BACKLOG: Kurt confronting Blaine about what Mercedes told him
Who: Kurt & Blaine
Where: The loft by the record shop
When: September 9, 1956 (backlog)
What: Finding out the truth
Rating: PG-ish
Warnings: NONE!
Blaine waited at the front end of the alley near the record shop, sipping a Coke. He could get used to the glass bottles, he concluded, even if he did really wish that the portable coffee cup had been invented already. Drinking only one cup in the morning or if he went to the diner was one of those tiny changes that made everything feel off-kilter. But at least he had his own bottle opener now - trying to figure out how to open it on the counter had been an awkward couple days.
This part of the day was his favorite - getting to see Kurt. It had been a few weeks of seeing him every day, either at school or in the afternoons, and he really liked the guy. Kurt was so strong, so incredible under all the things he had to be afraid of, and Blaine wanted to just be able to coax him out a little. Show him that there were worse things in life than being who you are...of course, that could have just been his own frustration over having to tone himself down, too. If he stuck to the peppy, dapper songster, people liked him well enough, but it was like having to act a little all day. He would much rather be home. ...But Kurt was his bright spot. He had even zipped out of school early to try to get every minute he could, not bothering to stop at his locker after classes let out, because he could barely wait to meet Kurt and slip up to the landing together.
Kurt spotted Blaine immediately and despite the nagging feeling in his gut that Blaine was more than he’d told him, he smiled. He always smiled when he saw Blaine. Blaine was... everything Kurt had ever wanted and more. He just couldn’t tell the world that and it hurt. He hurried up to the other boy, clasping his hands together slightly nervously.
“I have... something I think we need to talk about. Alone.” That was never a good sign and he hadn’t really meant to come across so ominous. Honestly, Kurt had been planning to tell Blaine his feelings but then when Mercedes told him... things changed. He needed to know because if it was true, it all made so much more sense.
That didn’t sound good at all. Blaine’s mouth went dry and he swallowed, nodding a little. “Okay,” he said, blinking, as he tried to tell himself that it was probably nothing too serious.
Kurt let them into the little room and then turned, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh. “I was talking with Mercedes earlier and she told me something very... interesting.” He started out, watching Blaine for any type of reaction. “Any idea what that might be?”
“Was it about the new Vogue? Because I was going to pick it up today on the way home, but I’d rather check it out with you,” Blaine offered hopefully. He didn’t know for sure what Kurt was getting at, but the fact that it was Mercedes made Blaine think it was probably about...well, their real homes. But in case that wasn’t what Kurt knew, or in case Kurt only knew part of it, he wasn’t going to say too much until he had to. If Kurt didn’t know yet, it might spook him and he needed Kurt to trust him.
The look on Kurt’s face should have been answer enough, but he spoke as well. “No, Blaine, it wasn’t about the new Vogue.” He wouldn’t mind leafing through it with him, though. “Now, I first thought it sounded like something from television or the movies, but the more I thought the more it made sense. She told me that she was from the future, Blaine. She was born... 1994 or something and that she didn’t know why or how she was here but... I believe her. And that got me thinking... about you, about the things you’ve said to me and done without thinking, about how confused some simple things like a jukebox make you...”
It had been embarrassing enough when it happened and Kurt had teased him only a little, but still. He was tempted to defend himself and deflect it, but at the same time...keeping this secret didn’t feel any better than keeping the other, and it was starting to really wear on him. And Kurt didn’t look panicked by the idea, so honesty seemed best. “Yes,” he replied simply, glancing away and hitching his bag up on his shoulder more. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how to tell you. It all sounds so crazy...”
“You’re right, it sounds crazy and I wouldn’t even have believed it but... like I said, it makes sense. I don’t understand it, but it... it would explain so much.” He said softly, shrugging his shoulders a bit.
“I didn’t want you to think I was crazy,” Blaine offered with a faint, almost shy smile. “I don’t know how it happened, I went to bed and the next morning just woke up here.” It was hard to talk about, he missed his old life so much sometimes - the freedom it brought, the ability to just be himself instead of hiding everything important in his life. He was glad Kurt didn’t seem freaked out by it - he couldn’t handle losing Kurt in all of this, too.
