Been a while
I bought a framed Marlon Brando poster today
Lionel Hampton=AWK AWK AWK AWK! Thanks to Ashley. Who i now find out she has broken up with her fake gay boyfriend. This cannot mean good things for me.
Birthday= Not too special. What can i say, i forgot i was having one too. But seriously, it did not feel like any birthday that i have ever had before. Just another day.
Today=
I find out about like 50 breakups and 27 crushes and about 62 drama filled friendships that are on the brink of disaster. I was totally oblivious.
And then, Paul and Sam and Kelsey all told me at some point in the day that i was too good to people and was too nice to everybody and that i should start wanting more. Odd how all of my newly single buddies should say that. It's as if,.....they're jealous? Or maybe, they are sincere and truly believe that i am the kind of guy who is nice enough to deserve the right to be clued in on some things. Yeah, maybe that's it.
They say that i'm too reserved. That I give more than i could dream of giving back. But i honestly don't know about that. I think it evens out. Not every part of my life is filled with me going all out. I don't strive to be the best math student in the world, but i would put my ass on the line to help a friend.
And in the end, the love you take = the love you make. I honestly don't know at this point if that is true. I'm thinking it is a bit utopian.
BIG NEWS! My parents thought i was depressed, so they took me to a head shrinker. The genius figured out that, yes...I am indeed depressed. good work "Dr." And he wants me to stop stuff that causes stress for me. I.E., theatre. Fat Chance.
And it all goes back, in part, to football injuries. I can't remember things or clearly express myself verbally from the concussions i have had, so it causes me stress when learning new concepts or memorizing things. and that in turns gives me chronic stomach and neck pains. which in turn makes me want to relieve the pain. but, i have the good fortune of being blessed with the "Dependency" genes, or addict behavior. so any sort of pain killer, prescribed in pill form or my favorite bottle of malt liqour, mixes poorly with me. And all of that gives me a sense of hopelessness and desires for the unknown. And that causes me to "stress out" because i feel the need to instantly fix it but know that instant fixes don't exist. And then, this is the kicker, the All-Knowing-Shaman tells me he thinks this overwhelming stress is causing me to lose my hair. And that adds even more happy feelings to this hodge-podge of goodness.
Tomorrow is a big day.
jazz band
school
rehearsal
SAMMI meeting
band concert
math test to study for
projects to do
homework to get caught up on
homework that will be assigned
and more lines to memorize
and the fear of how all of the relationship problems of both myself and every other person in theatre will shake out
and finally, the shock that suessicle auditions are on tuesday
Ugh.
Lionel Hampton=AWK AWK AWK AWK! Thanks to Ashley. Who i now find out she has broken up with her fake gay boyfriend. This cannot mean good things for me.
Birthday= Not too special. What can i say, i forgot i was having one too. But seriously, it did not feel like any birthday that i have ever had before. Just another day.
Today=
I find out about like 50 breakups and 27 crushes and about 62 drama filled friendships that are on the brink of disaster. I was totally oblivious.
And then, Paul and Sam and Kelsey all told me at some point in the day that i was too good to people and was too nice to everybody and that i should start wanting more. Odd how all of my newly single buddies should say that. It's as if,.....they're jealous? Or maybe, they are sincere and truly believe that i am the kind of guy who is nice enough to deserve the right to be clued in on some things. Yeah, maybe that's it.
They say that i'm too reserved. That I give more than i could dream of giving back. But i honestly don't know about that. I think it evens out. Not every part of my life is filled with me going all out. I don't strive to be the best math student in the world, but i would put my ass on the line to help a friend.
And in the end, the love you take = the love you make. I honestly don't know at this point if that is true. I'm thinking it is a bit utopian.
BIG NEWS! My parents thought i was depressed, so they took me to a head shrinker. The genius figured out that, yes...I am indeed depressed. good work "Dr." And he wants me to stop stuff that causes stress for me. I.E., theatre. Fat Chance.
And it all goes back, in part, to football injuries. I can't remember things or clearly express myself verbally from the concussions i have had, so it causes me stress when learning new concepts or memorizing things. and that in turns gives me chronic stomach and neck pains. which in turn makes me want to relieve the pain. but, i have the good fortune of being blessed with the "Dependency" genes, or addict behavior. so any sort of pain killer, prescribed in pill form or my favorite bottle of malt liqour, mixes poorly with me. And all of that gives me a sense of hopelessness and desires for the unknown. And that causes me to "stress out" because i feel the need to instantly fix it but know that instant fixes don't exist. And then, this is the kicker, the All-Knowing-Shaman tells me he thinks this overwhelming stress is causing me to lose my hair. And that adds even more happy feelings to this hodge-podge of goodness.
Tomorrow is a big day.
jazz band
school
rehearsal
SAMMI meeting
band concert
math test to study for
projects to do
homework to get caught up on
homework that will be assigned
and more lines to memorize
and the fear of how all of the relationship problems of both myself and every other person in theatre will shake out
and finally, the shock that suessicle auditions are on tuesday
Ugh.