop, hoping to see her...you take a couple step and see your mommys shoes you run and see her and you give her a huge hug and say "mommy I thought I lost you!" (all worried inside) and then she says back:
"Im right here...I always am and I always will be..."
You get a warm feeling inside and grasp her hand and never let go...because you hate that feeling of being lost, confused, scared and your fear of being without her.