Is it abuse?

[taxishoes]

I've had (former) friends who turned out to be abusive to their partners. Trust me, I did not jump to that conclusion; it became very evident, and their partners eventually left them. But from that experience, I also know that it is very difficult to find information on how to approach someone who you think may be abusive, or someone who you think

Comments

[mosno]

That's exactly my point. There's no such thing as "violent toward you". If you suspect that someone is physically violent then you need to expect that they could become physically violent towards you. Guy in my story was a good friend of the abuser who had never seen him as violent in any way but he struck just the right nerve that day and got just the same treatment as his regular victims. See my point?

You can process the risks however you want. Ultimately it's your risk to take. But my advice to you is that the one safe thing that you can do about a physically abusive person is to have their crimes reported to the police.

Ultimately this person will not admit that they have a problem until they are good and ready to do it on their own. And if seeing their loved ones beat to shit doesn't make them want to get help I somehow doubt having a talk with a friend will either. But like I said, it's your life, it's your call. But there is a reason that trained professionals put months of preparation into interventions - because they are extremely dangerous.

Also emotionally abusive situations often escalate into physical abuse. So again. I would at least get a professional opinion before approaching the abuser in question.