bummer

[taylur]

andrew and i always joke about how i have no friends

but today his brother came in and he left to go get drunk with him without calling, though he said he would. and that's not a big deal. it's cool.

but he said we're already here, come find some of those so called friends and come down here.
and i laughed
then i didn't
then i was upset and pouty whatever
then i called someone
and someone else
and someone else

and you know what? he's right. i don't have any fucking friends. i met him so close in the school year and we spent so much time together that i haven't really met that many people. and i started crying because it fucking sucks. this is what chris did to me and i had no friends, and now i've just done it to my fucking self. what the hell am i thinking.

and i know that i'm still sortof mad at andrew about last friday, so it makes every little thing he does upset me. but i'm tired of being upset. i mean i really like him but if i can't get over his first mistake, and it's just going to make all the little things that don't matter seem to matter than maybe i have to take some time away. find friends i guess.

fool me once shame on you.
fool me twice. i'm a fucking idiot.