Unexpected
Title: Unexpected
Author: tay_21
Fandom: Primeval
Pairings/Characters: Connor/Abby
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, fluff... eventually
Warnings: Mentions of past rape
Disclaimer: Primeval and its characters belong to Impossible Pictures. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: This is written for the amazingly talented casy_dee for her birthday. It was Beta'd by the equally talented and amazing evenstar_estel.
Summary: Abby get's an unexpected phone call and the repercussions are very far reaching.
Prompt: How about a long lost relative, a moral dilemma (with appropriate dilemma angst, not relationship angst) and a new beginning.
Unexpected
Connor and Abby had experienced the finest morning in a long time. They didn’t have to be at work today. They lounged and enjoyed each other’s company, both taking and receiving ample amounts of pleasure from the other. It was beautiful. Later, Connor took Abby to lunch at her favorite restaurant and then the two of them went to see the latest cheesy sci-fi movie playing at the local cinema. On the way home they’d grabbed some Indian takeaway and were planning on finishing the night off the way that had started that morning.
That was, until the phone rang and turned Abby’s world topsy-turvy.
Connor listened intently to Abby’s side of the conversation. “Yes, this is Abby Maitland, well, it’s Abby Temple now…Excuse me? Who is this? Wait. What? Are you sure? I mean, are you absolutely certain? Um, yes. I’ll come. I’ll head down there right now… Is… Is the kid OK? She… She is. OK. I’m… I’m coming now.”
“Abby? Who was that? Is everything OK? Was it… Is it Jack?”
“No, it’s not Jack. Um… Connor. I have something to tell you. You better come with me. It might take me a while to explain.”
“Where’re we going?”
“Hospital. We’re going to see a thirteen-year-old girl who just lost her parents in a car accident… She’s… She’s my daughter.”
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Connor and Abby drove in silence to the hospital across town. Abby worried at her bottom lip and Connor didn’t push. He was still processing the bombshell she’d dropped on him before leaving the flat.
In all their time in the Cretaceous she’d never once mentioned any of this to him. Why not? They had shared everything. Why did she hold this one thing back? It was so big.
Connor continued to ruminate over everything as they drove on. They arrived about an hour later and Abby drove the car up to the A&E parking spaces. She gave Connor an apologetic glance and got out of the car. She waited for him at the boot and they walked in together, Abby threading her fingers in with his.
Connor still didn’t push; he assumed she’d explain soon enough. She was obviously worried, yet at the same time, Abby seemed a bit detached. Connor guessed it was best if he was just there for her, even if he felt a bit betrayed that she had held something this huge back.
They walked down the hall to the nurse’s station where Abby inquired about a girl named Elizabeth and the nurse directed her to a ward a few doors down. Abby gripped Connor’s hand even tighter and walked towards the door.
It was a big glass sliding door. Abby stopped outside of it but made no move to go in. She just stared at the bandaged sleeping figure laying in the white bed. It was several minutes before she started talking, silent tears gliding down her cheeks. Connor moved his arm to around her shoulder and she leaned into him, letting her tears soak into his shirt.
Eventually she started talking. “I was fifteen. One of mum’s ‘friends’ was over and I guess he got bored with my mum after she passed out drunk on the couch. I had thought it’d be safe to stay in my room with the door locked. I had school the next day and was really tired. I fell asleep before they did. I had cleaned up the kitchen and put Jack to bed. I warned him to be quiet. Mum’s friends could be right terrors when they got drunk sometimes. Usually I snuck out my window and went somewhere else. But, I was just so tired that night and I just wanted my own bed.”
Connor tightened his grip on her. He could sense where this was going and he felt the rage start to build in him.
“I woke up when he broke my door open. I was still delirious with sleep and I didn’t realize what was happening at first. He was so big. He pinned me to my bed and tore through my thin clothes like a hot knife through butter. I couldn’t fight him off. I didn’t even know how. I didn’t know anything actually. I was stupid and naïve. I really believed that sex would be fun and always with someone you loved. I was wrong and quickly learned differently.”
Abby stopped and sniffled, wiping away her tears. She drew in a shaky breath and continued. “My first time wasn’t beautiful. It was violent. So violent. And it hurt. More than I ever could have thought possible. He hit me; he tried to stop my screaming and nearly suffocated me. He laughed when it was over. He said I could be a real woman now, not some silly little girl. You know, in that moment, I didn’t want to grow up anymore. I grieved my innocence. Fifteen-year-olds aren’t supposed to have to grieve their innocence.”
Abby took a moment to center herself and look up into Connor’s eyes. He did his best to tamp down the fury he felt for her sake. She needed to get this out, and he need to hear it.
“I curled up on my bed and sobbed when he left to go fall asleep on the floor of the living room with my mum, as if nothing happened. I waited until I was certain he was asleep, then I threw as many things as I could into my backpack and ran away. I stopped only to leave Jack a note telling him I just couldn’t stay there any more. He’d be fine; none of mum’s friends ever had a thing for him, and mum actually cared what happened to him. She never really cared with me. I was just a burden. A problem.”
Abby continued. “I ended up at a homeless shelter for wayward kids. I had tried to forget it but the social worker was really pushing for me to go home. I flat out refused to cooperate. I wouldn’t give them my real name or anything. Finally, when they threatened to put me in a youth detention centre I told her what happened. She didn’t believe me at first, but then I was sick all over her floor. Like really sick. They took me to the clinic and ran some tests. The nurse asked me if I could be pregnant. I started to answer no, then nodded yes. Just nodded. I couldn’t bring myself to actually say the words. Not there, in that cold sterile place. It had been about a month by this point and the test results came back positive. I was pregnant, and terrified. Most of the ladies at the shelter counseled me to get an abortion. I was so young. But, I couldn’t justify making my baby pay for something he or she had no choice in. Call it naïve, but I just couldn’t.”
