So much more..
My dad is doing ALOT better. He's still in the hospital but he's made an amazing recovery and gets better everyday and I just can't wait until he's out of the hospital so we can all get on with our normal routines. It takes a lot going there and back. At first it was everyday, now every couple days for me at least, because of school.
ANYWAYS. School. Human Sexuality. Humanities. Biology. Intro to Psychology.
almost love it.
which scares me because I'm so worried I don't want to go into art anymore.
I love love love love art. I love fine art. Film production. Music production. everything I took at dash, I love being creative.
But when people asked me, 'when are you gonna reapply?' to the art schools...i was at a loss for words or an answer.
I don't know what I want to do. I don't know if I want to go through the bullshit of a new portfolio in two years, of impressing college reps, of dealing with serious financial issues and being in debt. All I've wanted for so long was to get the hell out of miami, but that's not the answer for me anymore. Well, not the only answer. I really like psychology. I've always had a passion for it. Maybe because I've got my own issues but it's such an interesting science.
I hate that I feel like I'm letting someone down by not continuing with art school. I was so depressed and still am a little at the fact I couldn't go off with my friends because of financial reasons. You know even though I was a slacker in school, I did a lot. I worked as hard as I wanted to, dealt with all the bullshit, spent endless hours on the bus and metro. For what? I guess to end up where I am today. To know maybe that's not what I really want.
BUT ARRGHH I just don't know what I really want. I feel like I should be further ahead even though I'm right where I should be.
I don't miss highschool. Dade actually works from me but I don't want to stay there for long.
Im as happy and depressed and confused as I've ever been, but I'm alright with that because 'you gotta have faith' hahah.
We'll see how things turn out.