Kurt sighed, nodding a little. “That’s what Mercedes said too. I don’t... I can’t even wrap my head around it or imagine what this must be like for you.” He said softly, taking a step closer. Blaine looked so sad all of a sudden, Kurt just wanted to hug him.
“It’s not easy,” he gave a small shrug. “You know, it’s kind of isolating - there are only a few of us, and keeping it secret...well, you know how hard that is.” He flashed a smile for Kurt, because it was true: if anyone could understand the weight of it without experiencing the actual jump, it was him.
He nodded, smiling sadly and moving to take Blaine into his arms. That had become almost commonplace for them now, hugging each other or being close when they were alone. It was nice and Kurt didn’t want it to stop any time soon. “I don’t know how much it means, but I’m very glad you’re here...”
Blaine smiled sadly, wrapping his arms around Kurt. “You’re the best thing here for me. For what that’s worth. Meeting you - knowing you...”
Kurt face lit up in a smile at that. “That... brings me to the other thing I wanted to talk about, actually.” He said gently, pulling back just enough to look at him but didn’t move his arms away.
“What?” Blaine asked. It felt like what Kurt wanted to talk about was kind of big, and he really hoped he didn’t say the wrong thing because he really cared about Kurt and didn’t want to screw this up.
Kurt shifted nervously in Blaine’s arms and swallowed hard before meeting his eyes again. “I... feel so many things when I’m with you, Blaine. Things I never thought I’d feel and things I thought for sure I’d never be able to tell someone that I felt.” He paused, suddenly more nervous. He hoped Blaine understood.
That was not what Blaine had been expecting. He felt like there was something there, but with everything about their situation, he had been trying not to think about Kurt like that. To not start thinking about all the things they could maybe have if they’d met under different circumstances - as just two boys over coffee in 2011 or something. And he’d never had a boyfriend, so he really didn’t know what he was doing, and Kurt was the only thing keeping him remotely sane in the 50s. “Wow,” he murmured, trying to come up with the right thing to say and drawing a blank. “Kurt, I...”
Kurt’s face fell despite himself and he sighed. “I... shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry...” He pulled away then, heading towards the little window to stare down at the street. “Just... forget I said anything, okay?”
“Kurt,” Blaine said quietly. “I-...I don’t know what I’m doing. I never had a boyfriend in a time when it wasn’t such a horrible thing for me to have one. I really don’t know how to have one here, when I wouldn’t even be able to go on a date with you or...or be like a couple. And the last thing I want is for you to get hurt. I need you too much for that.” He cringed because that sounded like he was dumping him and clinging to him at the same time, and that wasn’t what he was trying to say - not really.
Kurt frowned deeply then and leaned against the window frame, watching people walk by with a heavy sigh. “I shouldn’t have said anything... just forget it. We... we’re friends, that’s all.” he said sadly. Why had he thought that things would be any different?
“I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this,” he admitted quietly. He paused and drew in a deep breath before taking another stab at an explanation. “I like you Kurt, I like you so much. I couldn’t do any of this without you, but it’s more than that. I’ve never felt this connected to anyone, I’ve never wanted to be around anyone as much as you. You...you are the single most incredible person I have ever met.”
He sighed and kept staring out the window, looking rather forlorn. “But you don’t want to be with me... I understand.”
“No- No,” Blaine replied quickly, moving to stand beside Kurt. “I want to. I just don’t know...how. If I’d met you before, I would know what that meant. Here, where we can’t let anyone know about ourselves let alone about each other...I don’t want to risk you getting hurt. Or sent away somewhere.” The thought was terrifying and made him nauseous to even consider. Kurt looked so sad it made him ache even more, and he wanted to just hold him and magically get them to another time, another place, something. “Why couldn’t I have met you then?” he murmured, reaching over to take Kurt’s hand.
Feeling Blaine’s hand in his, Kurt looked over at him slowly, his light eyes still a little sad. “I’ve never done anything like this before either, but I... I want to try, Blaine. With you. I’ve never felt like this before and it scares me and knowing the consequences if we’re caught scare me but we can’t just not live our lives for fear of being found out.”
In truth, if they were in modern day there would be a lot of obstacles and things to be scared of, too, but Blaine wouldn’t let it stop him then. Why was this different? Blaine turned to face Kurt and moved his other hand to Kurt’s jaw, cupping it as he leaned in to kiss him deeply.
