oh life
I really wish I could just take things a day at a time.
I always seem to look at the big picture of things instead of just living life day by day. I wish I was more of a just go with the flow kind of person, but I'm not. I worry about every little thing that goes wrong in my life and I worry until I get sick of worrying....
But some things I just can't let go of.
Its like....I wish I could just stop myself. I know how I want to do things and how I want to live my life, but I just can't live that way. I'm not meant to live that way.
I'm trying though.
I'm trying to just live life where it takes me instead of trying to control everything in it. I just need to let go because I'm either going to end up disapointed or I'm just going to feel out of control. I already feel out of control. I keep trying to get a grip and I can't.
I'm just drowning in all my problems.
I just need to say whatever and see what happens. So thats what I'm trying.
Officially out of the apartment.
Went Sunday afternoon to clean things and take home/to storage the last few things I needed to get out of there (but apparently i forgot stuff...?). Anyway, it was kinda weird.
I spent FOREVER and day cleaning the bathroom....I have a new secret trick for tough bathtub scum. yep, maybe I'll tell you my secret.
It was amazing how different it looked after being cleaned...I couldn't do the floor though because I didn't have the swiffer PAD...but I wish I could have...I would have loved to see that.
Anyway, it was kinda a sad moment. I layed on my empty bedroom floor for a few minutes. It was a good first apartment. A good learning experience. I thought about all the good things that went on in that room that year. I took one last walk through the apartment and then locked the door for the last time...and walked down the steps the last time and drove away one last time.
It was sad...but next year will be great. I'm fired up.
I just want this summer to go by...but not really, because I need the break from school.
I just want time for myself and to change things about me that I want to change.
I never mind what people have to say about me about the way I act or the things I do, but just because they say it doesn't mean I can just say "ok, yea" and change. I gotta figure out for myself the person I want to be.
This past school year has been crazy.
A new living experience
tons of new friends
AGD
my first all A's and B's
bills
dues
work REALLY FAR AWAY
Next year this is what I'm hoping for:
Clean apartment and clean room.
budgeting my money better...and MAKING more money.
a job close to school
maybe taking on a little sister
All A's and B's again. As long as I do my best
communicating more/better...expecially with cortnee.
not worry so much about what life throws at me...just go with it.
basically...I just want to be more independent.
we'll see what happens next.
Ok, well that was long enough.
Peace out,
Brooke
Ps. Shopping for a new bathing suit tomorrow :-D yay!
I always seem to look at the big picture of things instead of just living life day by day. I wish I was more of a just go with the flow kind of person, but I'm not. I worry about every little thing that goes wrong in my life and I worry until I get sick of worrying....
But some things I just can't let go of.
Its like....I wish I could just stop myself. I know how I want to do things and how I want to live my life, but I just can't live that way. I'm not meant to live that way.
I'm trying though.
I'm trying to just live life where it takes me instead of trying to control everything in it. I just need to let go because I'm either going to end up disapointed or I'm just going to feel out of control. I already feel out of control. I keep trying to get a grip and I can't.
I'm just drowning in all my problems.
I just need to say whatever and see what happens. So thats what I'm trying.
Officially out of the apartment.
Went Sunday afternoon to clean things and take home/to storage the last few things I needed to get out of there (but apparently i forgot stuff...?). Anyway, it was kinda weird.
I spent FOREVER and day cleaning the bathroom....I have a new secret trick for tough bathtub scum. yep, maybe I'll tell you my secret.
It was amazing how different it looked after being cleaned...I couldn't do the floor though because I didn't have the swiffer PAD...but I wish I could have...I would have loved to see that.
Anyway, it was kinda a sad moment. I layed on my empty bedroom floor for a few minutes. It was a good first apartment. A good learning experience. I thought about all the good things that went on in that room that year. I took one last walk through the apartment and then locked the door for the last time...and walked down the steps the last time and drove away one last time.
It was sad...but next year will be great. I'm fired up.
I just want this summer to go by...but not really, because I need the break from school.
I just want time for myself and to change things about me that I want to change.
I never mind what people have to say about me about the way I act or the things I do, but just because they say it doesn't mean I can just say "ok, yea" and change. I gotta figure out for myself the person I want to be.
This past school year has been crazy.
A new living experience
tons of new friends
AGD
my first all A's and B's
bills
dues
work REALLY FAR AWAY
Next year this is what I'm hoping for:
Clean apartment and clean room.
budgeting my money better...and MAKING more money.
a job close to school
maybe taking on a little sister
All A's and B's again. As long as I do my best
communicating more/better...expecially with cortnee.
not worry so much about what life throws at me...just go with it.
basically...I just want to be more independent.
we'll see what happens next.
Ok, well that was long enough.
Peace out,
Brooke
Ps. Shopping for a new bathing suit tomorrow :-D yay!