Lonely Heart's Sorrow (ch 8 and 9)
Title: A Lonely Heart’s Sorrow
Author: Dragonfly (TBD)
Rating: T+
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay
Summary: How does Lindsay move on from Danny’s betrayal?
Spoliers: Set after season 4. No spoilers for season 5.
Here is the ending to my latest fic. Thanks to SallyJetson for the beta.
Chapter 8: We Meet Again:
She struggles to breathe as her attacker retains his hold around her neck, pushing her spine firmly against the wall.
“How dare you call my wife! What gives you any right, you bitch?” Mike spits, his breathe and saliva hot against her face. “What? You think its fun breaking up a guy’s marriage?”
She gathers her strength and with her remaining breath gives him a swift kick where it counts, making him fall quickly to the floor, releasing his grip. She leans against the wall catching her breath, keeping her distance, always aware of his movements. “You’re the one that cheated on your wife. Why would you cheat if you wanted to stay married?”
“Look you fucking whore, I love my wife.” He grunts from the floor, still clutching his manhood. “We’re happy. She’s a great wife, a fantastic mother and still one of the best fucks in town.”
“I guess you would know as you’ve probably sampled them all.”
Suddenly Mike is on his feet and he swings his arm back to hit Lindsay but she’s too quick as she grabs his arm, twists it around his back and nails his front to the wall.
“What gives you any fucking right?” he snarls, struggling against her hold, their roles now reversed.
“If you love her so much why go around sleeping with other women?”
“That has nothing to do with her. It’s just sex. So I like to try something new when I’m away on business, it makes me feel good and nobody gets hurt. We both knew last night was just a one-night fling in a hotel. If you aren’t into that, I’d suggest you stopping flirting with guys in hotel bars.”
“Nobody gets hurt?” Her hold on his arm twisting a little further. “How’s your wife feeling right now? Are you still telling me nobody gets hurt?”
“Well if you hadn’t phoned her up she’d be fine. Her pain is your fault! I mean who does that?”
“My fault? You cheat on your wife and it’s my fault?”
“Montana, is everything alright around here?” Danny asks as he takes in the scene of his partner holding her own against the jerk from last night who’s still incapacitated against the wall.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just leaving,” he states as she slowly releases him from her hold. As he walks away, staying far away from both of them, mumbling under his breath, “Why do I always end up with the psychos?”
“Montana, you okay?” His hand going to her neck, seeing the fresh redness against her pale skin, his blood boiling at the damage inflicted. “You wait here while I go after him.”
“No Danny, let’s just get out of here.” Their eyes lock for a moment, silent messages passing, before he nods and slowly moves his hand from her neck, caressing with his touch.
She turns away from him, already moving to the door, moving away from the feelings caused from the brief contact of his fingers on her skin.
Chapter 9: Full Circle:
She stares out the car window, her body’s stillness a contrast to the rapid movements of her mind, her thoughts ping-ponging through the ups and downs of the weekend, and of their relationship. She knows now what she needs, knows that one more backward glance is necessary in order to truly more forward.
“Why’d you cheat on me?”
The small breath of air escapes his lungs before he can prevent it, as the ride takes an unexpected turn. He doesn’t want to go through it again, rehashing the past, reliving their downfall, his downfall. He’d said everything months ago, not that she had been in the mood to listen, to hear his pleas and explanations. Maybe this time would be different, maybe this time she’d hear the things he couldn’t truly say. “I told you, it wasn’t anything to do with you. It was just sex. Just a way to make the pain go away.”
“Can guys really do that? Just separate things so completely? Make sex meaningless?”
Her calmness unnerves him, and he wonders if discussing his infidelity in a small vehicle while going 80 mph is actually such a good idea. “Linds, do you really want to talk about this again?”
“I …I just want to understand, I mean has cheating become such a commonplace thing that it’s suddenly all right as long as nobody knows? Am I the one overreacting about this whole thing? Does it simply deserve a slap on the wrist and the uttering of “boys will be boys?”
He knows the importance of this conversation, knows that everything depends on how he words his response, knows that he may never get this chance again. “Cheating is wrong. I was wrong. I know that. I’ve always known that. Right after it happened, I knew that I couldn’t escape from what I’d done; there was just so many other things in my head that clouded that for a while. If I had been in my right mind I would never have done it. You’re not overreacting. I messed up, messed up big, I lost you and now I have to try to live with that.” He chances a glance towards her, but her body is already turned away staring into the blurs of the world outside her window, unsure is she’s even heard him, unsure if she even cares.
She has heard him, she’d heard it before too but somehow this time is different. This time she puts her feelings of betrayal and hurt aside to truly examine their lives, to analyze it as if they were pieces of evidence before her. She compares the acts of two very different men, both undergoing the same sinful act; one through grief and sorrow, desperate to feel again, to keep away the pain, one through pleasure alone, the thrill of the chase, the risk and excitement. She may not be ready to forgive him, but maybe she’s closer to understanding him.
The rest of the ride is held in silence, each lost in their thoughts, but this time it isn’t awkward, just peaceful.
Slowly Danny weaves through the city traffic and pulls up to her building. “Here we are.” He turns to her, unsure if the weekend was a step forward or a step back, but not ready to let her go.
“Thanks. You know you were right back there. We do make a good team.”
“Always have.”
“Maybe…maybe we could try to work on it outside of work too. I mean, not like that,” she replies blushing, “not like before. I’m not ready for that … not yet, but maybe as friends again? Maybe sometime we could watch Jaws together or something.”
“I’d like that,” he smiles.
“Good,” she smiles back before getting out of the car. She feels good about them for the first time since it happened. They weren’t back together, and maybe never would be, but it was high time she refound the friend she had lost and that was enough for her, for the moment anyway.