Kurt hadn’t been expecting that at all but now that it was happening, he found himself lost in the moment. His eyes fluttered closed and he turned a little more to better return the kiss, draping his arms over Blaine’s shoulders easily. This was so much different than Karofsky’s kiss, this was... heaven.
Blaine was so glad when Kurt didn’t push him away, and he pulled back slowly, blushing. He couldn’t believe he had just done that. He couldn’t believe he had just kissed Kurt like that.
He smiled softly, letting his fingertips gently brush over the nape of Blaine’s neck as he looked down into his eyes. “I’m going to take that as you agreeing with me...”
Blaine laughed softly, a nervous, giddy smile on his face. “Yeah.”
“Then why did you stop?” He asked gently and leaned a little closer still.
Blaine grinned and leaned in again for another kiss, pulling Kurt gently into his arms. He hoped that wasn’t too much, but he wanted him close. He loved the way Kurt felt near him, the way his lips felt, the sensation of kissing another boy like this - one he liked so much...he deepened the kiss.
A soft sound of content left Kurt’s lips then as he returned the kiss. He shifted closer at Blaine’s urging, marvelling at how wonderful it felt to be this close to him. When he finally pulled back slowly, smiling down at him, Kurt was flushed red. “Did you still want to browse the new Vogue with me?”
Blaine blushed, not sure what else to say. He could barely concentrate on anything except how amazing Kurt’s eyes looked from this close. And he couldn’t stop smiling. “Of course,’ he replied, his arms still around Kurt.
“We could go back to my house. My copy is there and dad’s not home. He won’t be home until late. He told me this morning that he had a big thing to work on today at the shop.” Kurt replied, fingertips brushing over the nape of Blaine’s neck again, liking how it felt.
Blaine swallowed hard, not sure if this was one of those times where his upbringing meant that he had a very different sense of things than Kurt did. Because in the 1950s, he doubted that the connotation of “come hang out in my house without my dad there” meant “let’s spend all afternoon making out in my room”...right? But either way, really, his answer was yes. He wanted to spend time with Kurt. He wanted to spend every minute he possibly could with him. “Sounds great,” he replied.
Where: The loft by the record shop
When: September 9, 1956 (backlog)
What: Finding out the truth
Rating: PG-ish
Warnings: NONE!
Blaine waited at the front end of the alley near the record shop, sipping a Coke. He could get used to the glass bottles, he concluded, even if he did really wish that the portable coffee cup had been invented already. Drinking only one cup in the morning or if he went to the diner was one of those tiny changes that made everything feel off-kilter. But at least he had his own bottle opener now - trying to figure out how to open it on the counter had been an awkward couple days.
This part of the day was his favorite - getting to see Kurt. It had been a few weeks of seeing him every day, either at school or in the afternoons, and he really liked the guy. Kurt was so strong, so incredible under all the things he had to be afraid of, and Blaine wanted to just be able to coax him out a little. Show him that there were worse things in life than being who you are...of course, that could have just been his own frustration over having to tone himself down, too. If he stuck to the peppy, dapper songster, people liked him well enough, but it was like having to act a little all day. He would much rather be home. ...But Kurt was his bright spot. He had even zipped out of school early to try to get every minute he could, not bothering to stop at his locker after classes let out, because he could barely wait to meet Kurt and slip up to the landing together.
Kurt spotted Blaine immediately and despite the nagging feeling in his gut that Blaine was more than he’d told him, he smiled. He always smiled when he saw Blaine. Blaine was... everything Kurt had ever wanted and more. He just couldn’t tell the world that and it hurt. He hurried up to the other boy, clasping his hands together slightly nervously.
“I have... something I think we need to talk about. Alone.” That was never a good sign and he hadn’t really meant to come across so ominous. Honestly, Kurt had been planning to tell Blaine his feelings but then when Mercedes told him... things changed. He needed to know because if it was true, it all made so much more sense.
That didn’t sound good at all. Blaine’s mouth went dry and he swallowed, nodding a little. “Okay,” he said, blinking, as he tried to tell himself that it was probably nothing too serious.
Kurt let them into the little room and then turned, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh. “I was talking with Mercedes earlier and she told me something very... interesting.” He started out, watching Blaine for any type of reaction. “Any idea what that might be?”