Abby stopped and looked up at Connor again. Her cheeks were drenched with tears and her bottom lip quivered. Connor rubbed her shoulders and pulled her to him. He held her for several moments while he looked at the beautiful girl in the hospital room in front of them.
“So, this is… she’s…” he faltered.
Abby nodded. “I gave her up for adoption to a lovely couple. They were sweet and couldn’t have children of their own. The wife volunteered at the shelter I was staying at and I got to know her pretty well. I liked her a lot. The shelter helped us with all the paper work. Because I was a minor, I had to file a police report to be excused from parental consent. That was horrible.”
Abby shook her head as if not wanting to go into the rest of what the police wanted to know. Connor had to know one thing though. “Did they catch him? The bastard that did this to you.”
“Yeah, they caught him. I had to go down to the station and pick him out of a line up. Thankfully, I’d already had the baby and given it up by the time I had to face him in open court. He got out about five yeas ago.” Connor gripped the tops of her arms tightly as if the pervert were right around the corner and going to jump out at them. “Connor, relax. Jack said he heard he was killed in a bar brawl shortly after getting out of prison.”
Connor relaxed a little. “You’re sure?”
“Yes. I never told you because, after I gave her up, I just couldn’t think about it. I locked the entire experience away in the deepest corner in my brain. I’ve tried as hard as I can to forget that I was raped, that the violation resulted in a child that I then gave away.” Abby started to cry again. “You know, I never even held her. I told the doctors to take her to where the adoptive parents were waiting in an adjacent room. They held her up, so I saw her, but that was it. One… one tiny little glimpse. It… it… It was all… I could give myself. No fifteen-year-old should have to go through that, especially alone.”
Connor leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose, then he bestowed a gentle, chaste kiss on each of her cheeks before tenderly brushing his lips across hers. “You’re not alone this time. And neither is she. I’m here for you and you’re here for her, yeah?”
“I don’t know Connor. I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a mum, especially to a traumatized thirteen-year-old. I don’t know anything about raising kids.”
“Abby, have you seen yourself with animals? You’ll be a brilliant mum. And, when we start having kids….” Connor stopped abruptly. “You… You do want kids, don’t you, Abby?”
“Yes, of course I want kids. I didn’t think I would but, as long as you’re here to keep me in check, I do want them.”
Connor blushed a bit at this. “Well, in that case, you should to do this. She needs our help. How did they get a hold of you anyway?”
“Her parents still had me listed as next of kin for her in the event of something happening to them. It’s so terrible. They were such good people. I mean they’re her parents, not me. I don’t even know where to start.”
“Will child services let us have her? You think? I mean, we haven’t been married that long. We disappeared for a year because of our jobs. We don’t have kids. But… Then again, you are her mother.”
“There were no other relatives to call. Neither of her adoptive parents had any family. That’s why they retained my name in case of a catastrophic emergency. I guess this would qualify. I can’t believe that they kept my name all these years.”
Connor smiled down at her. “They knew how good you were. They knew that if they were gone, you’d be the best thing for her.” Connor tipped her chin up so she had to look at him. “You’re not a scared 15-year-old any more. You’re a strong, powerful, confident woman who can handle anything that life throws at her.” He kissed her. “You’ll be a great mum. I just know it.”
“I’m so sorry that I hid all this from you, Connor. I just… After I gave up the baby, I just never talked about it again. I swept it all under the rug and pretended that it never happened.”
“I know. It’s OK. You’re still my lovely, beautiful wife. I both trust and love you with all my heart. She will too, you’ll see. Now come on, let’s go in and see her.”
Abby looked nervously at the girl in the bed. “I don’t know her. Not at all.”
“Abby, your daughter is alive and a fighter like you. Because of that, you’ll have time to get to know her, and she you. One step at a time, yeah?”
“Yeah. I suppose so.” Abby still wasn’t sure. It was written all over her face. Connor slid the glass door open and they walked into the small room together. It still smelled faintly of sterile alcohol and that smell that only hospitals seem to have.
Elizabeth was sleeping soundly, no doubt doped up on heavy pain meds. Connor and Abby walked to the edge of the bed and looked down at her. She had white blonde hair, just like Abby’s. It was long and feathered out on the pillow under her head. Her skin was pale, yet seamed healthy and smooth. She had several little cuts all over her face, no doubt from the flying glass of the car crash. There were bruises under her eyes, across her left cheekbone and her left arm was in a neon pink plaster cast. Abby reached out tentatively and was about to touch her soft blonde hair when a nurse suddenly walked in and interrupted their reverie.
“Are you her parents?” The nurse eyed them warily, looking from the teenager to the young couple.
“In a manner of speaking,” Connor answered stiffly, automatically on the defensive for Abby’s sake.
“I meant no harm, love,” the nurse corrected. It’s just, I’m the new shift nurse and no one but family’s allowed in this ward at this time of night.”
“Her adoptive parents were just killed in an auto collision earlier this evening. This is the girl’s biological mother, and listed next of kin,” Connor explained.
“All right, as I said, I meant no harm.”
“What’s wrong with her?” Abby asked quietly. “Is she going to be all right?”
“I believe so. According to her records she’s got a broken arm, but it was a clean break, so it should heal up fine. She’s also got a few broken ribs and the lacerations that you see on her face and arms there.” The young nurse smiled at Abby. “Nothing to fret about. She’ll be fine. She’ll be going home with the two of you then?”
