Hard
Do you know how hard it is to be completely alone? Well, I suppose at one point or another in our lives we have all had that feeling. I think the worst part is having the experience of not being alone. Of thinking that there will be this person who could be there for you when you need someone....then losing that person. Whether it be that they graduate and move away, or that your relationship status has changed.
When I first broke away from home, I was immmensly excited about the prospect of starting over and beginning a new era of life. Five years later I'm tired and alone. Before I desired to have that romantic connection with someone, but without me even realizing it I was content with what I had. I had friends, really great friends....and then they left. They left I then I was alone. Clinging on to a couple of weaker friendships, waiting to pass the time until I could ...pardon my language...get the hell out of dodge.
Then rejection hit, I needed and highly desired to find another connection. Someone came along, I fought for that connection. I acheived that connection for a little while and then I lost it. Now I don't even know. I want arms that can hold me when I'm down in the dumps. I desire a connection...a connection I fear I'll never get.
At least I've learned a lesson...because I DO NOT want to jump into another relationship ever again. The emotions in the end hurt way too fuck'n much. I feel like its all my fault in the end.
BTW...sorry I haven't gotten ahold of you by phone. I've been so incredibly busy....this is the best I can do right now.
God Bless
~*~Trisha~*~
When I first broke away from home, I was immmensly excited about the prospect of starting over and beginning a new era of life. Five years later I'm tired and alone. Before I desired to have that romantic connection with someone, but without me even realizing it I was content with what I had. I had friends, really great friends....and then they left. They left I then I was alone. Clinging on to a couple of weaker friendships, waiting to pass the time until I could ...pardon my language...get the hell out of dodge.
Then rejection hit, I needed and highly desired to find another connection. Someone came along, I fought for that connection. I acheived that connection for a little while and then I lost it. Now I don't even know. I want arms that can hold me when I'm down in the dumps. I desire a connection...a connection I fear I'll never get.
At least I've learned a lesson...because I DO NOT want to jump into another relationship ever again. The emotions in the end hurt way too fuck'n much. I feel like its all my fault in the end.
BTW...sorry I haven't gotten ahold of you by phone. I've been so incredibly busy....this is the best I can do right now.
God Bless
~*~Trisha~*~