Story within the story
Dis. Nothing belongs to me.
In & Out (theme)
Okay what am I gaining from all this slash stuff?
I just want to write a good and fantastic porn.
Okay now. Howard and Peter.
They are both hot. The tension between them in the movie makes me want to write the eventual thing between the two.
Where and how this could happen?
Let's choose the alternative universe kind of stuff for the two.
Christmas time? Nope. It's no use. Too cheesy for the fiction.
Let's act within the movie scenes. They are plenty of ones. So we need the scene in where the intercourse happens.
Fine, we'll think about where later. Now let's focus on how exactly this is happening between Peter and Howard. Why am I eager to describe this process again and again? Because in real life I fail to get it. In real life I never reach the pleasure heights of it. Well, like the rest of a few millions of the planet population, but who cares?
I want Peter and Howard to gain the best and the strongest pleasure during their sex, okay.
So where is the ideal place for them to do it?
It could be right after the kiss in Peter's car. It could be after the failed wedding on the grass in front of the chapel. No, this is too much.
This could be just after Howard cools down and gets back to Peter in search for comfort and a new sexuality affirmation.
Or it could be in Peter's hotel room. But this idea was already been taken by a different fiction writer. I don't want to repeat and fall into the cliché.
I want to show how Howard really wants it even though he is too insecure and shy at first. I want to show that despite his denial the best thing that happened to him was his coming out.
And I want to show Peter and his sly and wicked nature, yet his passion and willingness to make Howard have the best sex in his life.
I want Peter to have determination, ambitions and confidence that he can do it. I have never had this thing in my partners in real life. All of them just stopped at the halfway. Each of them assured me that he would make me have an orgasm in the end. And guess what? They all failed eventually. Again I don't blame them, but this is not relevant at the moment.
We are talking about the fiction slash story here.
Okay now, Peter is ready to go all the way no matter what it takes. Howard is into it as much a man can be.
Now we need a place and a reason. And a bit of a surrounding, so that this scene would seem organic within the whole text.
Where in the movies are those hint gaps where I could shove my lusty art of a fiction writer?
Let's add the dramatic touch to this all. Let's have Howard and Peter actually have sex before Howard's wedding day! This seems edgy enough, and also falls into the movie format.
Excellent.
After the very kiss by the road, Peter could clearly see that the other man was very much into it. So he took a step further suggesting the two of them do it right away.
Howard was so aroused and overwhelmed by the first right sexual feeling for the other male that he immediately said yes.
Luckily Peter's car windows were dark. Nope, this is not going to work. Movie fans will definitely notice this made up detail. His car windows were of a clear glass. That's bad. Too bad for Howard whose arousal nearly reached agonized state. And for Peter who got used to getting what he wanted much faster than that.
We don't want the guys to suffer, do we? They both need to release very soon. So how do we help them?
We play pause button and you can see me running into the scene with the roll of a tinted film to cover the stock car windows with it and go on with the story.
Done. Peter's stage car now has perfectly darkened windows which allow the men as much privacy as they wish.
Perfect. By this time I quickly get back away from the scene and right into my Director's chaise long. And on we go.
The kiss is over and Peter with a wink inspects Howard's face for the reaction. Howard is blushing and confused and very much aroused. If you see the actual scene in a movie with Howard meeting his parents by the road just after his kiss with Peter, you can see his jeans slightly tent. I am sure this was made on purpose and it wasn't just a optical illusion of a slash fan. I'd like to this it wasn't anyway.
But we're getting off the track once again.
After having looked closely at Howard's face and made sure he did the right thing to the poor man, Peter kisses him again. This time Howard holds him close in return and responds to the kiss. After a few moments of frantic making out session Peter suggests that it is a little dangerous to stay like that in the middle of the street in the daylight. And they get back into the car. Howard forgets all about the wedding rehearsal, his closeted status, and his own name.
He follows Peter into the car, refusing to let him go.
And then...
And then I have stupefaction taken a hold of me. I just don't know how to describe the very act! It's not that I am ashamed or shy, at least I think I am not. It's just that I want it to be the perfect description of such a long awaited sexual act between the character that I am afraid to ruin it with my lame word choice. All phrases and words seem to sound wrong every time it comes to a sex scene in a story. All seems cheesy and flat.