“Yes-“ Connor replied automatically
“I’m not sure-“ Abby stated.
They had both spoken at the same time. They looked at each other, searching. Testing to see what the other really thought about this whole situation.
“You can’t leave her here, Abby. You can’t just let her be taken into care. You know how rough that is on a kid her age.”
“Yes, I know. I just… I’m just not sure what to do. What if she doesn’t like me? I mean… I gave her away. What does that say about me? What kind of mother does that make me?”
“It means you’re a good mum who did what was best for her child,” the nurse said quietly from her post next to Elizabeth’s bedside while she took her temperature. Connor and Abby looked at her in shock.
“Well, that’s exactly what I was going to say,” Connor murmured.
“You don’t even know me? How do you know that?” Abby asked.
“I see a lot of families down here in the children’s ward. There are tough decisions to be made sometimes. It’s the parents who love their kids the most that put aside their wants and needs and do what is best for the child. Have you ever thought of what it must be like to decide to end life support for a brain dead two-year-old? Do you donate his organs, or what? No one wants to make those kinds of decisions, but people have to, everyday. There is no easy answer. You have a golden opportunity in front of you. Your child is alive and well.”
Abby nodded her acknowledgement of the nurse’s sobering words. The nurse patted her on the shoulder. “I know you’ll make a great mum. You’re here, and that’s the first step.” With that, the nurse exited the room.
“Abby, would you really be able to give her up a second time?” asked Connor.
Abby let out a choked sob and shook her head, turning into Connor’s comforting embrace. He held her while she sobbed as she made her decision.
Finally, Abby spoke. “Connor, are you sure? We don’t have children; we’ve certainly never dealt with teenagers. She’s not even yours. I couldn’t ask you to raise someone else’s child.”
Connor held up Abby’s hand, showing her the wedding ring on her finger. “With this ring, I thee wed. Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. Remember? What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine. I meant it then and I mean it now. She’s got no one but you and you have me. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll adopt her as my own if she wants. Does that answer your question? I. Am. Sure.” He kissed her lips with each word.
Abby melted into him again as her tears flowed. She wasn’t normally this emotional, but tonight had dredged up so many memories that she couldn’t even attempt to fight them off. She was exhausted. Connor led her over to the tiny foldout chair that doubled as a bed. He unfolded it and sat Abby down. He left her for a moment to get her a pillow and some extra blankets. They couldn’t leave Elizabeth now. Once he had Abby settled on the bed, he sat down in the only other chair in the room and leaned against his own uncomfortable pillow. Abby was a sleep within minutes. Connor took the time to study the girl in front of him. He’d always wanted to be a dad; this wasn’t what he expected, but he guessed he could make due. She looked a lot like Abby. Tiny, blonde, with little pixie ears like her mother. He wondered if she’d have blue eyes like Abby too. Hell, he could see nothing of her bastard father in her at all, but then again, he always did only have eyes for Abby. He turned his gaze back to his sleeping wife. She was so beautiful. He loved her and would always be there for her, even in the most unconventional of circumstances.
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
The next few weeks were very difficult. Elizabeth took the news of her parents’ deaths very hard. They were her world. She was a good girl and loved her family. She was also very afraid. She had recurring nightmares of the car accident that took her parents and traumatized her. Elizabeth had moved into one of the two spare bedrooms that Connor and Abby had in their flat. The other was being used as a study. Due to her broken ribs, she needed help getting up and down the stairs and in and out of bed for the first couple of weeks. Abby did what she could, but she just didn’t know how to connect with her. She wanted to, but everything felt awkward. Elizabeth had informed them early on that she didn’t like being called Elizabeth, she preferred Ellie. So, Ellie it was.
Ellie did what she could as well, always volunteering to do the dishes and she was always cleaning up around the house. She was very quiet and reserved. This concerned Abby and Connor as her teachers had told them that she was very outgoing and quite the little chatterbox before the accident. It was as if Ellie were trying to make as small a footprint on their lives as possible.
Connor had taken to her instantly and he could get her out of her shell the most regularly. When they had gone, just him and Abby, to collect her things from her old house, he’d discovered that Ellie had a huge sci-fi obsession. She had a giant poster of the 10th Doctor on her wall posing with Rose Tyler. He geeked out over this until he found her stash of rare vintage comic books in their plastic casings. He almost literally bounced off the walls in his excitement. She had a spinning rack, just like at the comic book stores that they were all displayed in. Abby had never seen him pack up anything with such care as he did Ellie’s comics and other various sci-fi paraphernalia. When he boxed up her lightsabre he commented to Abby that they’d have to stage an epic battle in the living room once Ellie was all healed up.
Because of the sci-fi connection between them, Ellie was most animated with Connor. He bought her every season of the new Dr. Who that was available on DVD.
Still, she tiptoed around Abby, worried and afraid, even two months later. They just hadn’t made that intimate, familial connection.
Connor and Abby were in the living room picking out a DVD for them all to watch. Ellie’s ribs had healed, and her plaster had come offbut she still stayed indoors most of the time. She was in the kitchen putting up the dishes after once again volunteering to do them.
That’s when they heard it. The loud clatter and shatter of glass on the tile floor. Followed by a sharp intake of breath.
They rushed into the kitchen to make sure that Ellie was all right. She looked up at them and burst into tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It was an accident. I didn’t mean too,” she sobbed. She knelt on the floor and started scraping at the glass with her fingers.
“Ellie, stop. You’re going to hurt yourself,” chided Connor as he went to fetch the broom from the cupboard.
“I’m sorry. Plesase. Please…”
“Please… what?” Abby asked, kneeling down next to her.
