002. [Visual] | can't even sell my soul cause it ain't worth shit to take

[fireburned]

Harvestman has apparently figured out what showers are for. His choice of clothes are miraculously clean and look to be only a little bit worn out, the collar frayed, but at least he's got all the buttons there. He's even shaved. He's also, indicated by the clinking of buttons and the rumbling of tumble dryers, is in a laundromat

Comments

[accidental visual but a visual nonetheless]

[levilup]

Blink blink.

"Is that all a fella has to do 'round here to get some nookie?" More blinking, and then: "... I like this place."

[visual]

[fireburned]

"You'd think, but I ain't got too many bites yet."

He's slightly sulky from this, it seems.

[visual]

[levilup]

--SKALSH the radio machine is speaking to him again. Levi jumps and nearly throws the tablet in another direction, but he keeps a hold on it in the end.

"Says you," Levi hums, grinning a little. Yes, that means what you think it means.

[visual]

[fireburned]

"Says me," he agrees amiably, leaning forward on his elbows. "Gonna try to prove me wrong?"

[visual]

[levilup]

"Ab-so-lute-ly," Levi hums, smirking. "I'd never give up the chance to neck with a Sheik like yourself."

Levi has a thing for short, southern guys.

[visual]

[fireburned]

Sheik. He's heard a lot of things, but 1920s terminology was not Harvestman's strong suit.

Still, he smiles, because this means he might actually get laid finally. "Best thing 'bout this city is that the rooms are free. You wanna name a place and meet me there, or vice versa?"

[visual]

[shaneonyou]

The thing about keeping an eye on your eighty-years-younger-and-humanified boyfriend is that it's really hard not to get too worried. Shane's found that he suddenly feels like he's watching a small kid, concerned about the smallest things becoming dangers.

And he can't help it; he overhears this, and, well, this isn't exactly a small thing. And the guy on the other end is a vampire, and suddenly Shane doesn't care, because he's not taking any chances. Vampires looking to have sex with humans never ends well, in Shane's book.

Scooting into the room, nervous about interrupting but a little too panicked to really care, Shane mumbles a s'cuse me and yoinks the tablet from Levi's hand, eyeing the screen. "Sorry to mess up your plans, but he's kinda preoccupied." And not entirely thinking it out, he adds: "With his boyfriend."

[visual]

[levilup]

There's a little commotion from off-screen, Levi protesting loudly about Shane taking away his tablet, but then he stops to listen, and--

"... Did you just say boyfriend?"

[visual]

[fireburned]

"Funny," Harvestman replies, annoyance plain on his face. "He don't seem to know he's taken. And if he is, so what? Can't a guy have a little fun?"

[visual]

[shaneonyou]

"I'm sorry," Shane says again with slight impatience, glancing surreptitiously over at the reeling Levi. "You can find somebody else."

[visual]

[levilup]

This is still off-screen, but there's mumbling coming off to the side that goes something like, "... I have a boyfriend-- but there's-- how did I--"

Pause, then louder: "Sorry, Harvest, baby, but if he's telling the truth, I can't cheat. Sorry to be such a flat tire."

[visual]

[fireburned]

"Don't call me that." Harvestman does not take all that well to nicknames, and he also doesn't take all that well to being cock-blocked.

All in all, it was probably better to avoid the once-and-maybe-soon-to-be-again vampires. They creeped him out anyway.

"Cheat," he repeats with a snort. "Enjoy being bored by spineless there, I'm sure that's worth it."

[visual]

[shaneonyou]

That tweaks a nerve. In a final moment of annoyance, Shane gives Harvestman an unfriendly look.

"Yeah, and good luck getting anyone to sleep with you," he snarks, and before he can get any more annoyed or embarrassed, he cuts the connection. Pausing for a moment, he stares at the blank screen, then drops the tablet onto the couch.