Erratic Behavior [Peter/Neal/Elizabeth] R
Title: Erratic Behavior
Author:
turtlebaby_02
Fandom: White Collar
Written For:
mmom 2014
Characters (Pairings): Peter/Neal/Elizabeth
Rating: R
Word Count: 795
Warnings: Unbeta'd
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. I'm just playing.
Summary: Elizabeth has some trouble with airport security.Author's Note: Ok, I know you guys don't know 'the blue one' because it's featured in another unpublished fic, but that'll get up eventually and this will make much more sense. Also, some obvious flails at how airport security works because I don't work for the airport nor do I fly more than once a year.
"Ma'am?" The overworked security agent waved her closer. "We're going to need to take a closer look inside your bag."
Elizabeth pinked and forced a smile across her face. "Sure. Ok." She knew exactly what was causing the ruckus. It was her own fault. "That's fine."
Her carry on appeared from the X-ray machine and she fumbled to get her shoes back on her feet. Of course it was going to be the blue one. All the times she'd carried various vibrators, dildos, and plugs through airport security and she would forget to take the batteries out of the blue one. She sighed.
Gloved hands sifted through her bag, searching for the offending item and she grit her teeth for the the look.
There it was. She knew the very instant his hand wrapped around it and she forced down a giggle. She covered her mouth and faked a cough. The agent looked up with eyebrows raised. "Oh, come on. Tell me that's the first one you've seen." She finally gasped out. "I suppose with batteries in it it looks a little suspicious." She knew she was babbling. Not a lot of things embarrassed her anymore, she was too damn old to worry about what people thought of her kinks.
But it was the blue one.
She snorted into her hand. The poor guy holding her toy tore his eyes off it just long enough to meet her eyes and she nearly collapsed with the weight of her giggles as they finally exploded out.
She sobered pretty quick as a hand landed heavy on her shoulder. "Ma'am? I'm going to have to ask you to please step behind this door with me." A far less amused agent was standing behind her, seriousness etched across her features.
"Am I being detained?" Elizabeth was incredulous. "Over a dildo?" More giggles escaped and and clapped a hand over her mouth.
"It shouldn't take but a few minutes. We just need to be sure you're alright to board." She was frowning. "It's not the object we're concerned about." She frowned a little deeper. "But your behavior has been a little erratic since it's discovery. Please ma'am, you're holding the line." She turned away and El followed, doing her best to keep her serious face in the game.
She was led to a small room right off the security line. "Someone will be right with you." And then she was alone.
The woman was barely out the door before she was on her phone, dialing her husband. "Agent Burke's phone." Neal's chipper voice greeted her.
"Neal, it's El. Can talk to Peter?"
"Oh hi, Elizabeth. I thought you had a flight?"
She snorted again. "I've been detained."
There was long pause. "For what?"
"Someone forgot to separate the batteries from her toy." El laughed again. "And they went through my bag."
"And?" Neal actually sounded confused.
"Apparently my behavior is erratic." She couldn't seem to keep a straight face.
"Okaaaaay." Neal dragged the word out. "Peter's in a meeting at the moment."
"Neal. It's the blue one." She gasped back another laugh. "And some poor unsuspecting guy just fished it out of my bag and held it up."
"Oh my God." It was Neal's turn to laugh. "Why would you... and why wouldn't you just check it!"
"I like that one! If they lose my bag... I really like it, Neal." She dropped her voice low. "When I use it on myself, I imagine using it on you."
Neal drew in a sharp breath. "Elizabeth..."
"And you know how much I like to fuck you with it." She sighed, happily submersed in her fantasy. "I just wanted to give Peter a heads up that I might have to use the old My husband works for the FBI card. In case he gets a call."
"That his wife is being detained with a giant blue dildo?!" Neal gasped out. "Oh, please. Please let that happen."
"He does look good in embarrassment red, doesn't he?" She was grinning like a fool. "I'm sure I'll get it cleared up before his meeting is even over."
Neal laughed, full and delighted. "Have a safe trip, Elizabeth. Call us tonight?" It was his turn to drop to a whisper. "We'll make this worth the trouble."
"You know I love dirty promises." She sat up a little straighter as the door swung open. "Ok Sweetie, I'll call you when I land."
She hung up before Neal could answer and turned to the TSA official who had walked into the room. "Please tell me I'm not going to miss my flight?" She nodded toward her bag in the other man's hand. "I've got big plans tonight."
And somehow, after everything, she pulled that off with a straight face.
~
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