“Please,” Ellie said quietly, looking at Abby with big tears in her blue eyes. “Please don’t send me away. I have no where else to go.”
Her statement hit Abby like a punch to the gut. They hadn’t ever talked about why Abby had given her up or why she’d showed up to claim her after 13 years. Suddenly Ellie’s behaviour over the last several weeks came into sharp focus.
Abby wrapped her arms around the shaking, sobbing teenager and pulled her to her. “I’m not ever going to send you away. You hear me? I love you. You’re my daughter. You’re mine.”
“But you gave me away before? Why is this different?” Ellie wept.
“Oh, Ellie, sweetheart. When I gave you up when you were a baby… You have to understand, I was a baby too. I was only fifteen, homeless at the time and completely unable to take care of a child. It was the best thing I could have done for you to give you to a family that I knew would provide for you. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”
“Why did you have me in the first place, didn’t you know to be careful when having sex?”
That innocent question caused Abby to gasp this time. Once again, it felt like all the air had been knocked out of her. Abby looked at Connor and then she looked at Ellie.
“I… I… I never had a choice in getting pregnant with you.” The words hung heavy in the air. The meaning was plain, even to a thirteen-year-old girl.
“Oh. Oh, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have even asked, I just didn’t understand. Why? Who was he, is he gone now? Does he have a claim on me too? Will he try to take me away from you?” Ellie’s eyes were wide and terrified; she looked at Abby with absolute horror etched on her face.
“Shh, shhh,” Abby cooed. “Yes, he’s gone now. He never bothered me again. The experience made me afraid of relationships” Abby looked up at Connor. “Until I met Connor here. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. We’re a good match for each other. He puts up with me and I put up with him. He taught me that’s how things are supposed to be. Give and take. I never dreamed I’d see you, let alone get to know you and have a second chance with you. It was more than I could ever have hoped for. Connor helped me see that, helped me see it for the second chance that it was.”
“So, what happens to me now?” Ellie asked.
“Well, the courts will re-certify my parental rights, and if it’s OK with you, Connor would like to adopt you. Do you want to be a Temple?”
Ellie’s smile was almost brighter than Connor’s. “Yeah. I think that’d be cool. Can I have some time to think about it though? My parents… my other parents, were awesome and I’m not sure about it yet. I want Connor to adopt me, but I don’t know about the name change thing yet.”
Connor knelt down by his girls. “Ellie, you take as much time as you need. I already love you like my own daughter, but I understand if you don’t want to change your last name. I won’t hold it against you. I promise. You’re not going anywhere though. We’re not getting rid of you. You’re stuck with us, I’m afraid.” He laughed a very Connor laugh and ruffled her hair.
“Yes,” Abby agreed. “Take some time. Now, I have some news for both of you that may influence your decisions about names and such.” She smiled devilishly at Connor. “You know that doctor appointment I had this morning? And how I’ve been feeling off?”
Connor nodded, concern instantly etched across his face. “Is everything all right, love?”
“Everything is fine. Everything is more than fine. Ellie here is going to be a big sister, that’s all.”
She let the statement sink in. It took them both a second to work it out before identical expressions of shocked joy split across their faces. The rest was all babbling and tummy rubbing from both daughter and husband. Abby couldn’t have been happier.
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*! Eight Months Later !*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Abby watched as Connor handed their newborn son, Nicholas, over to Ellie. Ellie was terrified she was going to drop the tiny bundle of light blue. She held him close to her with both arms wrapped securely around him.
“See,” Abby confided. “You’re a natural.”
“Not that you need to start having babies any time soon, young lady,” Connor amended.
“Connor stop it, she’s not some silly girl on a reality show. Ellie’s too smart for that.”
“That I am. Plus, all the boys at school, while gorgeous, are stupid.”
“Hmm. Good girl,” Connor replied patting her on the back.
“Hey, mum, I think I’ve made a decision on that question you and Connor asked me all those months ago.”
Abby barely heard the rest of the statement. It was the first time Ellie had called her ‘mum’. With tears threatening to cut off her voice, she managed to squeak out, “What… What question was that, honey?
“I want to be a Temple. I want Connor to be my dad. I want to have the same name as the rest of my family.
This time it was Connor who choked back a sob. Abby worried her bottom lip and then smiled as a tear trickled down her cheek. “Are you sure, sweetheart?”
“Yeah. My adoptive parents were amazing people and I think they’d be OK with it. Especially now that they’re gone. I think they knew, deep down, that’d we’d meet one day. I think that’s why they left you as my next of kin. Mum always said you were a courageous girl. That was all she’d ever tell me. Now I know you really are. I want to be just like you when I grow up. And I want to be just like Connor. He’s so cool.” Ellie glanced back at Connor who had huge tears running down his cheeks. “Would that be OK… Dad?”
Connor’s heart stuttered. He was so happy right now he almost thought he might die from it. “Yeah. Yeah I think that would be great.” He leaned forward and hugged her before pulling Abby into his arms as well.
The three of them, with baby Nicholas in the middle stayed huddled together in their group hug. Connor kissed the top of Ellie’s head. “I’ve loved you from the minute I saw you in that hospital bed, you know that? It just sealed the deal when I found your comic collection.” They all laughed.
Abby sat back on the bed and Ellie cuddled in next to her, passing Nicky back to her. Connor stood on her other side as they all admired the new baby. Abby was at peace. All the wrongs of her youth seemed to finally be righted. She sighed contentedly and basked in the sheer perfection of the moment.
Ellie looked up at both of them with the same devilish look in her eye that Abby got from time to time. “So, when can I get a litter sister to go along with baby Nicky here?”
