and the circle goes around again
and again and again. I really don't know what to do anymore. There really isn't anything i can do. I just feel completely worthless in the eyes of the few women i have ever cared about. I want the world, anything, everything, I want it. I will not be one of the masses that has never accomplished anything. But, more than anything i want to share those things with the woman i love. I want to make that girl happier than she has ever been, because i know she makes me feel the same way. I'm not a cheater, i don't talk down, i show nothing but respect and caring, and i still know how to make her smile, or melt with a whisper. Yet still I remain without. I've experienced so much in my life, had great friends, and sadly a few have moved on. I've climbed mountains, rode waves, flown, camped with nothing but the clothes on my back. It feels like i have seen and done so much, except for the one thing that has mattered to me since the 4th grade. The hardest part about the whole thing is how close i have been to that happiness i speak about. That amazing warm feeling that comes from so deep inside. Either I find her or she finds me, it has happened both ways, the only thing in common is the lack of commitment. If only for a short while, all i need is that chance, let yourself fall and i will catch you. They say it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I almost died tuesday night which would make i think the third time and it kills me to know that i have never shared love for anyone but my family. All i know is that my heart is filled with love just take my hand and look me in the eyes...