Author: Dragonfly (TBD)
Rating: T+
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay
Summary: How does Lindsay move on from Danny’s betrayal?
Spoliers: Set after season 4. No spoilers for season 5.
Here is the ending to my latest fic. Thanks to SallyJetson for the beta.
Chapter 8: We Meet Again:
She struggles to breathe as her attacker retains his hold around her neck, pushing her spine firmly against the wall.
“How dare you call my wife! What gives you any right, you bitch?” Mike spits, his breathe and saliva hot against her face. “What? You think its fun breaking up a guy’s marriage?”
She gathers her strength and with her remaining breath gives him a swift kick where it counts, making him fall quickly to the floor, releasing his grip. She leans against the wall catching her breath, keeping her distance, always aware of his movements. “You’re the one that cheated on your wife. Why would you cheat if you wanted to stay married?”
“Look you fucking whore, I love my wife.” He grunts from the floor, still clutching his manhood. “We’re happy. She’s a great wife, a fantastic mother and still one of the best fucks in town.”
“I guess you would know as you’ve probably sampled them all.”
Suddenly Mike is on his feet and he swings his arm back to hit Lindsay but she’s too quick as she grabs his arm, twists it around his back and nails his front to the wall.
“What gives you any fucking right?” he snarls, struggling against her hold, their roles now reversed.
“If you love her so much why go around sleeping with other women?”
“That has nothing to do with her. It’s just sex. So I like to try something new when I’m away on business, it makes me feel good and nobody gets hurt. We both knew last night was just a one-night fling in a hotel. If you aren’t into that, I’d suggest you stopping flirting with guys in hotel bars.”
“Nobody gets hurt?” Her hold on his arm twisting a little further. “How’s your wife feeling right now? Are you still telling me nobody gets hurt?”
“Well if you hadn’t phoned her up she’d be fine. Her pain is your fault! I mean who does that?”
“My fault? You cheat on your wife and it’s my fault?”
“Montana, is everything alright around here?” Danny asks as he takes in the scene of his partner holding her own against the jerk from last night who’s still incapacitated against the wall.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just leaving,” he states as she slowly releases him from her hold. As he walks away, staying far away from both of them, mumbling under his breath, “Why do I always end up with the psychos?”
“Montana, you okay?” His hand going to her neck, seeing the fresh redness against her pale skin, his blood boiling at the damage inflicted. “You wait here while I go after him.”
“No Danny, let’s just get out of here.” Their eyes lock for a moment, silent messages passing, before he nods and slowly moves his hand from her neck, caressing with his touch.
She turns away from him, already moving to the door, moving away from the feelings caused from the brief contact of his fingers on her skin.
Chapter 9: Full Circle:
She stares out the car window, her body’s stillness a contrast to the rapid movements of her mind, her thoughts ping-ponging through the ups and downs of the weekend, and of their relationship. She knows now what she needs, knows that one more backward glance is necessary in order to truly more forward.
“Why’d you cheat on me?”
The small breath of air escapes his lungs before he can prevent it, as the ride takes an unexpected turn. He doesn’t want to go through it again, rehashing the past, reliving their downfall, his downfall. He’d said everything months ago, not that she had been in the mood to listen, to hear his pleas and explanations. Maybe this time would be different, maybe this time she’d hear the things he couldn’t truly say. “I told you, it wasn’t anything to do with you. It was just sex. Just a way to make the pain go away.”
“Can guys really do that? Just separate things so completely? Make sex meaningless?”
Her calmness unnerves him, and he wonders if discussing his infidelity in a small vehicle while going 80 mph is actually such a good idea. “Linds, do you really want to talk about this again?”
“I …I just want to understand, I mean has cheating become such a commonplace thing that it’s suddenly all right as long as nobody knows? Am I the one overreacting about this whole thing? Does it simply deserve a slap on the wrist and the uttering of “boys will be boys?”
He knows the importance of this conversation, knows that everything depends on how he words his response, knows that he may never get this chance again. “Cheating is wrong. I was wrong. I know that. I’ve always known that. Right after it happened, I knew that I couldn’t escape from what I’d done; there was just so many other things in my head that clouded that for a while. If I had been in my right mind I would never have done it. You’re not overreacting. I messed up, messed up big, I lost you and now I have to try to live with that.” He chances a glance towards her, but her body is already turned away staring into the blurs of the world outside her window, unsure is she’s even heard him, unsure if she even cares.
She has heard him, she’d heard it before too but somehow this time is different. This time she puts her feelings of betrayal and hurt aside to truly examine their lives, to analyze it as if they were pieces of evidence before her. She compares the acts of two very different men, both undergoing the same sinful act; one through grief and sorrow, desperate to feel again, to keep away the pain, one through pleasure alone, the thrill of the chase, the risk and excitement. She may not be ready to forgive him, but maybe she’s closer to understanding him.
The rest of the ride is held in silence, each lost in their thoughts, but this time it isn’t awkward, just peaceful.
Slowly Danny weaves through the city traffic and pulls up to her building. “Here we are.” He turns to her, unsure if the weekend was a step forward or a step back, but not ready to let her go.
“Thanks. You know you were right back there. We do make a good team.”
“Always have.”
“Maybe…maybe we could try to work on it outside of work too. I mean, not like that,” she replies blushing, “not like before. I’m not ready for that … not yet, but maybe as friends again? Maybe sometime we could watch Jaws together or something.”
“I’d like that,” he smiles.
“Good,” she smiles back before getting out of the car. She feels good about them for the first time since it happened. They weren’t back together, and maybe never would be, but it was high time she refound the friend she had lost and that was enough for her, for the moment anyway.