The End.
Author: tay_21
Fandom: Primeval
Pairings/Characters: Connor/Abby
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, fluff... eventually
Warnings: Mentions of past rape
Disclaimer: Primeval and its characters belong to Impossible Pictures. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: This is written for the amazingly talented casy_dee for her birthday. It was Beta'd by the equally talented and amazing evenstar_estel.
Summary: Abby get's an unexpected phone call and the repercussions are very far reaching.
Prompt: How about a long lost relative, a moral dilemma (with appropriate dilemma angst, not relationship angst) and a new beginning.
Unexpected
Connor and Abby had experienced the finest morning in a long time. They didn’t have to be at work today. They lounged and enjoyed each other’s company, both taking and receiving ample amounts of pleasure from the other. It was beautiful. Later, Connor took Abby to lunch at her favorite restaurant and then the two of them went to see the latest cheesy sci-fi movie playing at the local cinema. On the way home they’d grabbed some Indian takeaway and were planning on finishing the night off the way that had started that morning.
That was, until the phone rang and turned Abby’s world topsy-turvy.
Connor listened intently to Abby’s side of the conversation. “Yes, this is Abby Maitland, well, it’s Abby Temple now…Excuse me? Who is this? Wait. What? Are you sure? I mean, are you absolutely certain? Um, yes. I’ll come. I’ll head down there right now… Is… Is the kid OK? She… She is. OK. I’m… I’m coming now.”
“Abby? Who was that? Is everything OK? Was it… Is it Jack?”
“No, it’s not Jack. Um… Connor. I have something to tell you. You better come with me. It might take me a while to explain.”
“Where’re we going?”
“Hospital. We’re going to see a thirteen-year-old girl who just lost her parents in a car accident… She’s… She’s my daughter.”
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Connor and Abby drove in silence to the hospital across town. Abby worried at her bottom lip and Connor didn’t push. He was still processing the bombshell she’d dropped on him before leaving the flat.
In all their time in the Cretaceous she’d never once mentioned any of this to him. Why not? They had shared everything. Why did she hold this one thing back? It was so big.
Connor continued to ruminate over everything as they drove on. They arrived about an hour later and Abby drove the car up to the A&E parking spaces. She gave Connor an apologetic glance and got out of the car. She waited for him at the boot and they walked in together, Abby threading her fingers in with his.
Connor still didn’t push; he assumed she’d explain soon enough. She was obviously worried, yet at the same time, Abby seemed a bit detached. Connor guessed it was best if he was just there for her, even if he felt a bit betrayed that she had held something this huge back.
They walked down the hall to the nurse’s station where Abby inquired about a girl named Elizabeth and the nurse directed her to a ward a few doors down. Abby gripped Connor’s hand even tighter and walked towards the door.
It was a big glass sliding door. Abby stopped outside of it but made no move to go in. She just stared at the bandaged sleeping figure laying in the white bed. It was several minutes before she started talking, silent tears gliding down her cheeks. Connor moved his arm to around her shoulder and she leaned into him, letting her tears soak into his shirt.
Eventually she started talking. “I was fifteen. One of mum’s ‘friends’ was over and I guess he got bored with my mum after she passed out drunk on the couch. I had thought it’d be safe to stay in my room with the door locked. I had school the next day and was really tired. I fell asleep before they did. I had cleaned up the kitchen and put Jack to bed. I warned him to be quiet. Mum’s friends could be right terrors when they got drunk sometimes. Usually I snuck out my window and went somewhere else. But, I was just so tired that night and I just wanted my own bed.”
Connor tightened his grip on her. He could sense where this was going and he felt the rage start to build in him.
“I woke up when he broke my door open. I was still delirious with sleep and I didn’t realize what was happening at first. He was so big. He pinned me to my bed and tore through my thin clothes like a hot knife through butter. I couldn’t fight him off. I didn’t even know how. I didn’t know anything actually. I was stupid and naïve. I really believed that sex would be fun and always with someone you loved. I was wrong and quickly learned differently.”
Abby stopped and sniffled, wiping away her tears. She drew in a shaky breath and continued. “My first time wasn’t beautiful. It was violent. So violent. And it hurt. More than I ever could have thought possible. He hit me; he tried to stop my screaming and nearly suffocated me. He laughed when it was over. He said I could be a real woman now, not some silly little girl. You know, in that moment, I didn’t want to grow up anymore. I grieved my innocence. Fifteen-year-olds aren’t supposed to have to grieve their innocence.”
Abby took a moment to center herself and look up into Connor’s eyes. He did his best to tamp down the fury he felt for her sake. She needed to get this out, and he need to hear it.
“I curled up on my bed and sobbed when he left to go fall asleep on the floor of the living room with my mum, as if nothing happened. I waited until I was certain he was asleep, then I threw as many things as I could into my backpack and ran away. I stopped only to leave Jack a note telling him I just couldn’t stay there any more. He’d be fine; none of mum’s friends ever had a thing for him, and mum actually cared what happened to him. She never really cared with me. I was just a burden. A problem.”
Abby continued. “I ended up at a homeless shelter for wayward kids. I had tried to forget it but the social worker was really pushing for me to go home. I flat out refused to cooperate. I wouldn’t give them my real name or anything. Finally, when they threatened to put me in a youth detention centre I told her what happened. She didn’t believe me at first, but then I was sick all over her floor. Like really sick. They took me to the clinic and ran some tests. The nurse asked me if I could be pregnant. I started to answer no, then nodded yes. Just nodded. I couldn’t bring myself to actually say the words. Not there, in that cold sterile place. It had been about a month by this point and the test results came back positive. I was pregnant, and terrified. Most of the ladies at the shelter counseled me to get an abortion. I was so young. But, I couldn’t justify making my baby pay for something he or she had no choice in. Call it naïve, but I just couldn’t.”