But I can't leave this story gap unfilled! I just can't and I don't want to. I want to do it! But how? This is all frustrating.
Should I describe the whole process just with a couple of short but exact sentences? Or should I linger on every single detail to make it look more believable?
How does it happen in my real life with a partner? I don't know. I don't really remember. The very part of sex doesn't seem to be a perfect clear image in my head. I enjoy the foreplay with all its touches, kisses, nibbling, licking, biting, panting and breathing. But then it is just a speed. Speed, racing heartbeat and breathing, sweat, grunts, moans on the occasion, sweet ache and irresistible need to finish with it. That's all what happens during sex with me. That's how it gets every time.
Nothing interesting to tell about, really. Or do you think otherwise?
But I don't want to describe what I feel during sex. It would be embarrassing and out of character. I want probably to describe the ideal sexual act. But this would eventually sound fake, and this is the least what I want from my art, so to speak.
One relevant to homoerotic fiction gentleman once said to me, “Write about yourself, your own experience, feelings and emotions and you will succeed in your desperate writing.”
I know what he meant. And he was damn right about that.
But... about myself? I never fit in my own stories. I don't see myself neither as Peter, nor as Howard. I'd love to, but sadly I don't!
What would the actual guys do if it weren't for the movie scene? They would shag immediately: no time for emotions, right or wrong reflections, sublime love feeling... The body dictates the brain kind of stuff. The body desperately needs a release. So no need in words or too much of sensual foreplay.
Everything is being finished within a matter of minutes.
Afterward we can see regaining their senses, panting, perhaps a laugh or two at how ironic it really has really been... But this all is briefly after the very scene.
Both lying low in their car seats, silent, panting, chuckling, blinking in a disbelief. Reality comes back to them.
“Thank you!” I can hear Peter say to me, waving his hand out of the car window. “We thought you'd never finish it, Ms. Director.” They are both grinning, still panting.
I don't respond, but smile to myself. At least I proceeded in my stupor today. Just for an inch so far, but still. It's better than nothing.
The end
In & Out (theme)
Okay what am I gaining from all this slash stuff?
I just want to write a good and fantastic porn.
Okay now. Howard and Peter.
They are both hot. The tension between them in the movie makes me want to write the eventual thing between the two.
Where and how this could happen?
Let's choose the alternative universe kind of stuff for the two.
Christmas time? Nope. It's no use. Too cheesy for the fiction.
Let's act within the movie scenes. They are plenty of ones. So we need the scene in where the intercourse happens.
Fine, we'll think about where later. Now let's focus on how exactly this is happening between Peter and Howard. Why am I eager to describe this process again and again? Because in real life I fail to get it. In real life I never reach the pleasure heights of it. Well, like the rest of a few millions of the planet population, but who cares?
I want Peter and Howard to gain the best and the strongest pleasure during their sex, okay.
So where is the ideal place for them to do it?
It could be right after the kiss in Peter's car. It could be after the failed wedding on the grass in front of the chapel. No, this is too much.
This could be just after Howard cools down and gets back to Peter in search for comfort and a new sexuality affirmation.
Or it could be in Peter's hotel room. But this idea was already been taken by a different fiction writer. I don't want to repeat and fall into the cliché.
I want to show how Howard really wants it even though he is too insecure and shy at first. I want to show that despite his denial the best thing that happened to him was his coming out.
And I want to show Peter and his sly and wicked nature, yet his passion and willingness to make Howard have the best sex in his life.
I want Peter to have determination, ambitions and confidence that he can do it. I have never had this thing in my partners in real life. All of them just stopped at the halfway. Each of them assured me that he would make me have an orgasm in the end. And guess what? They all failed eventually. Again I don't blame them, but this is not relevant at the moment.
We are talking about the fiction slash story here.
Okay now, Peter is ready to go all the way no matter what it takes. Howard is into it as much a man can be.
Now we need a place and a reason. And a bit of a surrounding, so that this scene would seem organic within the whole text.
Where in the movies are those hint gaps where I could shove my lusty art of a fiction writer?
