November 9, 2016
gave up on sleeping.
I am going to sit here and write.
I'm just going to outright say it. 2016 is well and truly fucked.
Where is God in all of this?
There is so much fear. There is so much turmoil. I've lost too many people. There's been too many changes. And now Trump.
Where is God in all of this?
It is obvious that yesterday is the culmination of a backlash that started 8 years ago. I have received so many messages last night from friends, dear friends of mine, who are terrified. And I fear deeply for so many of my friends. Because the backlash will not only continue, it will just get worse. For my Muslim friends. For my queer friends. For my friends of color.
For my family. For my son.
God, where are you in all of this?
I sit here, in the dark, and I remember.
"I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands,
and I would not be comforted.
I remembered you, God and I groaned;
I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.
You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;" (Psalm 77)
I sit, and think of my ancestors who were brought over by slavery.
I think of all those who marched for the freedom we have now.
And I feel the Holy Spirit gather me close.
It hasn't changed, the mandate from Him. To act justly, to love mercy, to walk humbly with our God.
If anything, this is the time where it's needed most.
It is time.
I think of earlier this year, when I visited Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's grave.
I think of legacy. Of following in footsteps of those before me.
I think of stories.
The need for stories has never been any stronger. And the Holy Spirit uses stories to knit people together.
Where are you? I ask God.
Here, he says. In the margins. In the fight for justice. In the caring for others. In the listening, and the silence, and the creation of safe spaces. And in the stories.
If we truly believe God is Love, then the God I serve is the God of the marginalized. Of the persecuted. Of the disowned. Of the ones who don't fit in.
This is where the fight begins...
...except the fight has always been happening.
History has shown this.
My job is simply this:
to continue to fight for unity.
to continue to fight for equality.
to continue to tell stories
to treat people with dignity
to show God's love and grace
to love
to love
to love
Come, Holy Spirit.
Because we will need you now more than ever in these following days.
It is morning. November 2016. And I am awake.