Abby stopped and looked up at Connor again. Her cheeks were drenched with tears and her bottom lip quivered. Connor rubbed her shoulders and pulled her to him. He held her for several moments while he looked at the beautiful girl in the hospital room in front of them.
“So, this is… she’s…” he faltered.
Abby nodded. “I gave her up for adoption to a lovely couple. They were sweet and couldn’t have children of their own. The wife volunteered at the shelter I was staying at and I got to know her pretty well. I liked her a lot. The shelter helped us with all the paper work. Because I was a minor, I had to file a police report to be excused from parental consent. That was horrible.”
Abby shook her head as if not wanting to go into the rest of what the police wanted to know. Connor had to know one thing though. “Did they catch him? The bastard that did this to you.”
“Yeah, they caught him. I had to go down to the station and pick him out of a line up. Thankfully, I’d already had the baby and given it up by the time I had to face him in open court. He got out about five yeas ago.” Connor gripped the tops of her arms tightly as if the pervert were right around the corner and going to jump out at them. “Connor, relax. Jack said he heard he was killed in a bar brawl shortly after getting out of prison.”
Connor relaxed a little. “You’re sure?”
“Yes. I never told you because, after I gave her up, I just couldn’t think about it. I locked the entire experience away in the deepest corner in my brain. I’ve tried as hard as I can to forget that I was raped, that the violation resulted in a child that I then gave away.” Abby started to cry again. “You know, I never even held her. I told the doctors to take her to where the adoptive parents were waiting in an adjacent room. They held her up, so I saw her, but that was it. One… one tiny little glimpse. It… it… It was all… I could give myself. No fifteen-year-old should have to go through that, especially alone.”
Connor leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose, then he bestowed a gentle, chaste kiss on each of her cheeks before tenderly brushing his lips across hers. “You’re not alone this time. And neither is she. I’m here for you and you’re here for her, yeah?”
“I don’t know Connor. I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a mum, especially to a traumatized thirteen-year-old. I don’t know anything about raising kids.”
“Abby, have you seen yourself with animals? You’ll be a brilliant mum. And, when we start having kids….” Connor stopped abruptly. “You… You do want kids, don’t you, Abby?”
“Yes, of course I want kids. I didn’t think I would but, as long as you’re here to keep me in check, I do want them.”
Connor blushed a bit at this. “Well, in that case, you should to do this. She needs our help. How did they get a hold of you anyway?”
“Her parents still had me listed as next of kin for her in the event of something happening to them. It’s so terrible. They were such good people. I mean they’re her parents, not me. I don’t even know where to start.”
“Will child services let us have her? You think? I mean, we haven’t been married that long. We disappeared for a year because of our jobs. We don’t have kids. But… Then again, you are her mother.”
“There were no other relatives to call. Neither of her adoptive parents had any family. That’s why they retained my name in case of a catastrophic emergency. I guess this would qualify. I can’t believe that they kept my name all these years.”
Connor smiled down at her. “They knew how good you were. They knew that if they were gone, you’d be the best thing for her.” Connor tipped her chin up so she had to look at him. “You’re not a scared 15-year-old any more. You’re a strong, powerful, confident woman who can handle anything that life throws at her.” He kissed her. “You’ll be a great mum. I just know it.”
“I’m so sorry that I hid all this from you, Connor. I just… After I gave up the baby, I just never talked about it again. I swept it all under the rug and pretended that it never happened.”
“I know. It’s OK. You’re still my lovely, beautiful wife. I both trust and love you with all my heart. She will too, you’ll see. Now come on, let’s go in and see her.”
Abby looked nervously at the girl in the bed. “I don’t know her. Not at all.”
“Abby, your daughter is alive and a fighter like you. Because of that, you’ll have time to get to know her, and she you. One step at a time, yeah?”
“Yeah. I suppose so.” Abby still wasn’t sure. It was written all over her face. Connor slid the glass door open and they walked into the small room together. It still smelled faintly of sterile alcohol and that smell that only hospitals seem to have.
Elizabeth was sleeping soundly, no doubt doped up on heavy pain meds. Connor and Abby walked to the edge of the bed and looked down at her. She had white blonde hair, just like Abby’s. It was long and feathered out on the pillow under her head. Her skin was pale, yet seamed healthy and smooth. She had several little cuts all over her face, no doubt from the flying glass of the car crash. There were bruises under her eyes, across her left cheekbone and her left arm was in a neon pink plaster cast. Abby reached out tentatively and was about to touch her soft blonde hair when a nurse suddenly walked in and interrupted their reverie.
“Are you her parents?” The nurse eyed them warily, looking from the teenager to the young couple.
“In a manner of speaking,” Connor answered stiffly, automatically on the defensive for Abby’s sake.
“I meant no harm, love,” the nurse corrected. It’s just, I’m the new shift nurse and no one but family’s allowed in this ward at this time of night.”
“Her adoptive parents were just killed in an auto collision earlier this evening. This is the girl’s biological mother, and listed next of kin,” Connor explained.
“All right, as I said, I meant no harm.”
“What’s wrong with her?” Abby asked quietly. “Is she going to be all right?”
“I believe so. According to her records she’s got a broken arm, but it was a clean break, so it should heal up fine. She’s also got a few broken ribs and the lacerations that you see on her face and arms there.” The young nurse smiled at Abby. “Nothing to fret about. She’ll be fine. She’ll be going home with the two of you then?”
