It's time to stop.
I am a false prophet.
A sham, shame-faced soldier,
coming home, shot in the foot,
"I never set out to be a hero..."
You never chose your steps,
just went where you were lead.
Everyone wants me to be something. Loud, funny, charming, ambitious, extroverted, laughing all the time, realistic but hopeful. How the hell can you be both? Just step back, just let me breathe, I can't breathe anymore, not in my own space, it is always someone else's home, I never go home, I never get home. I can't love you anymore, I can't always love more, I can't know that I'm the one with the love and the need, I cling like I'm sick and addicted. I am not alive. I am not alive. I am not alive. I am far away, falling apart in every direction, my being just pulling apart at the seams, thin, thin, thinner into the air. I am stretched out far and away, always near and always a hundred years away from you. Why can't you just marry me? Why can't you just ask me to stay forever. But you can't decide, it feels like you cant decide if you love me, I can't wait to find out if I'm still worth your time. You make me crazy, I sound so crazy, these words aren't mine, I'm not so desperate, please, don't tell me these words are my own. You know that all I want is to be your wife, but you just tell me to hold still, hanging in time, holding my breath, and you wonder why I don't do anything else, why I can't function, why I can't smile and laugh, why I can't get on with my life in the meantime. Well you should try walking in mid air, frantic, but you'll never get far. I knew love would be a mistake. But I saw you and I just couldn't say no, I can never say no to you, I will wait and hold my breath. And you know this is how I feel.
A sham, shame-faced soldier,
coming home, shot in the foot,
"I never set out to be a hero..."
You never chose your steps,
just went where you were lead.
Everyone wants me to be something. Loud, funny, charming, ambitious, extroverted, laughing all the time, realistic but hopeful. How the hell can you be both? Just step back, just let me breathe, I can't breathe anymore, not in my own space, it is always someone else's home, I never go home, I never get home. I can't love you anymore, I can't always love more, I can't know that I'm the one with the love and the need, I cling like I'm sick and addicted. I am not alive. I am not alive. I am not alive. I am far away, falling apart in every direction, my being just pulling apart at the seams, thin, thin, thinner into the air. I am stretched out far and away, always near and always a hundred years away from you. Why can't you just marry me? Why can't you just ask me to stay forever. But you can't decide, it feels like you cant decide if you love me, I can't wait to find out if I'm still worth your time. You make me crazy, I sound so crazy, these words aren't mine, I'm not so desperate, please, don't tell me these words are my own. You know that all I want is to be your wife, but you just tell me to hold still, hanging in time, holding my breath, and you wonder why I don't do anything else, why I can't function, why I can't smile and laugh, why I can't get on with my life in the meantime. Well you should try walking in mid air, frantic, but you'll never get far. I knew love would be a mistake. But I saw you and I just couldn't say no, I can never say no to you, I will wait and hold my breath. And you know this is how I feel.