Five Guys Burgers: A Review
Because you're all dying to hear me weigh in on this...
OK, I've heard SO much hype about Five Guys burgers. One just opened up around the corner from my office, and wanted to give it a try. Given all the hype, I wanted to set my expectations realistically. Going in, I was expecting "Better than Burger King, but about on par with Uno (or Applebees, or any of those chains)."
Atmosphere: ■ ■ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □
Holy cow, was it noisy. It was like standing on the floor of the NYSE. And we hadn't even hit what I'd consider a lunch rush yet. Just to be heard, I had to bark my order at the cashier, she barked back at me, fry cooks barked at the prep guys, managers barked at everyone. And somehow I got the impression that this is how it always is, regardless of traffic. It's part of the brand image: hectic, loud, edgy, not your father's burger joint. Sort of how Dave & Buster's is not your father's Chuck E. Cheese. At any rate, I could feel my nerves coming unraveled. I almost wanted to just slip out and abandon my food.
I looked around at the type of person eating here. Since we're down in Portland's Old Port, there were a lot of white-collar professional types. I think most people were there for the novelty of it all (like myself). But not the kind of customer to keep coming back.
Food: ■ ■ ■ ■ □ □ □ □ □ □
I got a bacon cheeseburger, regular fries, and regular drink. Almost $12 for that. I'd say the portion of fries is decent, and the burger was of respectable size, but certainly not as large as I've heard.
The burger? Not bad, but certainly not great by any stretch. Merely "OK." Ever get that thought -- while paying $20 for a mediocre steak at Outback (Longhorn, etc.) -- "I can cook a better steak at home. And for less than half the price?" That's what I was thinking while munching the burger.
The burger quickly became a sloppy mess. All sorts of toppings just sliding out the back, there was a cheese "scab" that glued the backside of the burger together. And then there's the famous grease. I do enjoy a burger with some funk, but this didn't seem like meat juice...it was more like vegetable oil that had weeped out of the cheese slices.
I definitely like their fries better than their burgers, and the fries are "not bad." But again, I can make this at home.
Overall: ■ ■ ■ ■ □ □ □ □ □ □
Overpriced + irritating atmosphere + so-so food = not worth the money or hassle.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go Roto-Rooter my aorta.
OK, I've heard SO much hype about Five Guys burgers. One just opened up around the corner from my office, and wanted to give it a try. Given all the hype, I wanted to set my expectations realistically. Going in, I was expecting "Better than Burger King, but about on par with Uno (or Applebees, or any of those chains)."
Atmosphere: ■ ■ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □
Holy cow, was it noisy. It was like standing on the floor of the NYSE. And we hadn't even hit what I'd consider a lunch rush yet. Just to be heard, I had to bark my order at the cashier, she barked back at me, fry cooks barked at the prep guys, managers barked at everyone. And somehow I got the impression that this is how it always is, regardless of traffic. It's part of the brand image: hectic, loud, edgy, not your father's burger joint. Sort of how Dave & Buster's is not your father's Chuck E. Cheese. At any rate, I could feel my nerves coming unraveled. I almost wanted to just slip out and abandon my food.
I looked around at the type of person eating here. Since we're down in Portland's Old Port, there were a lot of white-collar professional types. I think most people were there for the novelty of it all (like myself). But not the kind of customer to keep coming back.
Food: ■ ■ ■ ■ □ □ □ □ □ □
I got a bacon cheeseburger, regular fries, and regular drink. Almost $12 for that. I'd say the portion of fries is decent, and the burger was of respectable size, but certainly not as large as I've heard.
The burger? Not bad, but certainly not great by any stretch. Merely "OK." Ever get that thought -- while paying $20 for a mediocre steak at Outback (Longhorn, etc.) -- "I can cook a better steak at home. And for less than half the price?" That's what I was thinking while munching the burger.
The burger quickly became a sloppy mess. All sorts of toppings just sliding out the back, there was a cheese "scab" that glued the backside of the burger together. And then there's the famous grease. I do enjoy a burger with some funk, but this didn't seem like meat juice...it was more like vegetable oil that had weeped out of the cheese slices.
I definitely like their fries better than their burgers, and the fries are "not bad." But again, I can make this at home.
Overall: ■ ■ ■ ■ □ □ □ □ □ □
Overpriced + irritating atmosphere + so-so food = not worth the money or hassle.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go Roto-Rooter my aorta.