“Yes-“ Connor replied automatically
“I’m not sure-“ Abby stated.
They had both spoken at the same time. They looked at each other, searching. Testing to see what the other really thought about this whole situation.
“You can’t leave her here, Abby. You can’t just let her be taken into care. You know how rough that is on a kid her age.”
“Yes, I know. I just… I’m just not sure what to do. What if she doesn’t like me? I mean… I gave her away. What does that say about me? What kind of mother does that make me?”
“It means you’re a good mum who did what was best for her child,” the nurse said quietly from her post next to Elizabeth’s bedside while she took her temperature. Connor and Abby looked at her in shock.
“Well, that’s exactly what I was going to say,” Connor murmured.
“You don’t even know me? How do you know that?” Abby asked.
“I see a lot of families down here in the children’s ward. There are tough decisions to be made sometimes. It’s the parents who love their kids the most that put aside their wants and needs and do what is best for the child. Have you ever thought of what it must be like to decide to end life support for a brain dead two-year-old? Do you donate his organs, or what? No one wants to make those kinds of decisions, but people have to, everyday. There is no easy answer. You have a golden opportunity in front of you. Your child is alive and well.”
Abby nodded her acknowledgement of the nurse’s sobering words. The nurse patted her on the shoulder. “I know you’ll make a great mum. You’re here, and that’s the first step.” With that, the nurse exited the room.
“Abby, would you really be able to give her up a second time?” asked Connor.
Abby let out a choked sob and shook her head, turning into Connor’s comforting embrace. He held her while she sobbed as she made her decision.
Finally, Abby spoke. “Connor, are you sure? We don’t have children; we’ve certainly never dealt with teenagers. She’s not even yours. I couldn’t ask you to raise someone else’s child.”
Connor held up Abby’s hand, showing her the wedding ring on her finger. “With this ring, I thee wed. Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. Remember? What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine. I meant it then and I mean it now. She’s got no one but you and you have me. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll adopt her as my own if she wants. Does that answer your question? I. Am. Sure.” He kissed her lips with each word.
Abby melted into him again as her tears flowed. She wasn’t normally this emotional, but tonight had dredged up so many memories that she couldn’t even attempt to fight them off. She was exhausted. Connor led her over to the tiny foldout chair that doubled as a bed. He unfolded it and sat Abby down. He left her for a moment to get her a pillow and some extra blankets. They couldn’t leave Elizabeth now. Once he had Abby settled on the bed, he sat down in the only other chair in the room and leaned against his own uncomfortable pillow. Abby was a sleep within minutes. Connor took the time to study the girl in front of him. He’d always wanted to be a dad; this wasn’t what he expected, but he guessed he could make due. She looked a lot like Abby. Tiny, blonde, with little pixie ears like her mother. He wondered if she’d have blue eyes like Abby too. Hell, he could see nothing of her bastard father in her at all, but then again, he always did only have eyes for Abby. He turned his gaze back to his sleeping wife. She was so beautiful. He loved her and would always be there for her, even in the most unconventional of circumstances.
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
The next few weeks were very difficult. Elizabeth took the news of her parents’ deaths very hard. They were her world. She was a good girl and loved her family. She was also very afraid. She had recurring nightmares of the car accident that took her parents and traumatized her. Elizabeth had moved into one of the two spare bedrooms that Connor and Abby had in their flat. The other was being used as a study. Due to her broken ribs, she needed help getting up and down the stairs and in and out of bed for the first couple of weeks. Abby did what she could, but she just didn’t know how to connect with her. She wanted to, but everything felt awkward. Elizabeth had informed them early on that she didn’t like being called Elizabeth, she preferred Ellie. So, Ellie it was.
Ellie did what she could as well, always volunteering to do the dishes and she was always cleaning up around the house. She was very quiet and reserved. This concerned Abby and Connor as her teachers had told them that she was very outgoing and quite the little chatterbox before the accident. It was as if Ellie were trying to make as small a footprint on their lives as possible.
Connor had taken to her instantly and he could get her out of her shell the most regularly. When they had gone, just him and Abby, to collect her things from her old house, he’d discovered that Ellie had a huge sci-fi obsession. She had a giant poster of the 10th Doctor on her wall posing with Rose Tyler. He geeked out over this until he found her stash of rare vintage comic books in their plastic casings. He almost literally bounced off the walls in his excitement. She had a spinning rack, just like at the comic book stores that they were all displayed in. Abby had never seen him pack up anything with such care as he did Ellie’s comics and other various sci-fi paraphernalia. When he boxed up her lightsabre he commented to Abby that they’d have to stage an epic battle in the living room once Ellie was all healed up.
Because of the sci-fi connection between them, Ellie was most animated with Connor. He bought her every season of the new Dr. Who that was available on DVD.
Still, she tiptoed around Abby, worried and afraid, even two months later. They just hadn’t made that intimate, familial connection.
Connor and Abby were in the living room picking out a DVD for them all to watch. Ellie’s ribs had healed, and her plaster had come offbut she still stayed indoors most of the time. She was in the kitchen putting up the dishes after once again volunteering to do them.
That’s when they heard it. The loud clatter and shatter of glass on the tile floor. Followed by a sharp intake of breath.
They rushed into the kitchen to make sure that Ellie was all right. She looked up at them and burst into tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It was an accident. I didn’t mean too,” she sobbed. She knelt on the floor and started scraping at the glass with her fingers.
“Ellie, stop. You’re going to hurt yourself,” chided Connor as he went to fetch the broom from the cupboard.
“I’m sorry. Plesase. Please…”
“Please… what?” Abby asked, kneeling down next to her.
