(no subject)

[tboertih]

lying on my dreams
holding all my tears
tell me why the drama
tell me why the fears
tell me all the reasons
for keeping hope alive
tell me all the reasons
for dreaming of only lies
tell me why the people in your life
always seem to come and go
tell me why even though i hate it
it is always seemingly so

i wrote this before i knew after i got off the phone with you at first and felt replacement and rejection then i talked to you on the phone again and out of your mouth and with your words i knew honesty and i knew replacement and rejection they stood before me and stared straight into my eyes and showed me the darkness that i had never wanted to see i felt the darkness of my tears i couldnt speak i couldnt breathe i wanted to die i felt betrayed i knew betrayal i had been betrayed but for some reason as the situation unfolded in front of friends while they were feeling hatred all i could do was tell them they were wrong though feeling like i was all alone knowing i was surrounded by nothing but friends i couldnt believe what i had heard i didnt want to but i accepted it for what it was all i wanted was the best last night i was trying to fix things but i guess thats impossible when theres something broken that you dont even know about the first one hurt the most

-dedicated you know who you are 3-20-05