“Was it about the new Vogue? Because I was going to pick it up today on the way home, but I’d rather check it out with you,” Blaine offered hopefully. He didn’t know for sure what Kurt was getting at, but the fact that it was Mercedes made Blaine think it was probably about...well, their real homes. But in case that wasn’t what Kurt knew, or in case Kurt only knew part of it, he wasn’t going to say too much until he had to. If Kurt didn’t know yet, it might spook him and he needed Kurt to trust him.
The look on Kurt’s face should have been answer enough, but he spoke as well. “No, Blaine, it wasn’t about the new Vogue.” He wouldn’t mind leafing through it with him, though. “Now, I first thought it sounded like something from television or the movies, but the more I thought the more it made sense. She told me that she was from the future, Blaine. She was born... 1994 or something and that she didn’t know why or how she was here but... I believe her. And that got me thinking... about you, about the things you’ve said to me and done without thinking, about how confused some simple things like a jukebox make you...”
It had been embarrassing enough when it happened and Kurt had teased him only a little, but still. He was tempted to defend himself and deflect it, but at the same time...keeping this secret didn’t feel any better than keeping the other, and it was starting to really wear on him. And Kurt didn’t look panicked by the idea, so honesty seemed best. “Yes,” he replied simply, glancing away and hitching his bag up on his shoulder more. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how to tell you. It all sounds so crazy...”
“You’re right, it sounds crazy and I wouldn’t even have believed it but... like I said, it makes sense. I don’t understand it, but it... it would explain so much.” He said softly, shrugging his shoulders a bit.
“I didn’t want you to think I was crazy,” Blaine offered with a faint, almost shy smile. “I don’t know how it happened, I went to bed and the next morning just woke up here.” It was hard to talk about, he missed his old life so much sometimes - the freedom it brought, the ability to just be himself instead of hiding everything important in his life. He was glad Kurt didn’t seem freaked out by it - he couldn’t handle losing Kurt in all of this, too.
Kurt sighed, nodding a little. “That’s what Mercedes said too. I don’t... I can’t even wrap my head around it or imagine what this must be like for you.” He said softly, taking a step closer. Blaine looked so sad all of a sudden, Kurt just wanted to hug him.
“It’s not easy,” he gave a small shrug. “You know, it’s kind of isolating - there are only a few of us, and keeping it secret...well, you know how hard that is.” He flashed a smile for Kurt, because it was true: if anyone could understand the weight of it without experiencing the actual jump, it was him.
He nodded, smiling sadly and moving to take Blaine into his arms. That had become almost commonplace for them now, hugging each other or being close when they were alone. It was nice and Kurt didn’t want it to stop any time soon. “I don’t know how much it means, but I’m very glad you’re here...”
Blaine smiled sadly, wrapping his arms around Kurt. “You’re the best thing here for me. For what that’s worth. Meeting you - knowing you...”
Kurt face lit up in a smile at that. “That... brings me to the other thing I wanted to talk about, actually.” He said gently, pulling back just enough to look at him but didn’t move his arms away.
“What?” Blaine asked. It felt like what Kurt wanted to talk about was kind of big, and he really hoped he didn’t say the wrong thing because he really cared about Kurt and didn’t want to screw this up.
Kurt shifted nervously in Blaine’s arms and swallowed hard before meeting his eyes again. “I... feel so many things when I’m with you, Blaine. Things I never thought I’d feel and things I thought for sure I’d never be able to tell someone that I felt.” He paused, suddenly more nervous. He hoped Blaine understood.
That was not what Blaine had been expecting. He felt like there was something there, but with everything about their situation, he had been trying not to think about Kurt like that. To not start thinking about all the things they could maybe have if they’d met under different circumstances - as just two boys over coffee in 2011 or something. And he’d never had a boyfriend, so he really didn’t know what he was doing, and Kurt was the only thing keeping him remotely sane in the 50s. “Wow,” he murmured, trying to come up with the right thing to say and drawing a blank. “Kurt, I...”
Kurt’s face fell despite himself and he sighed. “I... shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry...” He pulled away then, heading towards the little window to stare down at the street. “Just... forget I said anything, okay?”