“Please,” Ellie said quietly, looking at Abby with big tears in her blue eyes. “Please don’t send me away. I have no where else to go.”
Her statement hit Abby like a punch to the gut. They hadn’t ever talked about why Abby had given her up or why she’d showed up to claim her after 13 years. Suddenly Ellie’s behaviour over the last several weeks came into sharp focus.
Abby wrapped her arms around the shaking, sobbing teenager and pulled her to her. “I’m not ever going to send you away. You hear me? I love you. You’re my daughter. You’re mine.”
“But you gave me away before? Why is this different?” Ellie wept.
“Oh, Ellie, sweetheart. When I gave you up when you were a baby… You have to understand, I was a baby too. I was only fifteen, homeless at the time and completely unable to take care of a child. It was the best thing I could have done for you to give you to a family that I knew would provide for you. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”
“Why did you have me in the first place, didn’t you know to be careful when having sex?”
That innocent question caused Abby to gasp this time. Once again, it felt like all the air had been knocked out of her. Abby looked at Connor and then she looked at Ellie.
“I… I… I never had a choice in getting pregnant with you.” The words hung heavy in the air. The meaning was plain, even to a thirteen-year-old girl.
“Oh. Oh, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have even asked, I just didn’t understand. Why? Who was he, is he gone now? Does he have a claim on me too? Will he try to take me away from you?” Ellie’s eyes were wide and terrified; she looked at Abby with absolute horror etched on her face.
“Shh, shhh,” Abby cooed. “Yes, he’s gone now. He never bothered me again. The experience made me afraid of relationships” Abby looked up at Connor. “Until I met Connor here. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. We’re a good match for each other. He puts up with me and I put up with him. He taught me that’s how things are supposed to be. Give and take. I never dreamed I’d see you, let alone get to know you and have a second chance with you. It was more than I could ever have hoped for. Connor helped me see that, helped me see it for the second chance that it was.”
“So, what happens to me now?” Ellie asked.
“Well, the courts will re-certify my parental rights, and if it’s OK with you, Connor would like to adopt you. Do you want to be a Temple?”
Ellie’s smile was almost brighter than Connor’s. “Yeah. I think that’d be cool. Can I have some time to think about it though? My parents… my other parents, were awesome and I’m not sure about it yet. I want Connor to adopt me, but I don’t know about the name change thing yet.”
Connor knelt down by his girls. “Ellie, you take as much time as you need. I already love you like my own daughter, but I understand if you don’t want to change your last name. I won’t hold it against you. I promise. You’re not going anywhere though. We’re not getting rid of you. You’re stuck with us, I’m afraid.” He laughed a very Connor laugh and ruffled her hair.
“Yes,” Abby agreed. “Take some time. Now, I have some news for both of you that may influence your decisions about names and such.” She smiled devilishly at Connor. “You know that doctor appointment I had this morning? And how I’ve been feeling off?”
Connor nodded, concern instantly etched across his face. “Is everything all right, love?”
“Everything is fine. Everything is more than fine. Ellie here is going to be a big sister, that’s all.”
She let the statement sink in. It took them both a second to work it out before identical expressions of shocked joy split across their faces. The rest was all babbling and tummy rubbing from both daughter and husband. Abby couldn’t have been happier.
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*! Eight Months Later !*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Abby watched as Connor handed their newborn son, Nicholas, over to Ellie. Ellie was terrified she was going to drop the tiny bundle of light blue. She held him close to her with both arms wrapped securely around him.
“See,” Abby confided. “You’re a natural.”
“Not that you need to start having babies any time soon, young lady,” Connor amended.
“Connor stop it, she’s not some silly girl on a reality show. Ellie’s too smart for that.”
“That I am. Plus, all the boys at school, while gorgeous, are stupid.”
“Hmm. Good girl,” Connor replied patting her on the back.
“Hey, mum, I think I’ve made a decision on that question you and Connor asked me all those months ago.”
Abby barely heard the rest of the statement. It was the first time Ellie had called her ‘mum’. With tears threatening to cut off her voice, she managed to squeak out, “What… What question was that, honey?
“I want to be a Temple. I want Connor to be my dad. I want to have the same name as the rest of my family.
This time it was Connor who choked back a sob. Abby worried her bottom lip and then smiled as a tear trickled down her cheek. “Are you sure, sweetheart?”
“Yeah. My adoptive parents were amazing people and I think they’d be OK with it. Especially now that they’re gone. I think they knew, deep down, that’d we’d meet one day. I think that’s why they left you as my next of kin. Mum always said you were a courageous girl. That was all she’d ever tell me. Now I know you really are. I want to be just like you when I grow up. And I want to be just like Connor. He’s so cool.” Ellie glanced back at Connor who had huge tears running down his cheeks. “Would that be OK… Dad?”
Connor’s heart stuttered. He was so happy right now he almost thought he might die from it. “Yeah. Yeah I think that would be great.” He leaned forward and hugged her before pulling Abby into his arms as well.
The three of them, with baby Nicholas in the middle stayed huddled together in their group hug. Connor kissed the top of Ellie’s head. “I’ve loved you from the minute I saw you in that hospital bed, you know that? It just sealed the deal when I found your comic collection.” They all laughed.
Abby sat back on the bed and Ellie cuddled in next to her, passing Nicky back to her. Connor stood on her other side as they all admired the new baby. Abby was at peace. All the wrongs of her youth seemed to finally be righted. She sighed contentedly and basked in the sheer perfection of the moment.
Ellie looked up at both of them with the same devilish look in her eye that Abby got from time to time. “So, when can I get a litter sister to go along with baby Nicky here?”
The End.