summer funk (this entry does contain bitching and its long!)
another summer, another funk. i have been kinda depressed, aggravated, and frustrated all summer. it started with finals probably. i got the worst gpa ever, and that's totally my fault, but still a huge downer. i did have a few hard classes all at once that would have been better to take in different semesters, but i realized that a little late.
things started going downhill when i got asked to move out of this apartment. mindy, i'm not trying to make you feel guilty (or any specific emotion for that matter), i'm just writing about my feelings. it really just hurts so bad, like to think that someone doesnt want you in their house anymore. it has done nothing but stress me out, depress me, and make me feel bad about myself. i understand that it may be for the best in the long run, but as of now, i can only see the negative.
finding a roommate and/or a decent place to live that is not shit but not too expensive either has proved to be a real challenge. i can't help but think about it daily. it has plagued my thoughts constantly this summer. i know that everything will work out like it always does, but it was just a huge stress. things are perking up in that department, and i'll know around 5 pm today if my parents offer was accepted on a condo.
another downer is my job. the management is horrible and i can't stand to work there. its slow in summer to boot and the money is not very good at all. it is so hard to force myself to work there and pick up extra shifts and not give up mine when i totally dread going there at all. but i know i can't quit until i have another job. i had an interview today at pier 1, and it went well, but she's only hiring 1 or 2 people and you never know who you're up against. i'll know about that this afternoon. if that doesn't happen, i need to start applying at a bunch more places. the fact that she actually called me in is exciting, because i saw a stack of at least 30 applications in a folder and she apparently is only interviewing 3 or 4 people.
ive also had so many other things to do, yet rarely get anything done. i'm taking cmst 2010 by correspondence. the lessons are boring and take a few hours each and its hard to find the time/discipline to sit down and do it. also, i'm supposed to be planning a deltasig fundraiser (probably a golf tourney) and thats stressing me, too. i really haven't gotten anything done, and it's creeping up on me faster than i realize.
i have been so tired that i don't know what to do about it anymore. i'm going to the doctor today to get blood work done to see if maybe i have some sort of iron deficiency or the like that is making it so hard to wake up and making me need tons of sleep. and waking up right before you need to be somewhere is another stress.
there are a few bright spots. i've loved hanging out and going out with everyone. ya'll are the best, like david says, i love my friends and we have an awesome group. ya'll keep me going. christiana, thanks for listening to me and being so sweet. matt, you're a great best friend and i love you. maybe i don't give you enough credit sometimes, but thanks for being there. brennan, i'm so glad to be hanging out with you. you take the best pics and post them so fast and you make me smile (ha i'm a chesse). everyone else, you're great, too, but obviously there is too much to list. my parents and sister have been the best, too. i realize more and more the older i get that i have wonderful parents. they are so willing to help and are always there for me.
I really do hate to be the one bitching, and don't feel the need for a comment or advice, i just have never really vented via lj, and i thought i'd give it a whirl. but other good news, i've lost about 25 lbs this summer, and i hope to make it 50 before school starts. it feels good to finally be doing this for myself.
and from a news aspect...***Look for a facebook invite to a b-day dinner and going out combo for Tuesday July 19th, because I'll be 21!***
things started going downhill when i got asked to move out of this apartment. mindy, i'm not trying to make you feel guilty (or any specific emotion for that matter), i'm just writing about my feelings. it really just hurts so bad, like to think that someone doesnt want you in their house anymore. it has done nothing but stress me out, depress me, and make me feel bad about myself. i understand that it may be for the best in the long run, but as of now, i can only see the negative.
finding a roommate and/or a decent place to live that is not shit but not too expensive either has proved to be a real challenge. i can't help but think about it daily. it has plagued my thoughts constantly this summer. i know that everything will work out like it always does, but it was just a huge stress. things are perking up in that department, and i'll know around 5 pm today if my parents offer was accepted on a condo.
another downer is my job. the management is horrible and i can't stand to work there. its slow in summer to boot and the money is not very good at all. it is so hard to force myself to work there and pick up extra shifts and not give up mine when i totally dread going there at all. but i know i can't quit until i have another job. i had an interview today at pier 1, and it went well, but she's only hiring 1 or 2 people and you never know who you're up against. i'll know about that this afternoon. if that doesn't happen, i need to start applying at a bunch more places. the fact that she actually called me in is exciting, because i saw a stack of at least 30 applications in a folder and she apparently is only interviewing 3 or 4 people.
ive also had so many other things to do, yet rarely get anything done. i'm taking cmst 2010 by correspondence. the lessons are boring and take a few hours each and its hard to find the time/discipline to sit down and do it. also, i'm supposed to be planning a deltasig fundraiser (probably a golf tourney) and thats stressing me, too. i really haven't gotten anything done, and it's creeping up on me faster than i realize.
i have been so tired that i don't know what to do about it anymore. i'm going to the doctor today to get blood work done to see if maybe i have some sort of iron deficiency or the like that is making it so hard to wake up and making me need tons of sleep. and waking up right before you need to be somewhere is another stress.
there are a few bright spots. i've loved hanging out and going out with everyone. ya'll are the best, like david says, i love my friends and we have an awesome group. ya'll keep me going. christiana, thanks for listening to me and being so sweet. matt, you're a great best friend and i love you. maybe i don't give you enough credit sometimes, but thanks for being there. brennan, i'm so glad to be hanging out with you. you take the best pics and post them so fast and you make me smile (ha i'm a chesse). everyone else, you're great, too, but obviously there is too much to list. my parents and sister have been the best, too. i realize more and more the older i get that i have wonderful parents. they are so willing to help and are always there for me.
I really do hate to be the one bitching, and don't feel the need for a comment or advice, i just have never really vented via lj, and i thought i'd give it a whirl. but other good news, i've lost about 25 lbs this summer, and i hope to make it 50 before school starts. it feels good to finally be doing this for myself.
and from a news aspect...***Look for a facebook invite to a b-day dinner and going out combo for Tuesday July 19th, because I'll be 21!***