Let's add the dramatic touch to this all. Let's have Howard and Peter actually have sex before Howard's wedding day! This seems edgy enough, and also falls into the movie format.
Excellent.
After the very kiss by the road, Peter could clearly see that the other man was very much into it. So he took a step further suggesting the two of them do it right away.
Howard was so aroused and overwhelmed by the first right sexual feeling for the other male that he immediately said yes.
Luckily Peter's car windows were dark. Nope, this is not going to work. Movie fans will definitely notice this made up detail. His car windows were of a clear glass. That's bad. Too bad for Howard whose arousal nearly reached agonized state. And for Peter who got used to getting what he wanted much faster than that.
We don't want the guys to suffer, do we? They both need to release very soon. So how do we help them?
We play pause button and you can see me running into the scene with the roll of a tinted film to cover the stock car windows with it and go on with the story.
Done. Peter's stage car now has perfectly darkened windows which allow the men as much privacy as they wish.
Perfect. By this time I quickly get back away from the scene and right into my Director's chaise long. And on we go.
The kiss is over and Peter with a wink inspects Howard's face for the reaction. Howard is blushing and confused and very much aroused. If you see the actual scene in a movie with Howard meeting his parents by the road just after his kiss with Peter, you can see his jeans slightly tent. I am sure this was made on purpose and it wasn't just a optical illusion of a slash fan. I'd like to this it wasn't anyway.
But we're getting off the track once again.
After having looked closely at Howard's face and made sure he did the right thing to the poor man, Peter kisses him again. This time Howard holds him close in return and responds to the kiss. After a few moments of frantic making out session Peter suggests that it is a little dangerous to stay like that in the middle of the street in the daylight. And they get back into the car. Howard forgets all about the wedding rehearsal, his closeted status, and his own name.
He follows Peter into the car, refusing to let him go.
And then...
And then I have stupefaction taken a hold of me. I just don't know how to describe the very act! It's not that I am ashamed or shy, at least I think I am not. It's just that I want it to be the perfect description of such a long awaited sexual act between the character that I am afraid to ruin it with my lame word choice. All phrases and words seem to sound wrong every time it comes to a sex scene in a story. All seems cheesy and flat.
But I can't leave this story gap unfilled! I just can't and I don't want to. I want to do it! But how? This is all frustrating.
Should I describe the whole process just with a couple of short but exact sentences? Or should I linger on every single detail to make it look more believable?
How does it happen in my real life with a partner? I don't know. I don't really remember. The very part of sex doesn't seem to be a perfect clear image in my head. I enjoy the foreplay with all its touches, kisses, nibbling, licking, biting, panting and breathing. But then it is just a speed. Speed, racing heartbeat and breathing, sweat, grunts, moans on the occasion, sweet ache and irresistible need to finish with it. That's all what happens during sex with me. That's how it gets every time.
Nothing interesting to tell about, really. Or do you think otherwise?
But I don't want to describe what I feel during sex. It would be embarrassing and out of character. I want probably to describe the ideal sexual act. But this would eventually sound fake, and this is the least what I want from my art, so to speak.
One relevant to homoerotic fiction gentleman once said to me, “Write about yourself, your own experience, feelings and emotions and you will succeed in your desperate writing.”
I know what he meant. And he was damn right about that.
But... about myself? I never fit in my own stories. I don't see myself neither as Peter, nor as Howard. I'd love to, but sadly I don't!
What would the actual guys do if it weren't for the movie scene? They would shag immediately: no time for emotions, right or wrong reflections, sublime love feeling... The body dictates the brain kind of stuff. The body desperately needs a release. So no need in words or too much of sensual foreplay.
Everything is being finished within a matter of minutes.
Afterward we can see regaining their senses, panting, perhaps a laugh or two at how ironic it really has really been... But this all is briefly after the very scene.
Both lying low in their car seats, silent, panting, chuckling, blinking in a disbelief. Reality comes back to them.
“Thank you!” I can hear Peter say to me, waving his hand out of the car window. “We thought you'd never finish it, Ms. Director.” They are both grinning, still panting.
I don't respond, but smile to myself. At least I proceeded in my stupor today. Just for an inch so far, but still. It's better than nothing.
The end