Hmmm...
Hello, lj world! Yes, I am still alive. Sorry it's been so long. Life has been kind of crazy. New year, new house, new job...it kind of feels like I've started a whole new life. Last month seems so long ago I can barely remember what it was like. But at least I'm starting to settle into this new routine (finally).
So, you ask, after all these months, what has prompted this return to livejournaling?
Very good question.
The answer is...quite random and bizarre coincidence (if you believe in coincidences). Earlier today, I was browsing facebook as I do every day, when I stumbled across something that gave me a LONG pause. That moment when you see yourself in someone else...is strangely disturbing and wonderful at the same time. Wonderful because in this large and crazy world, so many times I feel alone - like nobody truly understands me or has experienced the things I have experienced in the way that I've experienced them. To some extent, this must be true, since we are each unique, and our experiences unique. HOWEVER, I do think it is a basic human need to feel understood, and to know that we are not alone, and that at least one person out there has felt as we feel. So it's wonderful to see that I am not, in fact, alone. It is also disturbing, because this particular experience was not something I would wish on anyone (although in some respects, I'd wish it on everyone).
When you see someone exactly where you once were, especially when that is such a heart-wrenching place to be, you can't help but want to reach out to them, and let them know they're not alone - especially if when you were there, you felt the most alone you ever have, and all you wanted at the time was someone you could talk to who truly understood. The weird part is, this is a person I really don't know very well at all. An acquaintance from way back in high school...a friend of a friend of a friend (or something like that)...who I don't think I've ever even had a one-on-one conversation with. I don't know anything about this person, except for what I see on facebook, basically. So I feel awkward reaching out, and I'm fairly certain the helping hand I'm extending won't be taken, because the groundwork isn't there. But I still can't help but try. If nothing else, at least the person now knows that someone else has been there, survived, and come out better on the other side. It's what I needed most when I was there, and never really got. So I just hope that the full meaning behind my words has reached this person, and hopefully helped in some small way.
Anyway, sorry for the vagueness, I'm simultaneously trying to protect this person's identity and also not come across the wrong way to anyone involved in the situation who might read this (and I know of at least one). This is not in any way meant to express an opinion on anyone else's situation, or "take sides" or anything remotely like that. I'm just so overwhelmed by this NEED to reach out...it's weird what seeing such a heart-wrenchingly familiar situation in someone else does to you (or to me, anyway). Oh well, I feel I've done what I can do, and that's all I can do.
Also, my current music I heard on the radio on my way home from work tonight. I hadn't heard it in YEARS, but it seems strangely appropriate to all this. It's so funny how the radio always seems to somehow know what songs to play as a soundtrack to my life, lol :) I love it!
In other news, I just bought myself two new books with some Barnes & Noble gift cards we had lying around! My book list last year was just pitiful...I really hope to get back to reading more this year. Having some new books will definitely help! I've got two new Orson Scott Card books and now another new author's book on or on their way to my shelf. And part of me is still hoping for an earlier-than-expected release of book three of the Kingkiller Chronicle...though I doubt that will happen, lol, books tend to come out LATER than expected, not earlier :-P But you never know, right? Stranger things have happened!
And now I need to go to sleep, because I'm getting up even earlier than usual tomorrow to go try to change my address on my registration before work. They really should have the tag offices open outside of normal business hours...the DMV is open on Saturdays, so why can't they be, too?!? Oh well.
Goodnight!
So, you ask, after all these months, what has prompted this return to livejournaling?
Very good question.
The answer is...quite random and bizarre coincidence (if you believe in coincidences). Earlier today, I was browsing facebook as I do every day, when I stumbled across something that gave me a LONG pause. That moment when you see yourself in someone else...is strangely disturbing and wonderful at the same time. Wonderful because in this large and crazy world, so many times I feel alone - like nobody truly understands me or has experienced the things I have experienced in the way that I've experienced them. To some extent, this must be true, since we are each unique, and our experiences unique. HOWEVER, I do think it is a basic human need to feel understood, and to know that we are not alone, and that at least one person out there has felt as we feel. So it's wonderful to see that I am not, in fact, alone. It is also disturbing, because this particular experience was not something I would wish on anyone (although in some respects, I'd wish it on everyone).
When you see someone exactly where you once were, especially when that is such a heart-wrenching place to be, you can't help but want to reach out to them, and let them know they're not alone - especially if when you were there, you felt the most alone you ever have, and all you wanted at the time was someone you could talk to who truly understood. The weird part is, this is a person I really don't know very well at all. An acquaintance from way back in high school...a friend of a friend of a friend (or something like that)...who I don't think I've ever even had a one-on-one conversation with. I don't know anything about this person, except for what I see on facebook, basically. So I feel awkward reaching out, and I'm fairly certain the helping hand I'm extending won't be taken, because the groundwork isn't there. But I still can't help but try. If nothing else, at least the person now knows that someone else has been there, survived, and come out better on the other side. It's what I needed most when I was there, and never really got. So I just hope that the full meaning behind my words has reached this person, and hopefully helped in some small way.
Anyway, sorry for the vagueness, I'm simultaneously trying to protect this person's identity and also not come across the wrong way to anyone involved in the situation who might read this (and I know of at least one). This is not in any way meant to express an opinion on anyone else's situation, or "take sides" or anything remotely like that. I'm just so overwhelmed by this NEED to reach out...it's weird what seeing such a heart-wrenchingly familiar situation in someone else does to you (or to me, anyway). Oh well, I feel I've done what I can do, and that's all I can do.
Also, my current music I heard on the radio on my way home from work tonight. I hadn't heard it in YEARS, but it seems strangely appropriate to all this. It's so funny how the radio always seems to somehow know what songs to play as a soundtrack to my life, lol :) I love it!
In other news, I just bought myself two new books with some Barnes & Noble gift cards we had lying around! My book list last year was just pitiful...I really hope to get back to reading more this year. Having some new books will definitely help! I've got two new Orson Scott Card books and now another new author's book on or on their way to my shelf. And part of me is still hoping for an earlier-than-expected release of book three of the Kingkiller Chronicle...though I doubt that will happen, lol, books tend to come out LATER than expected, not earlier :-P But you never know, right? Stranger things have happened!
And now I need to go to sleep, because I'm getting up even earlier than usual tomorrow to go try to change my address on my registration before work. They really should have the tag offices open outside of normal business hours...the DMV is open on Saturdays, so why can't they be, too?!? Oh well.
Goodnight!