“Kurt,” Blaine said quietly. “I-...I don’t know what I’m doing. I never had a boyfriend in a time when it wasn’t such a horrible thing for me to have one. I really don’t know how to have one here, when I wouldn’t even be able to go on a date with you or...or be like a couple. And the last thing I want is for you to get hurt. I need you too much for that.” He cringed because that sounded like he was dumping him and clinging to him at the same time, and that wasn’t what he was trying to say - not really.
Kurt frowned deeply then and leaned against the window frame, watching people walk by with a heavy sigh. “I shouldn’t have said anything... just forget it. We... we’re friends, that’s all.” he said sadly. Why had he thought that things would be any different?
“I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this,” he admitted quietly. He paused and drew in a deep breath before taking another stab at an explanation. “I like you Kurt, I like you so much. I couldn’t do any of this without you, but it’s more than that. I’ve never felt this connected to anyone, I’ve never wanted to be around anyone as much as you. You...you are the single most incredible person I have ever met.”
He sighed and kept staring out the window, looking rather forlorn. “But you don’t want to be with me... I understand.”
“No- No,” Blaine replied quickly, moving to stand beside Kurt. “I want to. I just don’t know...how. If I’d met you before, I would know what that meant. Here, where we can’t let anyone know about ourselves let alone about each other...I don’t want to risk you getting hurt. Or sent away somewhere.” The thought was terrifying and made him nauseous to even consider. Kurt looked so sad it made him ache even more, and he wanted to just hold him and magically get them to another time, another place, something. “Why couldn’t I have met you then?” he murmured, reaching over to take Kurt’s hand.
Feeling Blaine’s hand in his, Kurt looked over at him slowly, his light eyes still a little sad. “I’ve never done anything like this before either, but I... I want to try, Blaine. With you. I’ve never felt like this before and it scares me and knowing the consequences if we’re caught scare me but we can’t just not live our lives for fear of being found out.”
In truth, if they were in modern day there would be a lot of obstacles and things to be scared of, too, but Blaine wouldn’t let it stop him then. Why was this different? Blaine turned to face Kurt and moved his other hand to Kurt’s jaw, cupping it as he leaned in to kiss him deeply.
Kurt hadn’t been expecting that at all but now that it was happening, he found himself lost in the moment. His eyes fluttered closed and he turned a little more to better return the kiss, draping his arms over Blaine’s shoulders easily. This was so much different than Karofsky’s kiss, this was... heaven.
Blaine was so glad when Kurt didn’t push him away, and he pulled back slowly, blushing. He couldn’t believe he had just done that. He couldn’t believe he had just kissed Kurt like that.
He smiled softly, letting his fingertips gently brush over the nape of Blaine’s neck as he looked down into his eyes. “I’m going to take that as you agreeing with me...”
Blaine laughed softly, a nervous, giddy smile on his face. “Yeah.”
“Then why did you stop?” He asked gently and leaned a little closer still.
Blaine grinned and leaned in again for another kiss, pulling Kurt gently into his arms. He hoped that wasn’t too much, but he wanted him close. He loved the way Kurt felt near him, the way his lips felt, the sensation of kissing another boy like this - one he liked so much...he deepened the kiss.
A soft sound of content left Kurt’s lips then as he returned the kiss. He shifted closer at Blaine’s urging, marvelling at how wonderful it felt to be this close to him. When he finally pulled back slowly, smiling down at him, Kurt was flushed red. “Did you still want to browse the new Vogue with me?”
Blaine blushed, not sure what else to say. He could barely concentrate on anything except how amazing Kurt’s eyes looked from this close. And he couldn’t stop smiling. “Of course,’ he replied, his arms still around Kurt.
“We could go back to my house. My copy is there and dad’s not home. He won’t be home until late. He told me this morning that he had a big thing to work on today at the shop.” Kurt replied, fingertips brushing over the nape of Blaine’s neck again, liking how it felt.
Blaine swallowed hard, not sure if this was one of those times where his upbringing meant that he had a very different sense of things than Kurt did. Because in the 1950s, he doubted that the connotation of “come hang out in my house without my dad there” meant “let’s spend all afternoon making out in my room”...right? But either way, really, his answer was yes. He wanted to spend time with Kurt. He wanted to spend every minute he possibly could with him. “Sounds great,” he replied.