Day 21 - Shared Delusions - [Peter/Neal] R
Title: Shared Delusions
Author: turtlebaby_02
Fandom: White Collar
Written For: mmom 2014
Characters (Pairings): Peter/Neal
Rating: I'm gonna go with a strong R
Word Count: 1180
Warnings: Unbeta'd
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. I'm just playing.
Summary: Neal's been having a dream, it's making him crave reality
Author's Notes: So late. Again. Ugh, nightshift with 'lets firewall the fun stuff!' computers makes me unproductive.
It wasn't the dream itself that he found disturbing, he'd had similar dreams in the past. Hell, he's a red blooded male - he'd been having sex dreams since adolescence. It wasn't even the subject matter. He'd dreamt often enough of coworkers and friends of both sexes since his mind decided that familiar faces made better place holders than fake bodies in magazines. Peter had starred before, both with and without his wife.
What got Neal this time was the intensity of it. Maybe the intensity was directing connected to the repetitiveness of it - three nights in a row and it was getting near impossible to look the other man in the eye.
He'd wake up either aching hard or already sticky, his heart pounding in his ears. He'd finish himself off and climb in the shower on shaky legs, flashes of the dream playing through his mind like a movie reel.
Peter on his knees, eyes blown and black as he gazed up.
Peter gasping and tugging on his hair as he swallowed him down.
Peter above him.
Peter behind him leaving bruises on his hips.
And there in the shower he could feel the remnants of the dream so clearly; sure of the fingertip bruises and stubble burn, positive he'd find marks along his throat in the mirror, every shift brought the anticipation of the ache in his ass that never came - he was wrecked and exposed and vulnerable in a way that scared him, just a little.
After a week of nighttime antics with his subconscious, when the real life Peter finally frowned and said "Buddy, you look like shit. Have you been sleeping ok?" It was all he could do to retain his composure and not run away.
It had been a long time since he'd felt this open, this known. And the kicker was that it was all imaginary. But that didn't stop him from adjusting his collar to hide the love bites that weren't there.
"Weird dreams." Was all he could find to mumble. It took a moment for him to realize that Peter was scrutinizing him hard, a blush high on his cheeks. "What?"
"Me too." He'd swallowed hard and shifted the car to drive. "You're there. In them. My dreams." They slowed at a light and he brushed his fingers over his lips, traced a line down his jaw and lingered, thoughtlessly, over a spot just below his ear.
The same spot Neal could vividly remember catching with his lips. "Peter..." His heart was hammering. "What color are the sheets?"
Peter glanced at him sharply but his eyes swam out of focus. "Dark. A dark blue." He licked his lips.
"Yeah." Neal couldn't tear his eyes away from Peter's face; the tight clench of his jaw.
"They're just dreams, Neal." He was white knuckling the steering wheel.
"I know." He finally turned away and stared blindly out the window at the tail lights in front of them. "I have to check. Every morning." He chose his next words very carefully. "For evidence of you."
"I think we've gone crazy." Peter laughed a little, dryly, it sounded like it hurt. "This is insane."
"You've got a scar on your hip."
"And you've got freckles on your ass. Jesus, Neal." Peter spit back. "What's going on?"
"I don't know, but if you figure it out will you tell me? I could really use a sex free sleep." He rolled his shoulders.
"I know the feeling. I don't even have this much sex with my wife." Peter slid him a glance. "This is awkward."
"You think?" Butterflies had set up a nest in his gut.
"What happens now?"
"Maybe now that we've discussed it, it'll stop." Neal tried for optimism. "And if it doesn't we could always..."
"That is not anywhere close to an acceptable solution." Peter interrupted that train of thought.
"But it's good, Peter." His mind ached with memory. "God, tell me it's not good from your side."
Peter flushed. "It is. But Neal, I'm married."
His fingers suddenly itched to touch the other man, to feel him solid and warm and real. So he did, a hand over his arm, hot under the sleeve of his jacket. "Peter."
His friends fingers tensed and relaxed on the steering wheel. "I can't." The words sounded slightly strangled. "I can't, Neal."
"Then you need to get out of my head. Because, Peter, you are. We are. Every night." He pulled his hand away and sighed.
The silence stretched and neither man moved to cover it with the radio. They made it all the way to the office without another word. Neal was halfway out of the car before he had the engine off but stopped when Peter spoke, soft and low. "She knows."
"And?"
"I'll ask her."
Neal nodded and climbed out, slamming the door behind him and walked away, leaving Peter alone in the car.
--
The rest of the day passed slowly, both men dancing around each other awkwardly; earning them strange looks from their coworkers.
Neal took a cab home. He drank an entire bottle of wine with his dinner and prayed for dreams about kittens and rainbows as he flipped off the lights and got into bed.
He was almost asleep when a soft knock jolted him awake. He pulled open the door and smiled crookedly at Peter. "I don't usually know I'm dreaming while I'm dreaming."
Peter raised half his mouth in a smirk and handed over his cell phone without a word. Neal took it with raised eyebrows. "Hello?"
"I'm giving you permission to have sex with my husband." Elizabeth's voice was chipper. "But only once. After that, if you want to do it again, we're going to have to talk. Deal?"
Neal swallowed hard and lifted wide eyes to the amused look on Peter's face. "Can we just arrange that meeting right now?"
Elizabeth laughed. "Go ahead and let him stay tonight. If he's not home by morning, I'll assume you want to keep him and bring breakfast."
"Elizabeth, are you sure?" He had to ask. He had to, for his peace of mind and for Peter's.
"It's been inevitable from the beginning, sweetie. Just be careful with him, ok? He's bossy and pushy but he doesn't invest his body where he doesn't invest his heart." Her voice dipped and Neal heard the love there. "Be gentle with him."
"I will, Elizabeth." Peter broke out in a smile and Neal felt a swell of desire and his heart cracked a little at the unguarded love he saw there. "I really will."
"Good. Have fun. Goodnight Neal, pass me back to Peter?" Neal handed over the phone and stepped close into Peter's space and Peter pulled him closer, holding him flush against him, one hand already creeping under his shirt.
"I love you too, hon." Peter licked at his lips and Neal shivered. "I see you tomorrow." He hung up and there was nothing between them but fabric.
The buildup of dreams didn't compare to reality. And yeah, it was good.
kbye! :D